Chapter 16

The thick scent of blood.

The heavy air stuck at his throat.

The deafening rhythmic sound of his heartbeat.

Kyo recognized all of this; after all, it was the climax of his nightmare. He had this one so many times he knew when the drool would start dripping from the corner of his mouth. When his stomach would twist in agony as if he hadn’t eaten in aeons. When he would give in to temptation. When he would kill the first human and taste their blood. The sweetest nectar. The juiciest meat. So tender. And then he would kill the second because he wanted more. Then the third because it was so easy. And the fourth because it was fun. From the fifth on, he was high in euphoria.

The worst of all was that a tiny spectre of his consciousness was watching it all happen, gagged and in shackles, in the back of his mind. Able to feel all the sensations and emotions as he turned rabid and destroyed everything around him. Only the icy sweats and heavy breathing brought him back, short of a heart attack, to where he laid beside Akaza. Kyo looked back at Akaza, and a small sigh of relief escaped his lungs. Akaza, as if by instinct, turned in his sleep and hugged Kyo, but that didn’t erase the bitter aftertaste the nightmare left on his mouth.

When Akaza woke up, Kyo wasn’t by his side. Instead he found breakfast ready on the table, and he sat down to eat. Hours later, when Kyo arrived carrying logs under his arms and venison across his shoulders, he acted normal, as if the Kyo from the day before had been someone else. Akaza knew he was still hurting and afraid, but it was fine because Kyo allowed himself to be vulnerable with him, even if for a brief moment.

“Sure,” replied Akaza with a fair delay after Kyo asked if he wanted to eat something at the village festival later.

As the commotion from the village began reaching their ears, and the street lights showed the way for them, Kyo’s demeanour changed. His answers became shorter as his eyes went in and out of focus. Akaza continued talking, even more so, to distract him. Blabbering about everything that came to mind.

“Akaza!” Yelled Kyo once they were out in the open, surprising Akaza, who almost bit his tongue. Kyo looked straight at Akaza, his trademark smile on his face, “Let’s go all out and have fun tonight!”

The people around stared and giggled, but didn’t pay much attention to it. Akaza was embarrassed for being the centre of attention, but he too chuckled and he felt himself relax. Without realising he was anxious as well.

Hours later, with their bellies full, Akaza and Kyo sat near a stall eating another snack after both had said the previous one would be the last. The moon was at its brightest, but the main road was still lively, full of laughter. Happiness. Hope.

“After this, I think I will need another sweet,” said Kyo, finishing his snack.

“I know what you mean,” said Akaza after pondering for a moment, “These were a bit too salty.”

“And here I thought you would complain about it.”

“Well, I am as full as I can. Another bite, and I think I will burst.”

“Don’t worry, once morning comes I’ll help you burn all that food.”

“You keep sounding like and o-”

Before Akaza could finish his sentence, something grabbed both their attention and they felt the time stop. Both looked across the main street where three teenagers sat. Blood was dripping from a gash on one of the boy's hands. Akaza and Kyo gulped at the iron smell filling their nostrils in unison. Akaza easily broke the spell and blocked off the scent and sound, and turned to look at Kyo. He noticed Kyo’s eyes dilating, hyper-focused on a single point. He heard Kyo’s heart, violent and irregular. Kyo was trying his best to remain calm however, he wasn’t winning the battle, and his intrusive thoughts kept getting louder. His nightmare overlapping with reality.

“I’ll get jealous if you think about someone else so much,” said Akaza, squeezing Kyo’s hand.

That was all it took. Kyo’s ears completely disregarded the sound of the blood dripping across from him, and in a daze, he turned his head to Akaza. Slowly his eyes focused on Akaza, his expression so soft and strong, and he smelled his comfort place – home.

“Sorry,” stuttered Kyo, “I got distracted.”

“Shall we go find something sweet to eat?” Asked Akaza standing up and pulling Kyo to his feet.

Without a word, Kyo matched his pace with Akaza, his heart still trying to calm down, and he just kept focusing on his lover. A smile showed on his lips as he admired Akaza, drooling at all the sweets he had yet to taste, his heart finally steady. Akaza decided to get a crêpe and Kyo went along with it. As they walked towards the edge of the village, ready to go home, a man bumped into Akaza hard enough to make him wobble and almost fall. The young man continued walking fast without looking back, and Kyo turned around, ready to follow him and demand an apology.

“It’s fine,” said Akaza, a strained smile on his face, “Let’s just go.”

Kyo looked back at the direction the man had gone, but he couldn’t see him anymore. He knew Akaza didn’t want him following the man because he didn’t want things to escalate, he was restraining himself too so that nothing could spoil their date. Near the edge of the village, they sat down to enjoy the crêpe.

“You can eat the rest,” said Akaza, getting up, “I need the restroom. I’ll be back quickly.”

Kyo nodded and watched Akaza walking away towards the village. As the smile Kyo was forcing on himself disappeared, the crippling sensations of his nightmares tried to break free from the walls he put, banging against his temples. When he realised that a couple of feet away was where he had almost killed a human, his heart wavered and those walls began cracking. He closed his eyes and focused on their home, the burned smell of when Akaza tried to cook, or the sweet flavour from the snacks Akaza could actually bake.

“Why didn’t you eat it?” Asked Akaza when he sat beside Kyo, “Did you save it for me?”

Kyo opened his eyes and smiled, “I’m just too full. You eat it.”