Contrasting Life

“Your highness, I am glad to see you all and well.”

When I left the room, I was greeted by Vernon. The old man bowed deeply with a smile.

“I will be returning as your guard and servant.”

“Vernon… I apologize for what happened that day.”

“What could you be apologizing for?” he appeared to be puzzled.

“... For the troubles.”

“If you refer to that time in the library, please think nothing of it. On the contrary, I see it as my failure. I failed to save you.”

I shook my head.

“I did not expect that I would unleash that much power. Being guilty of something that everyone knew impossible to achieve is the height of absurdity. It is understandable if one couldn’t accomplish something because it is out of their capabilities.”

“If that is the case, your highness. Then you should have no need to apologize since what happened is beyond your control. It is understandable if one couldn’t accomplish something because it is out of their capabilities.”

“Hehehe.”

His words caused a genuine chuckle from me. It was amusing actually.

“In that case, everything is even.”

“It appears so…” he straightened his clothes with an amused smile himself. “What are your plans today, your highness?”

I began walking as both Mera and Vernon followed.

“Hmm. I’m not returning to my magic training for today. I plan to rest and go around for a while.”

Besides, this might be a good time to do some scouting.

Or because I just want some fresh air.

“I think it’s for the best,” Vernon said.

“To be honest, I have qualms about continuing today. What… what if it happens again?”

I held out my hand. I wondered if I try now, would the same thing happen again? If it happens again though, maybe I can endure it. I don’t have my weapons anyways, so I’m safe. That said, death was possible.

I think I should let my body rest.

“Don’t worry, your highness. I will be overseeing you closely. At a first sign of it, I apologize but I will be instantly putting you unconscious. I have permission from your father.”

“If it’s for the best, then it’s fine.”

“... Milady, I pray it doesn’t come to that.”

Mera’s words caused me to smile.

“Thank you.”

“Where do you plan to go, your highness?”

“The garden.”

It was peaceful there. The perfect place to get some fresh air.

We then arrived at the garden.

I took in a deep breath. The gentle wind crawling on my skin, the waves of waving colorful flowers dazzled in the beautiful garden landscape. The bright colored wisteria rustled as leaves and petals fluttered and floated in the air.

The cold and fresh air brought me ease. I beheld the eye pleasing garden of countless flowers under the bright sun. I walked closer and the wonderful fragrance of the flowers came into my nose carried by the air and breeze.

I tread the paved pathway, this for some reason brought memories to my mind. I remembered what I saw in my dream.

My mother and brother were here.

I was a child.

What a colorful memory.

I headed towards where that time’s destination was. Shortly then, I saw flowers in uniform. Pink petals. There were a lot of them. Compared to the memory, right now they were bigger and taller. Right now they almost reached my knees.

Perhaps this was as high as they can get.

I crouched down beside the flower bed. I inhaled the familiar smell. Yes, familiar. For some reason, Estelia’s memories became clearer.

Almost as if the entire thing had molded completely into me.

I reached out and touched the petals, I felt the somewhat rough texture on my fingers. Because of the memories, it almost felt nostalgic. Of course I know this wasn’t my personal memory. I could tell because the emotions were not included.

These memories were like images of videos embedded in my brain with a bit of magical mixture.

I am still who I am.

And I’m thankful that there were no other emotions who invaded my mind that weren't mine.

“Vernon, you were here before I was born, weren’t you?”

I asked him as I watched the flowers dance in the wind.

“Yes.”

“While I was young, it was pretty peaceful, wasn’t it?”

“... It was indeed peaceful.”

Yes, very peaceful. No pain, no cries of despair, no loss, no grief, no darkness, no fear.

And mine was the opposite of those.

How do you think would I feel when I have both those in my head?

I’m bitter. Angry.

How incomparably better the other was compared to mine.

Irritating.

How could people have such lives and not me?

A feeling, a question that has been plaguing me for a very… very long time.

It’s agonizing.

I stood up.

But, I have come here, wasn’t this my second chance?

A change of life. Freedom. I had those, now I will live that life.

However, the thought of it only made me angrier. Everything was so peaceful, every memory of Estelia. But why now? Now that I’m here, those who threaten me began to emerge.

Enemies are possibly nearby, within our ranks. And some may even possibly be just outside the gates.

They threaten me.

The thought of having a free, relaxing, carefree life was fading away.

I turned towards the bench under the shade of wisterias and walked towards it. I sat down and leaned back.

I took in a deep breath then heaved a long loud sigh.

How tiring and irritating this may be, I must take up arms and face threats head on.

I will erase anyone that dares to take my peace and wish away from me.