Chapter 1:

0: Rosalia

I was Born the Unloved Twin


Ah....I died.Bookmark here

I don't know how I know this, but I'm dead. Bookmark here

I'm in a dark space that's warm and comfortable but completely unlike a bed. It makes no sense, I can only be dead.Bookmark here

How did I even die?Bookmark here

I can't remember but that's probably for the best. Maybe that's what happens when you die, it gets blurred out. Because otherwise, it would be too much, it would hurt too much.Bookmark here

It already hurts, it hurts so much. I don't know what hurts more dying or being dead.Why did I say such things back then.?Bookmark here

Damn it why did I say all those things. "I want to die" I'm better off dead" "I should just-" Damn it Damn it Damn it!Bookmark here

It hurts. Now that I'm really dead, it really hurts so much.Bookmark here

What a weakling I am, a hypocrite. In the end. I really wanted to live huh? I had a lot of problems, my life wasn't easy....but still I wanted to live. Bookmark here

Mom, Dad, everyone....I'm sorry. Bookmark here

I am so sorry.Bookmark here

I don't want to leave you all. I want to stay longer, do more, be more. I wanted to make more memories . I wanted to make you all happy...I wanted to live happily.Bookmark here

But I can't anymore. Bookmark here

It's all my fault. I don't do it myself but I still died. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.Bookmark here

There's nothing I can do in this space but cry, so that's what I'm doing. Cry and scream and cry some more. In this dark safe space, I'll cry out my regrets and then some. Because it's too late for regrets but I'm endlessly filled with them. Bookmark here

I cried and cried into the darkness yet nothing happened. I didn't feel much better as I cry, it was just too much to hold in.Bookmark here

So this is what it's like to die too soon. To die like I did, full of regrets.Bookmark here

I cried even as I saw a light shining in the distance. I cried as it got closer and closer, not because of fear but because I was just so damned sad. Bookmark here

So this is it?Bookmark here

No! I won't accept it! I want to live! Do you hear me? I want to live!Bookmark here

A flash....and I'm gone...Bookmark here

...or am I?Bookmark here

It's too bright, everything is too bright and too loud. It's the complete opposite of the quiet darkness I was in before. I can hear my own crying voice but amplified.Bookmark here

Everything is strange, scary and all too much. It's awful.Bookmark here

"It's a girl! A healthy girl!"Bookmark here

I hear shouting in an unfamiliar yet still understandable language. Bookmark here

"Deep breathes, you must keep going M' Lady!"Bookmark here

"She's weak!"Bookmark here

"Prepare more hot water stat! We must prepare for the next one."Bookmark here

I hear a woman scream in excruciating pain and the rush of panic around me. Voices I don't recognize, strange words that I can somehow comprehend. I can hear those sounds muffle as I get further and further away from the awful noises.Bookmark here

In a way I understand.Bookmark here

Just like how I knew I was dead, I understand that I've been born again. I'm alive!Bookmark here

But I can't stop crying, it hurts. Not so much physically, though all my senses do tingle uncomfortably. The pain I'm feeling is more mental, the regrets of all my life culminated. Bookmark here

I only stop and calm when grabbed by large steady hands. They're rough, not exactly gentle but the stablest I've ever felt.Bookmark here

I can't see clearly, everything is a blur. But it's a man, that much I can tell from how he holds me and his general shape. He holds me calmly and for the moment I can stop the painful sobbing.Bookmark here

He hums, and though I can't see well I can tell he's observing me intently. Bookmark here

"Congratulations Lord Commander, your first grandchild." Bookmark here

Another voice, more words, and people I don't recognize. But it's better here compared to where I was, much quieter, and without the overstimulation of everything around me.Bookmark here

"...I see." that man finally speaks, his voice oddly soothing. Bookmark here

"What is it my Lord?"Bookmark here

"You too huh...I thought I was the only one."Bookmark here

"Pardon me Great Lord, whatever do you mean?" Bookmark here

"It's nothing, just..."Bookmark here

"Just?"Bookmark here

"She's done this before. And she's not happy about it."Bookmark here

"Pardon? What?"Bookmark here

"Haha very well then, I'll allow it. While you are under my line your name shall be Rosalia."Bookmark here

"A name directly from you sir? My what a blessing!"Bookmark here

"A blessing? Ha, that's will be up to you little one. Do your best then. It will be interesting if anything."Bookmark here

Those hands wrap me in something warm. It can't compare to the dark but it was still good, comforting. Despite the sounds of screaming and rushing people a sense of lulling peace compels me. As if something heavy has been crowned upon my head and eyes.Bookmark here

I may be imagining it as I fall asleep but it feels like gentle rocking, strong and steady. I'm too tired from crying to consider the stranger's words any further. Bookmark here

I just take them as truth, I am now Rosalia.Bookmark here

----Bookmark here

Bookmarked
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