Christmas eve

The cold wind was really doing a number on me. I had been standing on the platform for almost half an hour now. Of course, my train had to be late. They are always punctual when I want to go to school or somewhere unpleasant, but when I actually wanted to be somewhere on time, of course, it had to be late.

When they announced that the train was finally about to arrive, I could not help but notice they were still calling it the train from 10:05. That was quite ironic. It was closer to 11:05. Apparently, no matter at what time it actually arrived the 10:05 would always be the 10:05.

Realizing that I would be over 15 minutes late at our rendezvous spot, I messaged Nastya and instead of waiting at the “Bourse”, she said she would get a cup of coffee while waiting for me in the large hall of the central station.

Just knowing that I would be late was distracting me to read sheet music during the trip. I had even brought the scores “Le bourgeois gentilhomme” by Lully. It was music written for the play by the same name by Molière. I got interested in it after hearing one of the songs in a movie. It was something relatively simple to read because I knew I would not be able to focus 100% while riding the train, but the fact remained that I just hated being late and it was breaking my concentration nevertheless. To avoid this predicament, I had even chosen a train that would get me there half an hour early and I was still running late. I vowed to myself to talk to Aunt Christina about getting my driving license. That way I would be able to avoid this problem in the future, although that would come with its own set of problems like obtaining a car… But no reason to start worrying about that now, the only consolation I had about the fact that I was late, was that I was able to let her know that I would be late. How did people survive in the pre-mobile phone era? I could only imagine the world must have been one big burning chaos in those days.

While I started looking at the winter landscape outside, my gaze started to look at the girl in the reflection. Lise sure helped me a lot. I would not have been able to pull a look like that off by myself. I was scared that she would be sad again like last time, but I felt like she was genuinely supportive of me having a good time with Nastya. Her supportiveness left me with confusing feelings, to be honest. What did this all mean? My whole situation with Lise was one big mess at the moment. Her presence was such comfort but at the same time, it felt oppressing. It confronted me every second with the fact that things weren’t as they used to be, and never would be again. I could also feel that she had been creating more and more distance between the two of us ever since we met again, but on the other hand, I could feel when I played the cello that she genuinely cared for me. And while playing, I could return those feelings to her.

As soon as the doors of the train opened, I rushed out toward the large Art Deco hall in the central station since I did not want to make Nastya wait for a second longer than I needed to. I hated making people wait for me.

Although the hall was certainly impressive. My eyes were not focused on appreciating the architecture of the building at the moment. They were looking around to see if I could spot Nastya. I looked at all the places where you could get coffee, but she was nowhere to be found. Was I in the wrong place? I took out my phone to double-check when someone suddenly gave me a tap on my back. I shrieked, as I freaked out and almost launched my phone into plain air. This place wasn’t the safest place in the world and Aunt Christina always warned me about Brussels… I turned around to see my eyes meet up with a Nastya that was having trouble stopping herself from laughing. “Sorry, sorry.” That face did not look sorry at all. I faked slapping her shoulder to show her that she should not scare me like that, but I could not resist and started laughing myself, undermining myself completely.

“I went to the platform where your train would arrive, but you just rushed out toward the exit without even noticing me.”

Nastya made a face to show she was hurt.

“I’m sorry. You said you would be in the income hall, so I just hurried there.”

She started giggling again showing she was not really hurt. “Don’t be. I thought it was cute to see you hurrying to be by my side. Were you looking forward to seeing me that much?”

I could feel a blush starting to cover my cheeks.

“I-I just hate being late.”

Nastya had a smug smile on her face. It seemed like she was enjoying making me squirm. This exchange reminded me a little of how Lise and I used to fool around while we were still friends.

“Well, at least we found each other.”

She then gently kissed my cheek. A shiver went through me as her soft lips gently caressed my cheek. What on earth was she doing? Seeing the shock on my face, Nastya looked surprised at me. “That is how Belgians greet you when you meet up, is it not?”

I just meekly nodded. Nastya seemed relieved that she did not get it wrong.

She had caught me completely off guard. Of course, a kiss was just a greeting, I am used to that. But wasn’t that kiss way too sensual to be just a greeting? Argh! Why was I so nervous?

Before my mind could calm down, she grabbed my arm and said, “Let’s go, shall we?”

The second we stepped outside of the station I was a bit shocked by the sheer amount of people that were out and about. Maybe because it was Christmas eve tonight? But still… Did so many people wait until the last minute for their Christmas shopping? I had expected this day to be a calmer day…

I felt a bit nervous since I wasn’t used to extreme crowds like this. Subconsciously, I grabbed Nastya’s arm a little firmer, who returned the gesture with a gentle smile. I quickly averted my eyes. What was this? I felt my heart rate go up quickly. I immediately wanted to release her arm again, but she kept it in place and provided me with the excuse that I needed to quell my feelings of guilt. “We would not want to get separated in this crowd, do we?”

While we ventured from stall to stall, which was mostly selling Christmas decorations and other Christmassy stuff like gingerbread, I started to relax more and more. Although I had no real interest in all those Christmas gadgets, watching Nastya’s enthusiasm, I could not help but start to get in that Christmassy mood.

“What should I get for your Aunt?” She suddenly asked me.

“What do you mean?”

“I did my research. It is custom to bring gifts for Christmas, is it not? What did you get her? Maybe I will learn what kind of person she is from that. It’s hard to bring a gift for someone you have only met a couple of times you know.”

Those words felt like bullets. Getting gifts completely slipped my mind. If I had not come here today, I would have looked super ungrateful toward Aunt Christina tonight.

“I haven’t had time to get gifts yet.” I had been so focused on coming here today and having Nastya over that I had skipped over something so basic as Christmas gifts. I cursed myself in my mind.

Nastya looked at me a little surprised. She put in all that effort to look things up about Christmas in Belgium, so to save face, at least I hoped I would get away with it, I quickly added “I was hoping to get them together today.”

That brought a peculiar smile to Nastya’s lips. Did she see through my bluff? While I was worrying, Nastya’s follow-up question cornered me even more. “Did you have something specific in mind?”

“Not really. Let’s look around shall we.” I tried to sound as upbeat as I could to hide my embarrassment.

We started browsing. I could see that Nastya really enjoyed going from stall to stall to see all the handcrafted items that were impossible to get in regular shops. While Nastya was looking at some strange Christmas accessories my eyes landed on a couple of treble clef-shaped cell phone straps. If I got this for Nastya we could have something matching. I think we are close enough to have something matching to show we are friends… I looked back at Nastya. Someone had started explaining to her how those, whatever those things were, were made. Before Nastya would have a chance to notice I quickly handed the seller some cash and pocketed 2 of the straps. I looked back at Nastya. It seemed I got away with it. I felt a smile form on my face. That was one gift down.

In the end, we bought some funny-shaped candles for Aunt Christina and Inge. There was even one that looked exactly like a bottle of wine. It wasn’t too expensive, and they were something that they could use. I know Aunt Christina did not like getting stuff that would have to be part of her interior for all eternity.

Now that we found everything, we were drinking some glühwein (hot wine with various herbs) at one of the stalls. Apparently, Nastya had found online that that was the proper way to finish a visit to the Christmas market and that all Belgians did it that way. I personally think that was put there by the guy selling the glühwein though, but nevertheless, I decided to indulge her.

Nastya was holding her cup with both hands to warm them up from the cold before taking a sip.

I did the same thing. I could taste the orange and cinnamon that were added to the sweet and hot drink.

“This is great,” Nastya said with a broad smile on her face. “I can see how this is a good way to end the shopping.” Her cheeks were slightly red, probably from the alcohol. Hot alcohol travels fast through the bloodstream after all.

“This is my first time drinking this too.” It was my first time buying drinks with alcohol period. I had drunk a single glass of wine from time to time like any kid does after their solemn communion at family gatherings back in the days before the accident, but this was the first time I ever went out to buy drinks myself. I wasn’t about to admit that to her though.

We spent some time gossiping about our friends. Since Sara always gave plenty of juicy details of their relationship when she called me to help her with yet another one of her panics, I had quite the arsenal of gossip to keep Nastya entertained. Sara and Axelle weren’t spending Christmas together though, since Axelle was going home to France to confront her parents about the whole adoption thing and she thought she should do that by herself.

Nastya filled me in on Fabio and Toby. Apparently, they had gotten quite serious about their relationship and Toby was introducing Fabio to his parents this weekend.

While chatting away, I thought the atmosphere was quite cozy. This moment would be perfect to give her my gift.

“Show me your phone for a second.”

“Why?”

“Just do it.”

Nastya got her phone out looking at me a bit weary. I got the strap out and immediately attached it to her phone and did the same to mine.

“Now we match,” I said a bit bashful. Hoping that she would like her present. “Merry Christmas.”

Nastya looked at the strap a bit surprised, but I could see she was happy. But there was something a bit weird about that chuckle like she was having an inside joke.

“Is something wrong with it?” I asked a bit worried.

“No. It’s perfect.”

“Then why are you looking that.”

“I’ll show you.”

She got up and said, “Close your eyes.”

After a couple of seconds, I was allowed to open my eyes again and felt a necklace hanging around my neck.

I checked it out and it was also shaped in a treble clef. I looked at her with big eyes and noticed the same necklace around her neck.

“Now we match.” She giggled.