Sorry is Not Enough

“Yuu-chan, this may sound very stupid, but soon, a pair of wings will sprout from your back, and when your awakening arrives, calamities will befall those around you.”

I stared at dad, then at Kaname-san, then at Fumi, and then the gaping Izayoi.

“You’re joking, dad.”

“Do I look like I’m joking?”

“No. But this must be a joke. I thought I had a damn tumor! But I’m going to grow wings?! Am I the same as Hyakuya-san, then?! This is all nonsense. It’s not anatomically possible!”

“So, the Kazakiri clan is a youkai that brings bad luck to people.” Kaname-san said calmly. Hello, ma’am? How can you be so calm?

“Yeah, I guess so. But that’s all I know. If you want to ask more, you’d have to bring Kuuga back to life.” Dad said.

“Wait, isn’t she at Ibaraki?” Fumi raised her brows.

“That’s it. I’m done.” I stood up with a throbbing headache. I want to go home, eat something warm, and curl up in bed, then wake up to realize that this was all a dream.

“Then, I’ll excuse myself too…” Izayoi got up as well.

I stormed out of the bathhouse.

What were they saying? I’m some kind of angel of destruction or some shit? That’s ridiculous. I know that youkai exist, but being one of them?

I’m human, for god’s sake! I’m human! I’d be less surprised if something made me some kind of angel, but me, being an angel because of my birth?

I came across a vending machine, so I stopped to buy a can of juice. It tasted like puke.

“Yuuya-kun.”

“What?”

Kaname-san had a soft expression, more like a mother than a crazy woman who would marry someone for her job.

She bowed.

“I am very sorry for everything. Can we start over?”

I stared at the woman…no, the Akaname in front of me…

And laughed.

“Oh, so your apology alone is enough to make up for what you and your daughter did to me. Did you count how many times you threw that stupid frying pan at my head? How many times did your daughter try to touch me without my consent, huh?”

“Yuuya-kun, that’s not what I meant.”

“Do you think that your apology alone is enough? My life changed for the…for god’s sake, I don’t even know what's been going on with my life ever since you and your daughter married my father. And you’re asking me to start over? From where? From when we’ve never met, maybe!”

“You’re never going to give me a chance, are you?! You’re never willing to give me a chance, and that’s why this is not going anywhere!” Kaname-san raised her voice. I froze.

“I…need time.”

“Yuuya-kun, I’m a single mother. Akame never minds who her father is, but you’re different. You grew up in a normal household. I understand that you are not willing for anyone to replace Kazakiri Kuuga-san, and I never intend to replace her.” Kaname-san put her hair behind her ear. “Another thing. PUPA does not know this, but I am sure that Kazakiri Kuuga-san is dead, as you said.”

“What? Were you there when she jumped?”

“Let’s leave that for later, shall we? I will talk to Akame. You can go home and have a rest. Daiya-san will send your friend home. I won’t bother you anymore for the rest of today.”

I nodded.

“But let me just say this one thing,” she continued, “you cannot run away from yourself.”

She turned around and went back to the bathhouse. Izayoi came out together with dad, and they headed to her house without saying a word.

I walked further away from other people, and sat down on the curb, hugging my knees. Tears streamed down my cheeks.

“Mom…I don’t understand.”

I thought back to how my mother left me.