Chapter 1:

1: A Second Chance

I was Born the Unloved Twin

I woke up alone, tired and absolutely helpless. But I woke up aware of who I am and my surroundings.Bookmark here

I am Rosalia Therese Ventrella and I have lived this life before. Bookmark here

Or at least that's what it feels like... how else do you explain my supposed entire life playing out like a badly made movie? A terribly realistic and painful movie. One that I truly wish I could wake up from, but when I finally did it wasn't to my own bed nor body. Bookmark here

After arriving to this world, this life, as a newborn - I fell into a deep sleep. It was peaceful, restful even. until the silent dream turned into a nightmare that would not end- not till I died a gruesome death. My previous self's death. Bookmark here

This child, the me of now was born the eldest to a powerful noble household. My grandfather is the hero of this land, his name resounds far and wide, well respected in this semi-peaceful world. I grew up well taken care of, like a flower in a greenhouse. I grew up twisted by the humans around me.Bookmark here

I was not alone.Bookmark here

I had a sister who was born just minutes after me. She was the source of so much of my suffering, whether she knew it or not. My younger twin sister- Lilyanne Maria Ventrella. Bookmark here

We had the same face and yet our fates were so different I could cry at the thought. Or is it a memory? Both?Bookmark here

The minute after the strike of midnight passing into the New Year, the holiest day of this world, came Lilyanne's birth. She was a prophecy come true, the dawn, the light, and the future. Or so the 'wise men foretold. Bookmark here

I don't even know who these shitty geezers are?!Bookmark here

I was born too early, a minute before midnight, a minute before the end of the passing year. It was not necessarily a bad omen but definitely not a good one. It was ominous but that would come later, the implication was clear. Still, I was the firstborn child to the only daughter of the hero and the country's future prime minister. Bookmark here

It was impossible to mistreat me. Right?Bookmark here

It was pure neglect, that's what I saw watching Rosalia's memories. Mine now, a part of my soul whispers. Sometimes being ignored, being a ghost, was more painful than being physically hit.Bookmark here

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Since the beginning, Lilyanne came first. Her birth was messy, complicated and her health stayed bad throughout our childhood. Her frail health slowly grew into a delicate constitution and then into a pure gentle nobleness incomparable to any other lady. It made sense for her to be the bearer of such a blessing, a holy power. Bookmark here

How funny.Bookmark here

My sister was called the perfect woman with her angelic beauty, gentle air and renowned artistry in the delicate arts. Even without her status as the Holy Maiden, blessed with the unheard power of prophecy, she was perfect.Bookmark here

The Lilyanne I knew was not the perfect woman, no she was something far worse than that. She was my beloved little sister, clumsy and far too naive for her own good. This is the most painful part; I think I loved her dearly. Bookmark here

She came first, always. Bookmark here

I'm not complaining, just saying how it was. Our parents and everyone else loved and praised her to the high heavens. And I was just there. I was there to accompany her. At best to be her keeper but in reality, it was to serve as a foil, a contrast. Even with the same face, I was different from her, I was not enough, never enough in my whole life. Bookmark here

But I was good enough to be a sacrifice.Bookmark here

The country to the north, powerful in a way ours wasn't, reached their hands out in peace. Their son and heir would be an agreeable pair with a noble granddaughter of the great hero. As the eldest, it would make sense to arrange for my marriage before hers. But really I was to be thrown away as a political pawn by the time I reached 18.Bookmark here

Not too difficult to imagine for a woman of this world in my position.Bookmark here

But here's where the real kicker lies: they fell in love. Bookmark here

Against all odds, the cold brute of a man called my fiance and my sweet foolish little sister had fallen in love.Bookmark here

What could I do with that? How was I allowed to react? What would anyone else do in my place?Bookmark here

I tried to be wise, to follow all the proper decorum and more, but it burned something terrible. It hurt more than anything I've ever faced in this already painful life. It hurt so badly because it was my own sister who did this to me. And the worst part was that it wasn't even her fault, not really. Bookmark here

I lashed out. Bookmark here

As much as it pained them, as much as songs and stories will weep for them, it's what ultimately killed me. Bookmark here

I hate her so much.Bookmark here

I resent her with every fiber of my being, everything wrong with me can be linked back to her. I hate and I raged and burned...and I loved her still. How pathetic of me right?Bookmark here

People are complicated, no matter what world or time period.Bookmark here

It wasn't her fault, not really. Neither was Lilyanne completely innocent, not in her ignorance, her foolishness or in what she allowed to happen. You hurt people even when you don't mean to. But she wasn't solely to blame in this world. Bookmark here

In the end, she was the only one to sincerely weep as I died. I remember her ugly sobbing face with a sick sense of satisfaction, even through all the sorrow. Bookmark here

"I did it, I hurt you in such a way you will never recover from dear sister. And with my death, I'll set you all free."Bookmark here

That's what I wanted to say as I laid bleeding out but I had no strength left. I had nothing left, not even hatred. Nothing but regrets that is.Bookmark here

This is not what I wanted, I'm sorry.Bookmark here

I'm sorry I want to live too. Bookmark here

I want to be happy too.Bookmark here

I'm sorry.Bookmark here

Somewhere along the line between dream and consciousness Rosalia's words and mine melded together. All the horrible guilt, unbearable sadness, and lifelong regrets bubbled boiled and mixed into a terrible potion that seems to make up my blood.Bookmark here

I get it now, I really do.Bookmark here

My name is Rosalia.Bookmark here

I repeat it to myself and not my old name....that doesn't matter really, not anymore. I am her and she's me. Just maybe, we always were one and the same. If I want to live, really live here I have to let go of some of those regrets. And if I can't, I'll just have to live twice as hard.Bookmark here

That is the only resolve I can make for our past selves.Bookmark here

I understand that despite all common sense I've been reborn as a newborn Rosalia, the light led me to a new life.Bookmark here

A cruder cynical side of me just says that the light was a literal exit point.Bookmark here

After the traumatic ordeal of being born again with the rush of my new identity, I can only move on. I don't want any more regrets.Bookmark here

I'm alive, that's all I can say. I'm alive.Bookmark here

To all my loved ones, I'm sorry and thank you. I'll never forget you.Bookmark here

But I have to live now.Bookmark here

----Bookmark here

Author: Um, hi? Ah I always get nervous about first messages.Bookmark here

 I'm trying out this site for the first time. Welcome to my Slice of Life villainess noble girl novel. Bookmark here

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