Chapter 17

Akaza finished the crêpe as they walked home, both lost in their own thoughts. Kyo, who usually held Akaza’s hand, stared blankly at the path ahead, while Akaza, who was normally up to something, behaved. The silence was only broken when Akaza said he was going to workout before going home. Once again Kyo watched him walk away, and only when Akaza was so far away that he could barely make out his silhouette, he went home.

Hours later, when the sun was almost up, Akaza arrived home drenched in sweat. He took a shower and ate the food Kyo had left for him before going to their bedroom. Akaza watched Kyo sleeping for a long time, mimicking his worried expression with creases between his eyebrows, before he laid next to him. He breathed deeply as he tried to fall asleep while staring at the ceiling.

The following morning, the atmosphere between them was different. They went about their day, avoiding each other’s eyes, doing their own things, talking the bare minimum. A wall between them grew bigger as time passed, but neither took action to tear it down.

As the days passed the wall just continued to grow, both were walking on eggshells, edgy and careful. Akaza instead of asking Kyo to fight and workout together went by himself, and Kyo, who liked to cling to Akaza when they were together, was keeping his distance. The few times their skin touched, they both recoiled from it until they finally stopped touching, and only basic greetings and polite conversation came out of their mouths.

Kyo knew Akaza was concerned about something, and that something quickly became him. As time passed, his insecurities only increased, a plethora of scenarios skipped through Kyo’s mind as he dreaded the time he would hear Akaza say he didn’t want to be with him any more. Because of him, Akaza stopped eating humans and had to resort to eating animals and human food. Because of him, Akaza was no longer free. Because of him, Akaza was unhappy. Kyo just wanted to go back to the time when everything was good between them. When he could stare at Akaza’s beautiful eyes, and caress his fluffy pink hair. When they shared meals and baths together. When he could touch him and hug him and kiss him. When they talked and laughed.

At some point, Kyo began pondering the idea of eating humans, that way maybe Akaza would turn his gaze to him again. But just the thought of it made his body shudder in repulsion. Kyo knew how kind Akaza was, and he knew that Akaza was fed up with having someone as troublesome as him around, he just didn’t have the courage to say it.

When Kyo reached his limit, he went out searching for Akaza. Kyo was still deciding if he wanted to convince Akaza to stay together, or if he would admit defeat and walk away, either way, he missed Akaza. The caring and bashful Akaza. The honest and mischievous Akaza. At that moment, Kyo just wanted to talk and spend time with him. As Kyo approached the lagoon, memories of their first visit flooded his brain, however the reality of the present was like thorns in his heart.

When Kyo reached the higher side of the lagoon, those thorns clawed his heart as he witnessed his worst nightmare. Akaza stood beside a youthful-looking man, his eyes sparkling with an enthusiasm Kyo had never seen before. And as if that wasn't hard enough, he saw Akaza hugging the man with a huge smile on his face. Kyo couldn’t bear to watch any more and walked away. He had his answer before he even asked it. Kyo walked as fast as he could. The walking turned to a dash, until he was sprinting all the way back to their home.

“He is happier with someone else,” murmured Kyo once he reached the house, “He just can’t say it.” His heart was clenching so hard and beating so forcefully that had he not been a demon, his heart would’ve pierced through his rib cage. There was no place for him in that house any more, he couldn’t hold Akaza back. He had to let him go.

Hours later, Akaza arrived home, hesitating before opening the door. As he worked up his courage to enter, he noticed that the plate with their names, that Kyo had made, wasn’t there. He took a deep breath and walked in calling out for Kyo, the first time since the festival, but nothing broke the silence in that house. While Akaza waited for Kyo to arrive, he went to the kitchen and ate some leftovers. Then he sat in the living room and after a couple of minutes he went outside to chop some wood. When Akaza got back, he took a shower and went back to the living room. Every sound from outside made his heart skip a beat, and he anxiously waited for Kyo.

As the sun began to rise, Akaza began getting more and more impatient. Kyo would always be home before the sunrise. Even during the time they avoided each other, he would always be there before it. Akaza went to their room, thinking that maybe Kyo was feeling sick and was already in bed. Instead, the moment he stepped into the room, he noticed that Kyo’s sword was missing and a piece of paper was on the bed.

Thank you.

Being with you made me very happy.

I don’t regret that I fell in love with you.

Be happy.