Chapter 5:

Skeleton Boxing

The Skeleton & The Idiot Sorceress


We made it to where our fight would take place. The room was fairly large. On one end there was a range set up for archery practice. The other had dummies set up for melee practice. In the center there was a roughly ten foot diameter circle etched into the floor. That would be the ring we would fight in.

We each took a side. And faced each other. Everyone else formed a circle around us. Liam pointed to one of his men.

"Ye will be the referee for tis fight."

"How about we make this fight interesting, neither of us use weapons or magic. We just use our bare hands." I said.

Not being able to use magic was a bit of a handicap for me. If I could prevent him from using weapons it would even things out.

"So ye be getting full of ye self! I'll agree to tis boxin' match, but ye better not be tryin' to pull a fast one on me lad."

I handed Erika my staff, dagger, and bag. Liam just tossed his sword and armor to the side.

"Don't worry Mr. Arno, I know you can do it." Erika said, trying to motivate me.

"One more thing before we start, what happens if I lose?" I asked.

"I will single handedly execute ye for being a traitor and the lass will be imprisoned and put to work farmin' crops." Liam said in a stern voice.

"Ok and if I win?"

"If ye somehow manage to win, then ye be free to leave me floor."

Erika spoke up, "If Mr. Arno wins, can I make some demands too?"

"Yeah whatever. If tis traitor Arno wins I will humor ye silly requests lassy."

The skeleton refereeing the match stood in the center of the ring.

"Alright, everyone has agreed to the terms of this fight. It will be hand to hand, no weapons or magic. Cheating will result in instant disqualification. There is no time limit. The match will go until one of you is unable to continue. Are you both ready?"

I nodded.

"Never been more ready laddy!" Liam muttered confidently.

"On the count of three, the match will begin. One... Two... Three... Begin." The ref shouted.

Liam and I squared up with each other. I started out throwing a few jabs at him, but nothing seemed to connect. He managed to dodge and block everything I threw at him.

"Ye gonna have to do better than that laddy. I was a notorious brawler in me youth. I'd go tavern to tavern boxin' the toughest blokes around.”

I may have underestimated him. I didn't expect him to have actual boxing experience when he was alive. I hoped he would just erratically come at me and I would deal a finishing blow, but it seemed like I was the one in trouble.

He came back at me, punching left and right. He may have a short reach and only come up to my chest, but he could easily read my movements. I struggled to block his punches.

Luckily, I was a skeleton, if I was still human, I'd have already been knocked out. I had no skin, brains, intestines, or really any organs for that matter. The only way this match could end is for one of us to have all our limbs or head knocked off.

I continued getting bombarded with continuous blows. I needed to find a way to throw him off his game...

"Not bad for someone so short." I managed to mutter out between blows.

Liam Stopped for a moment and stepped back. He had a look of rage in his face.

"What did ye say about bein' short, lad? I'm thinking ye misspoke cuz I ain't short!"

Some of his men chuckled a bit.

"I didn't misspeak. Maybe someone should get you a ladder to make this fight more fair." I taunted.

"*BEEP* I'm gonna kill ye!" He shouted.

He charged at me in a blind rage. This time his punches weren't as calculated as before. I was able to sidestep him coming toward me. I was able to put a little distance between us. He charged me once again. This time I wound up my right hand and when he got close enough, I uppercut him with all the force I could muster.

His skull detached from his body and went flying across the room. It bounced off one of the Archery targets and landed on the floor. His body stood for a few moments until it crashed to the ground.

The referee came out and raised my arm.

"Arno is the decisive winner of this match. Commander Liam is unable to continue."

I felt suddenly relieved. A few skeletons ran over to retrieve Liam's head. He was continuously spouting curses as he was being carried back to his body.

"*BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP*."

A few of his men propped his body up and reattached his head. He seemed incredibly dissatisfied.

"Guess I win," I said gloating.

"I'm a man of honor, so I won't go back on me word, but that be a cheap shot and ye know it. In me mind, I will never consider that a win. The only ting good about tis is I never have to see ye again."

Liam looked like he was about to storm out of the room (probably to go pout about losing). Erika suddenly spoke up though.

"Not so fast! You said you would honor my requests if Mr. Arno won."

Liam huffed.

"Fine. What do ye want Lassy. The quicker we get this over with, the sooner I can get ye two out of me hair for good."

"Okay, first of all I want my whistle back. I also want you to bring me some food and a container of water."

"Just give the Lass what she wants."

A skeleton handed her the whistle back and another brought a canteen of water and some corn and potatoes.

Erika spoke again, "I'd also like an apology from all of you for taking my whistle and making Mr. Arno fight."

I think she's getting a little carried away, but if it makes her happy, I guess it's fine.

The skeletons collectively gave a half-hearted "we're sorry."

Erika continued to make more demands.

"You, right there. You're the one who took my whistle, right?"

"Yeah?" The skeleton said hesitantly.

Erika got an almost sinister look on her typically cheerful face.

"Get on your hands and knees and-."

I had to cut her off before she went too far.

"I think you’re good."

I quickly grabbed the back of her neck and began dragging her away. Liam and all his men watched us department with puzzled looks on their faces.

✨✨✨

We headed to the exit to make our way to the next floor. Erika was holding an armful of the corn she extorted from the skeletons. There were also some potatoes she stuffed in my satchel.

"Finally I can eat something. It's been at least an entire day." She said while gnawing on her ear of corn.

Erika started making small talk between bites.

"I wish I could share some of this food with you Mr. Arno, but I know you said you can't eat… So you like can't even taste anything too?" She asked curiously.

"No I can't. I'm a soul bound to this set of bones. I don't have the bodily functions humans do." I replied.

"How exactly do you live and stuff then if you can't eat or drink or anything?"

"Now that we’re bound, I survive off your life force. Our souls are linked. So my existence depends on you."

She looked at the seal on the back of her hand.

"I see… kind of like a tick, except you won't suck my blood or give me lyme disease."

"I guess in a way, yes."

"Huh, interesting... Hey Mr Arno, there's something that short skeleton said back there that I still don't understand." Erika looked at me inquiringly.

"What’s that?"

"What does *BEEP* mean?"

Oh... Liam's mouth probably wasn't a good influence on her. How do I go about explaining this to her?

"Well...how do I put this...there are certain words that aren't something a young lady such as yourself should be saying."

"Ok, but what does it mean though?" She continued to press me.

"Uh... So... Let's just say it's something you don't need to know."

"But I'm eighteen, so I'm technically an adult. Why not?"

By the way she acted I expected her to be younger.

"You just can't, okay. Let's just leave it at that."

"Okay fine." She said, pouting a bit.

Now that I dodged that one, time to focus on the next floor.

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