Christmas Plans

The music for this chapter : https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4VdKfHAn1Y7vKyuAAWKKa1?si=88264d5864734d31 (copy pastable version in the comments)

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Even though Axelle came out of the attack unscathed, she wasn’t the one suffering most from the aftermath. As a matter of fact, Axelle seemed happy that she got to talk to her sister, even if it was only for a short while. She had also been seeking me out proactively to become my steady piano accompanist. So, in the end, I promised her that she would be my first choice for every public appearance I had to make, and that seemed to have made her happy. It felt like Lise had filled up an empty spot she left behind for me. I was not sure how to feel about that, to be honest. I felt like the fact that Lise was ever in my life was becoming more and more invisible.

Lise on the other hand had not been in touch with me ever since. Rosalinde had told me she needed to recover from healing Axelle’s soul, so the only way that I could feel her presence was while playing the cello.

In the end, the one suffering most from that attack, in the end, was Nastya. It took me some time to realize since she did not talk about it, and she was a master at keeping up appearances, but I could hear by the sound of her violin during our rehearsals that something was awry.

At first, I thought she was just having a bad day, but when she uncharacteristically screwed up big time during rehearsals with a very stale and tense performance, I could not stand it any longer. It became clear something was eating away at her and that it was getting worse with time. I decided to confront her in private that night.

At first, she tried to play it off, but since I wanted to get to the bottom of this fast, I kept on poking, and eventually, she confessed to me what was troubling her:

“I just don’t know how to connect to papa anymore. I don’t even know if I really want to. I’m scared.”

I could understand her sentiment. He was no longer the man he was during his lifetime. He even severely hurt 3 people that were close to her. I would be in doubt too if someone asked me to summon the ghost of a man like that. Even if he wasn’t completely in control of his actions. I mean what if he loses control of his actions when Nastya meets him? Could I take responsibility for that?

On the other hand, I felt this was one of these now-or-never situations. I was certain that if we did not do it now, it would no longer be possible and if we did not complete what we set out to do, we would regret it forever.

It hurt me to see Nastya so depressed. I realized that this was one of those moments in which talking with words wasn’t going to cut it. She helped me out in Flagey, and this time it was my turn to help her out.

I picked up my cello and said, “Let’s talk with music, that will be easier.”

Nastya looked at me a bit surprised, but quickly realized what I was getting at. She then picked up her violin and started out with a furious set of notes in D minor that were all over the place.

It was clear she was confused and sad, but I was happy that her fury was still there. I drove some deep vibrato notes down to counter her rhythmic approach. I wanted to bait her. I wanted to get her angry. The Nastya I knew would not sit down depressed; she would be an unstoppable furious force of nature that puts her father into his place. Just like she did with Aleksei so many times when he misbehaved. I wanted her to be angry at this whole situation, angry at her father, and in a state where she would not take no for an answer.

The bait was working, and her strikes became more aggressive and wider forcing me to follow her. So, I tried provoking her some more with some wild arpeggios, but she instantly slammed the door. I looked into her eyes and saw a fire burning. I gulped. I had her where I wanted, but at the same time, it felt like she had me where she wanted me. So, instead of provoking her even further, I started supporting her. Showing her that she would not be alone. I would be there with her whatever she decided to do. Just like I promised her. We were in this together.

She transformed her melody into the start of the third part of the Sibelius violin concerto. The power that came from her violin was immense as she led our duet to a fiery climax. I knew these were her deepest feelings on the matter that I was bringing out and I could feel they touched me in the deepest parts of my soul. This was the Nastya that I was looking for. The Nastya that I knew.

After our final notes sounded, we were both completely out of breath. Just as if we had run a marathon, but I could see something in Nastya had changed.

“I take that as a promise. I’ll never forgive you if you break that promise.” She said before packing her violin again.

“We’ll be together on that stage,” I said to show her I meant it.

At the next rehearsal, Nastya’s violin sound had undergone a transformation. She had started to climb to even greater heights. There was a clear message in her sound and her music started to sound more like a conversation than just a violin playing the right notes. Everyone present could feel something had changed and we were well on the road to making this our own version of the concerto. A version of which I hoped that it would hold up to even the most famous recordings because that was the challenge standing before us. We wanted a version to surpass the one made by our fathers.

I was so focused on music and working with the orchestra that I was really surprised when one morning, Aunt Christina called me up to know my plans for Christmas. Looking at the calendar I noticed it was indeed already Christmas in a week. Time had certainly flown by quickly.

When I told her that it had completely slipped my mind, she let out a deep sigh. “Christmas isn’t a time to spend alone you know. Have you at least asked Nastya what she plans on doing? With Aleksei still recovering, I cannot imagine this period is easy on her.”

She was right, wasn’t she? I should be more attentive to these things.

When she heard I had not even asked her about her plans, Aunt Christina replied “Make sure to ask her about it, if you want you can invite her to our place. I do not mind preparing dinner for one more.”

Determined to make up for this oversight of mine, I told Aunt Christina that I would call her back as soon as I got an answer from her. I could hear she was practicing in her room, so I immediately made my way there.

When Nastya opened the door, she looked surprised to see me during the daytime. Why was I rushing this? This could have very well waited until this evening, couldn’t it?

Well, no use crying over spilled milk. I decided to cut to the chase immediately.

“What are your plans for Christmas?” I asked.

“Since we are orthodox, we celebrate Christmas on the 7th of January. So, I thought to just stay at the academy and get in some extra practice since it will most likely be very calm here. Why do you ask?”

“Then, would you like to spend it together?”

Nastya started to blush, “Are you asking me to go out on Christmas?”

Suddenly the implications of everything I was saying hit me and I started blushing too. I decided to avoid answering that question directly. My Aunt certainly made me fall for that one…

“Nobody should be alone at Christmas. It’s a time to spend with friends and family.”

Nastya got a rather peculiar smile on her face and said “I see. Sure, I wanted to visit the Christmas market in Brussels anyway.”

Wait… that was not what I came to invite her for… I should try to fix this.

“Aunt Christina told me that I could invite you for Christmas dinner at our house.”

“Great. Let’s go there afterward then. I am curious to see what Belgian Christmas entails.”

It seems like I invited her for something on top of that. I guess I should just resign before I make it even worse. Somewhere I felt relieved she had agreed. Why was I so relieved that I was spending Christmas with her? I hadn’t cared for Christmas since the accident…

“It’ll just be my aunt, Inge, and the two of us, so don’t expect too much.”

“So, you aren’t inviting your other friends from the dorm?” Nastya said in a teasing voice.

I had not even considered that. I shook my head. I felt a blush rise on my cheeks again.

“We just thought you would most likely be alone.”

“We? So, this was not your idea?” Now Nastya sounded disappointed, so I quickly replied

“If my aunt had not called me and reminded me about Christmas, I would most likely have forgotten about it. But that does not mean I do not want you there. As a matter of fact, meeting up with you is the only thing that makes me look forward to it.”

Now Nastya started blushing heavily. What on earth did I just say in the spur of the moment?

I wanted to say something more, but Nastya interrupted me by putting a finger on my lips.

“I’m not letting you spoil it again. I’ll be looking forward to our Christmas date.” Then she gave me a kiss on my forehead, and while closing the door of her room again, she said, “Give me the details later, now I’d like to continue my practice.”

I was left standing perplexed in the hallway.