Thousand rooms and the Arrowroot Castle from the street

23:45

“Bewbs, u shur u deed int loosh tat li sens?!”

“I on ry heed it to not git stu ren! I’m shur it’s a roun!”

I couldn’t think straight though, I was hard to walk around, my vison was dizzy and blurry, and I couldn’t stop laughing. My head felt all dizzy and I just kept tripping. The liquor that I poured on my now naked body smelled intoxicating.

And Boobs was no better.

But seriously girl, where the fuck did you hide that teaching license?

It’s not in your vulva or vagina, I would have felt or maybe seen it.

It’s not in your dresser or futon. As I hear my girlfriend tripping over and making items fall over I crawl to the one place that I could think of in the state of my mind, under the mattress.

I almost thought that I wouldn’t make it because I was so drunk but went I lifted it up I didn’t see or feel the license. I tried using gyō to try refocusing my vision and I saw a crack in the floor, I flip the piece of wood over and…

“FOWND IT GEERL!!” I hold it up to Boobs.

“YAAAY!!”

“Hor a bow on mor drin be for we cal a nigh!”

“Yu do wat yu wan, I ha tu much!”

I take the bottle and try to my mouth with one last gulp of liquor, but then my legs failed and I ended up spitting it all over my boobs.

“HAHAHAHA! WHOOPS!!”

My girlfriend then attempted to help me up while gently caressing my boobs.

“Let is go tu sleep!”

We then stumble over to Boob’s room and just for kick I then make us fall onto the futon with me on top.

I just blacked out after that but not before feeling the blanket come over us.

I had a rather dreamless sleep although I think that’s what happens when you get older.

We can get drunk but because nen users in general have a more efficient metabolism than normal people, so we can recover better, put it can be a different story for high amounts of an intoxicant. When I opened my eyes, my head was pounding, I was thirsty, and I just wasn’t in the mood to wake up.

I needed water, but I didn’t want to get up. Boobs’ felt so nice and smooth under me after all…

I made a decision…

Some word of at advice, if you ever get sake, Echigo Samurai, or any sort of alcohol on you; TAKE A BATH IMMEDIATELY!!!

It just gets rancid to the smell and all the sweat from a night of getting rather kinky makes it worst.

I walk myself to the kitchen area, holding and rubbing my head, and pour myself some water. Although upon drinking the dryness didn’t go away, I must have drunk four glasses when…

“Ohaaayōōōō…”

I turn around to see my girlfriend looking all drowsy.

“Could I give you some…”

She then raised her hand to stop me, “Run a bath, I’ll get the detox mixture ready.”

I put the water pitcher back into the refrigerator and go into the bathroom to run the faucet with hot water. A minute later Boobs poured the mixture in.

When we went in, the water was nice to soak in and had a pleasing fragrance to it. Perfect for boobs that have been roughly played with while getting kinky. I look over at my girlfriend’s boobs floating in the water, mine were floating too but an H cup is more impressive than an F cup. I couldn’t stop staring.

“You don’t mind, right?”

“Would I really say no after that whole night?”

“Could I feel them a little?”

“O-kay, I guess…”

I slowly reach out to Boobs to poke her right bosom a little and then just raise it up and let is fall back into the water. So nice, soft, and smooth not to mention in place. I wonder what sort of ‘peak training’ she does because they also were pretty heavy, not like in the realm where it’s hard lift but where you start to notice.

“If you…let’s just say if you never had met Sasuke in the first place then who would you get it on with?”

“I don’t know, I mean to think about it I’d try to lead a life similar to how I am now but I’d try to teach more. May be see if my medicines can win me a Nobel Physicians’ Prize…”

“You made the vaccine and several other medicines for almost any STD!! You should be wearing it like a bling right now!”

“I only did that so any shinobi wouldn’t have to worry about wearing condoms and such, I mean the fact that shinobi can die has a very high chance. Couldn’t I do something to lower it a little?”

“It just seems ironic that you’ve only let shinobi get it and not everyone…

I had to ask her this…

“Say, isn’t Cha-Cha over the age of consent now?”

“I understand that he is not going to always be my adorable monkey, but it’s not like he first thing he’s going to do is try to get it on. Beside he more concerns himself on his studies. And unfortunately, his video games.”

“Well let’s think about the possible options of who could be attracted to him, we’ll only limit it to his classmates since they might as well be the only connections he’ll have so far.”

“Well the most likely option would be that girl with Asuka.”

I think for a Moment, “I think Cha-Cha might try to avoid her because, well you know what she was doing in that picture.”

“Another option would be Asuka herself…”

“Well they both lack experience in the realm of love, although I’m not exactly sure.”

“To really tell you the truth the only real person that Cha-Cha is in love is me.”

“Really?”

“Well it’s more maternal child-parent love than anything else, I really think that’s because he doesn’t exactly know anyone else.”

That definitely make sense, I mean I think Asuka would be the same as Cha-Cha in terms of love if she didn’t meet that street monkey.

“Akira…”

Hmm?

I then see that my girlfriend makes a more morose face.

“Can I show you something? Lest while we’re in the tub together.”

I nodded.

Boobs then started stroking her black hair with her right hand and then pulled away surprisingly a grey strand of hair. She’s really getting older!

“When did you first get that?”

“Just before my birthday apparently, it was originally one hair but now it’s five. I might end up becoming a wrinkly old monster like Sayuri-sensei.”

“Don’t say that, you do have over 40 years ahead before you really are as old as her. And doesn’t being an effective nen user allow you longevity?”

“Yes that doesn’t mean that we’re immortal and that we can’t age. Although can’t you see how it’s pointless it is to trying hooking up for a second kid, I reckon that 15 years’ time my boobs will be sagging.”

That definitely is the point of no return for kunoichi like us in terms of aging, we can still definitely train in attempt to maintain our strength but not exactly our appearance. But the least we can do is help for the next generation such as Cha-Cha, Asuka, and Katsuragi in directing them to becoming great shinobi themselves. They might even in the future surpass us.

You know I kinda envy them, they’re teenagers now and have practically their whole lives ahead of them while we are just starting age. Boobs and I might end up living for 150 years but it’s not like our bodies will keep up.

I’ve got to say; the detox mixture works really well! I definitely don’t feel my hangover anymore.

“Say Boobs…”

“Hmm?”

“What did you put in this mixture? It might be good to use for if the Street Monkey gets a hangover.”

She them smiled, “Pretty much things you can get a grocery store, peppermint oil, rosemary oil, eucalyptus oil, wasabi powder, baking soda, Epson salt; I just had the raw materials with me in my greenhouse, kitchen, and check-up room and mixed them up.”

Wow! And I thought it would be made out of something very exotic.

“Say, does Katsuragi still live in your house?”

“She’s actually a wild card, sometimes she sleeps in Asuka’s room, sometimes she sleeps at Hanzō, other times I think she finds somewhere around the streets to sleep, probably some brothel, junkyard, or that nasty subway station. Should I also mention that she eats like a pig! Seriously it’s like when people are in the Sushi-ya during Ganjitsu.”

“I’ll be rather glad to be teaching at Hanzō again, it really seems like this friend of Asuka’s has not been accommodated. I think she might have ADHD, why didn’t you take her to me or at least look in a medical textbook about neuropsychiatric disorders.”

“She kicked the doctor when I tried to get her a check-up!! And Asuka really insisted that on letting Katsuragi be Katsuragi, even if she does things that could potentially harm her.”

I sighed.

“I’ll just go make mapo dofu for us now.”

I then stand out of the bathtub and dried myself with one of the towels and wrapped it around me. It at least works as a make-shift apron.

I get the ingredients from around the kitchen and place them on the counter. I first poured the rice and water into the rice cooker and turned it on. I then minced up four negi and a piece of shōga that Boobs grew in her greenhouse. Then I cut two more negi in half lengthwise and then cut them crosswise into two cm pieces and put everything into separate bowls. I then prepared the sauce of chili bean paste, chicken broth, oyster sauce, mirin, and sugar. Then I mixed up some cornstarch and water and placed it along with the sauce and a bottle of goma abura by the stove. I then prepared the meal in a hot chūkanabe, but as everything was starting to fry...

“I know that your cooking is not mine…”

I turn around to see that Boobs had dressed up in a red chipao while I was making asagohan.

“smells good though.”

“Um, thanks.”

She then smiled, “You get dressed girl, I’ll finish up for you.”

“Nn”

“Also, could you check my IPhone? Cha-Cha might have called or texted me.”

“Hai…”

I took Boobs’ IPhone and took it with me into her room. I put on some panties, a bra, and then a pink T-shirt with a star on the chest area and shorts. I’ll have to say Boobs, you seem to have a lot of different clothes but you only seem to wear chipaos. What’s wrong?!

Better not think about that too much. I then look at her phone to see this text:

“HAHA!!! HAHA!!! WHAT’S GOING ON OVER THERE!!! I’ve tried calling you 5 times and no answer! There’s this muscular blonde girl with a monkey tail who felt my butt up and stated asking me loads of questions that I couldn’t answer. I of course kicked her in the face, but it made her mad and attack me. Kiriya-sensei then decided to bring us outside to spar, I wouldn’t say that I won but she just kept coming at me no matter how many times I tried pushing her away. I know I could have used my kusari gama or nen’i but I didn’t want to seriously hurt her. Kiriya-sensei decided to instead end the spar as a draw and have me demonstrate my skill with the kusari gama on one of his big puppets, but did I go too far?! I ended up turning the puppet to a big pile of shredded scraps!! After that Ms. Muscles started to try wrestling me out of my weapon! I had to tie her up. I feel bad that I caused her to get suspended, but for some reason she didn’t seem to care. I don’t know how react to this? I wish I had my DS with me! I’m currently getting ready to sleep in Kiriya-sensei’s office with Hibari but what’s going on the other side?! I hope Ms. Monkey doesn’t sneak into my futon with me!”

“BOOBS!!!”

“I have asagohan ready, just bring it in!”

I walk into the kitchen, “You’re not going to believe what your son texted!”

I handed her the phone while I sit down to eat my gohan. “I guess that Echigo Samurai was bad idea.”

“Don’t get down about it. I mean we were treating ourselves and having a lot of fun.”

“Yeah, but I should’ve been more responsible during the night.”

I felt bad for her, I decided to just get up from behind her and hug my arms around her neck and cuddle her.

“It’s not your fault.”

Boobs then sighed, “Akira, how come you seem to act like we’re married when you’re around me?”

She had to ask, I better come out straight, “Because I don’t exactly find myself interested in anyone else.”

There was a silence.

“Perhaps I should explain, we’ve been really affectionate with each other and the Black Owl since around the middle of grade school, and it was fun. We even got to do some naughty things under our parent’s noses, but then there came the time where he confessed to you, we did our brutal survival training and such, and you guys hooked up. You do remember why we had our first time, right?”

“We were watching some lesbian porn while my husband was out, and we decided to try out how it really felt like?”

“Well, also I think now is that I kinda wished to be a part of relationship you had. Although the Black Owl ended up catching us several times and it was nice of him to play match-maker with me and Ging Freecss, he was a really fun guy even though he was out a lot, I still missed you. Then Ryūichi came and you know what happened, although I still love him…”

“It doesn’t feel the same, does it?”

“How did you guess?”

“Sasuke and I have worried about the same predicament. I guess I could try help out with that.”

“Really?! Also, you not minding that I’m wearing your clothes, right?”

“Keep’em girl, they’re cute on you and I don’t think I’ll ever wear it.”

“Didn’t I earlier say you should try breaking out of routine, I mean Cha-Cha’s not around… Well you’ll see him in school, but there’s no reason to stick with exactly what’s you’re doing since he’s going into the shinobi world. You have plenty of other clothes besides chipaos, why not try something else.”

Boobs then made a playful face, “Why not tell me all about it while we’re on the boat?”

She then tossed me a pair of flip-flops to put on.

Tōkyō

I sure had some cheap thrills during the night, after the old blowhard kicked me out of the Ninja Room I just crash at my lair (or as you know that subway station). I keep all sorts of things littered in there; dirty mags, porn DVDs, junk food, skateboards, spray paint cans, a nen-enforced punching bag that can handle my attacks, a jukebox, boombox, and plenty of joints to blaze, fuck I’ve even got the kind ya drink. I also gotten a beaten-up couch that I found in a junkyard, and some television, basketballs, Nintendo Switch, and DVD player that I stole (not like I worry or care about cops).

I then throw myself spread on the couch in nothing but my panties and listen to some Post Malon on my cans while looking at one of the mags nearby, that seems to cool myself. I mean, FUCK!!! That Pink Ass dude was strong but he didn’t want to show it! I mean, could you at least give me a decent kick if I asked for it, I mean that boy is pretty much some dorky sissy for a shinobi. At least Ikaruga gave a more decent fight, although unlike him she was initially avoiding fighting me because that princess really thought she was better than me and everything.

It only took a couple of attacks to get her attacking me, why couldn’t the same be done for him?

What I was doing did not help, so I took my panties off and changed the beat to something more to jack off to, I only got really pumped up as I stain the couch with myself. So I went over to the punching bag, naked, and started to beat the shit out of that. I mean, I lost to Ikaruga but she at least showed that she was strong. That’s mostly the only reason I’m kicking around Hanzō, to have a gig to fight other strong opponents, AND WHAT DO I FUCKING GET BESIDES ASUKA? A princess, a pink baby, and now some No-fight dude!!! Also, I’m here so I can get some good feel and I’ll tell ya that Asuka’s and Ikaruga’s boobs are meant to be groped! Hibari’s though are pretty small I think at a C cup but at least her butt and soft tummy are fun to play with. I need to feel Cha-Cha up more before I can decide on an opinion.

It really seems that only Asuka can really fight me, sure I might be stronger than her and mostly win mid difficultly, but she’s at least someone I can rely on, she is my bestie after all. But before her I had no one, my parents of course dumped me on the streets when I was a small kid, I even spent the first night in an old dumpster. I had to survive on my own through all sorts of things. I sure was hungry a lot, often wondering if I’d starve to death.

I’d often eat garbage, or pick pocket, or steal to be able to fill my tummy. I mean, I’ve probably had it the worse out of everyone and I don’t think they could understand. Why I want to become the strongest, so I have the strength to show everyone that I’m not a piece of shit!!!

So far I pretty much ranked #1 in terms of raw physical strength but I don’t think I could exactly beat Ikaruga, yet, and I’d be destroyed in a serious fight with Cha-Cha. It’s weird nickname, like are you supposed to dance to it?

Beating the punching bag was getting boring so I put my panties back on and then slap on a red tube top, hot pants, fishnet stockings, sneakers, and a black leather jacket on, and skate around the block to shoot some hoops. Asuka and I used to play against each other at that court, we still sometimes do but she really seems to focus a lot more of her time on training. Which isn’t a bad thing but that’s like suddenly saying you’re going to stick your nose in a book for all of the time!!

I’m not really that smart when it comes to shit about math, history, writing, not to mention that I can barely read hiragana. The streets and fighting is where I’m more able to show my smarts, after all I was bred here and learned how to survive here.

Now of course shooting hoops was getting boring as fuck. I mean no one is playing with me after all.

I brought some spray paint along so I decided to take my jacket off and graffiti the walls along the walls while listening to Bestie Boys.

I basically painted a scene where the Monkey Queen (me in my shinobi combat outfit) is the invincible warrior of the universe. Many try to challenge her but always fail including Ikaruga, Chuck Norris, the Incredible Hulk, Zero, Rockman X, Luke Skywalker, Amaterasu, Naruto, Vegeta, Goku, Wukong, Darth Sidious, Darth Vader, Yoda, Bill Cipher, and of course the Black Owl.

You’ve probably heard the term Black Owl a couple of times already, well according to rumors he’s number three in the top nen users, and heralded as genius assassin among shinobi, hell I’ve even heard he was even stronger than Asuka’s jīchan; and 11 years ago, he just disappeared.

To everyone else he’s nothing but a bunch of rumors and probably never existed, to me, he’s my one-way ticket to becoming the strongest kunoichi and Kagura ever, and probably the next Banksy in the meantime. I just don’t know how the fuck to find him.

When I started to finish up, I look on my iPhone to see, IT’S 1:45!!! I also see that my top and some of my body was covered in paint.

I was like, Fuck it!! It was worth it! I’ll probably catch some Zs in the alleyway across the street.

After I’m done I do just that, I even lit myself a joint to help me get to sleep.

When I opened my eyes, I think I was a little stoned because I kinda wanted to sleep more, until I saw that it was 7 ji 30 bun. Even though I’m suspended, might be fun to break into class.

I slipped off my clothes for a Moment to pump myself up with a large vibrating cock that I also had in my jacket while also pumping my boobs, when I finish, I do my normal warm-up routine of 900 consecutive push-ups, sit ups, one handed stand push-ups, and squats. Then I skate to the edge of Tōkyō at the harbor to run three whole laps around the city with my skateboard at hand. I even grabbed myself a zakuro on the way, I normally eat them like apples. They’re basically bitter and tough as fuck with the skin but I don’t mind the taste. I guess it kinda suits me.

After that’s said and done, I then run all the way to the back gate, only, there was an issue.

THE BLOWHARD FUCKING HAD ROBOTS AND PUPPETS THERE TO KEEP ME OUT!!!!

Well, I can always go for a back-school brawl as part of my warm-up!

One Hour later

“What the heck are you doing here?”

“Going to class…I mean what the fuck?”

“Kiriya-sensei placed all of his puppets to block you, you couldn’t…”

I then made a very dissful smirk towards her.

“Wait…you…?”

“What did you think I was doing for the last hour? It was fun!!”

Ikaruga then face slapped herself mumbling what I think is, “I’m so glad that we are getting another teacher.”

New Teacher? Who?

“Anyway, there’s something I need to ask you?”

“What?”

The princess then walked me over to the television an turned on a news channel.

The headline said, ‘BANKSY STRIKES AGAIN?!!!”

And above it was footage of people, ADMIRING MY MURAL?!

I felt a smile coming on, couldn’t help but fall over and laugh in a naughty matter.

“So you did make that!!”

“What the fuck’s wrong with my art?”

I then throw some gum in my mouth.

“You are supposed to be a good kunoichi, that means no doing rather insolent acts such as graffiti. Should I mention that you are late despite being suspended, you are out of uniform, what you are wearing can count as immodest, you smell, and you are covered in paint. I swear, you will never become a proper kunoichi!”

I snap my gum at her, “When did I ever say I wanted to be a ‘proper kunoichi’? And what exactly is ‘a proper kunoichi’ anyway?”

OOOoooo! Bet that pissed her off!

“Look, just go put your uniform on!”

“Bitch please!!”

I then stood up and got my face up to her’s and made a very smug expression with it.

“I follow my own rules, you’d have to kill me to make me stop!”

“It’s pointless of me to do that, and don’t you know how hard it is to bear…”-PSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!

I then whipped out a spray can and squirted the contents all over her.

Don’t worry, it’s silly string not spray paint. But either way, THE BITCH GOT OWNED!!!! And she deserved it!

Could laugh at her but I decide to just keep my smug smile on to keep the point. I mean the bitch was screaming and yelling “GET THIS STUFF OFF ME!!!” while running around with room.

“Serves you right!!!”

“WHAT ON EARTH IS GOING ON?!”

I turn to see Blowhard-sensei with Pink Baby, and Mr. Ass following behind.

Ikaruga then stops in front of the Blowhard, “Sumimasen!! I couldn’t keep Katsuragi-san from acting insolent and behave! She has demolished your puppets upon coming here! You have to punish me!”

“Īe, it is not your fault. I guess that Katsuragi-kun was blowing off some steam.”

You tell her…

“However…!”

WHAT?!

“That does not forgive the fact that you have created for us a clean up job!! AND PLEASE PUT YOUR UNIFORM ON!!”

“Lost it,” I snidely remarked

“PLEASE PUT ON A UNIFORM!!!”

“NOOO!!”

I then feel my bestie’s warm arms around my waist.

“Katsu-nē is perfect the way she is! I can’t see better person she can be!!”

WAY TO GO!!! How do you take that Blowhard?!

“Asuka-chan, I know that you have a love for Katsuragi-kun and wish to be her companion, but she has me on the last straw. She frequently shirks my classes, she easily gets distracted or ‘spaces out’ and ignores any lessons, does not do any of the homework I try to give her, and even if she does do it, it ends up all rushed, messy, and has too many errors to pass. The same could be said about her test taking.”

“Kiriya-sensei,…”

She lets go of me, “I’m sure that if she just stays around me more to watch out for her and I help out with her studies, I’ll sure she’ll make it.”

“I compliment your willingness to help out, but you told me that last year and Katsuragi-kun only got as high as a C in class.”

“But…!”

He stopped Asuka, “Don’t worry, we’re getting another teacher. She had experience with girls like Katsuragi-kun and also Hibari-chan. She will be…”-DON!!

“OHAYOU!!!”

In the slideway of the shōji, there was a very big woman in a purple chipao!! She had raven black hair that was tied in a bun but she still had her hair coming down on the sides, purple eyes, peach skin with a slight tan to it, and her boobs were honking bigger than mine!! With her chipao she wore red pants, armband, and shoes, white socks and a red sash.

“HAHA!!!!”

Wait…so that’s Cha-Cha MOTHER?!

Mrs. Chipao then went over to Cha-Cha to give him a big hug, “I missed you baby!”-CHUU!!

-CHUU!!

-CHUU!!

She was kissing him?

Is that, what love from a mother is supposed to be like? Like I fucking know or care?! My Haha dumped me on to the streets!! Although looking back on my life, it was really shitty for me! I could help but scowl in envy and fury on seeing how much affection he was getting. My fists were clenching and shaking.

I just wanted to rip I’m not Hibari out of his mother’s arms and give him a piece of my mind!! Like rip his hair out!! Break his nose!! Stick my fist up his ass!! Turn his eyes to mush!!! And then see if his oh so dear Haha is still willing to give her affections then.

And I was about to try to do that when…

“Chifusa-san, I know you love your son and all, but we have a class to get through.”

She let go of Mr. Ass, “Oh, sumimasen, I couldn’t help myself.”

She cleared her throat,

“Ohayō everyone!! My name is Sonsaku Chifusa, but you can refer to me as Chi-Chi-sensei! And I’d like to say, you’re all so adorable!!”

Chi-Chi? Like as in boobs? Either this Haha here is a responsible parent or a total boob.

“We’re going to have fun together, and there is one thing for class that we’re going to do first.”

She then moved the table from the ninja pit, took out a scroll from her dress and make a couple of hand signs with it and slammed in onto the floor.

Smoke then came out of it…

Did the crazy bitch summon something to the Ninja Room?! What is it?

A weapon?

A youkai?

PLEASE DON’T BE A GEOMETRY TEST!!!

Only what appeared out the smoke was…

A medical exam table?

“WE’RE GOING TO HAVE A CHECK-UP!!!!”

I just fell down in shock. I mean…

A CHECK-UP!!! THIS ISN’T A FUCKING DOCTOR’S OFFICE!!!

AND I HATE SEEING THE DOCTOR!!! THEY PRICK YOUR FINGER AFTER ALL AND LOOK AT YOU IN RATHER UNCOMFORTABLE WAYS!!!!

“Chotto matte,” I heard the princess, “As much as my family trusts you, Sonsaku-hakase, are you licensed to do this?”

Boobs-sensei then pulled out a medical license and teaching license, “Didn’t I say you can refer to me as Chi-Chi-sensei?”

She then put the licenses away and pulled out a white board and started writing on it, “I know some of you may be confuse as to why it’s not really training, but reality a heathy ninja is powerful ninja!! And nen has its basis in medicine, so this can help me in personalizing how each of you train. And also it’ll be a rather nice and intimate way for me to get to know all of you.”

“But Haha, didn’t you give me a check-up last month?”

“That’s why you’re going last honey.”

“What’s a check-up?”

Really now Pimples! You don’t know!?

“Really now? Better put you on second.”

“Matte, then who’s first?”

“See for yourself…”

She turned the whiteboard over and this is what I see…

1. 葛城

2. 雲雀

3. 飛鳥

4. 斑鳩

5. 炒飯

I’M FIRST!! I only know a couple of kanji, and it includes my name!! And what the fuck?!

I’M NOT JUST GOING TO TREMBLE IN ANGER ANYMORE!!!

It’s time to play ‘Kick the Doctor’!

“RRAAAARRR!!!”

I run up the Boobs-sensei and attempt a roundhouse kick at her. But she dodged and then with two fingers pressed my shoulder to the floor, and HOLY SHIT SHE’S NO JOKE!! I could only try to wriggle out of the pressure of her fingers.

Is she going to dislodge mu joint?! Her fingers feel like an anvil on my shoulder!

“I’m only doing this to help you…”

Huh? Help me, she can’t be serious.

I make a rather prideful expression to her, “EshishishishishishashahsahshashaSHAAAAA!!!! Bitch, I’m beyond help!”

She just breathes in and out, “Do you or do you not want to be a kunoichi?”

“Kunoichi? I’m just in this gig to become number one!! It’s just that prissy assholes like Ikaruga and Kiriya just can’t get enough of try to make me ‘proper’.”

“Look a friend of mine told me about you, and I’m really showing my concern for you here. Kiriya-san’s methods don’t seem to work for you so I’m stepping in. I can help you, but only if you can let me.”

“What make you say that you know?”

She then got up close to my ear and whispered, “Cha-Cha has Asperger’s. Let that sink in.”

Asperger’s? What the fuck is that?!

She let me go.

“Okay everyone here’s how this is going to work. I’ll call your name then I will close this sound-proof curtain around the depression to examine all of you one at a time. Although for first order of business, I need everyone to strip down to their underwear, okay?”

This might not be so bad after all, might as well wait on my tube until I’m in the curtain for the ‘Big Reveal’.

I took a good look at what everyone was wearing. Beachball (Asuka) was wearing under her kusari katabiri a set of green checkered panties, Pimples was wearing pink bloomers with bunnies on them, Princess was wearing a sarashi and fundoshi under her kusari katabira, and No-Fight was wearing purple trunks with monkeys on them.

No-Fight and Pimples had some pretty silly choices for underwear, although in the abs department…

DAMN CHĀHAN!!!! Your really have the muscles to prove your strength. I think only I top him, although Princess’s and Beachball’s are also nice.

“Katsuragi, could you please come up…”

Alright, I’ll play your game bitch. It’s not like you really can “help me”.

“…although could you bring your jacket along?”

I guess that I can, have no fucking idea why she wants it.

However, once I sat down on the exam table, I was soon to find out…

“HEY THAT’S MY STUFF YOU’RE SHAKING OUT!!!”

“I can’t help you if I don’t know you!”

She then threw it over the curtain. “Aha! Exhibit A!”

The first thing she grabbed was…

MY BLACK DILDO!!!

“Figured that you were masturbating earlier in the day, I smelled it when I pinned you down.”

“SO WHAT?! I do it mostly to wake myself up! And I’ve heard that breast play makes them bigger and prevents cancer!”

“I do know that, it’s not like they have nothing in those medical research articles and reports. I sometimes massage my boobs for that reason.”

REALLY?!

“Although it still stands to reason that you’re using a device that is not meant for reckless minors. And I’ve even read that these have gotten stuck in girls’ and women’s’ vaginas. Now onto Exhibit B!”

She puts it down and grabs, “How often do you use these?”

“Just when I’m in an artsy mood, I like to spray whatever pops into my mind and roll with it.”

She then smiles to take out her iPhone and I see on there, MY MONKEY QUEEN MURAL!!!

“I was passing by and it looked so pretty…”

Wait…

SOMEONE LIKES MY ART?!!!

“You’ll have to thank me, I used my status as a Saijōnin to convince nearby authorities to not get rid of it but try to preserve...”

Right there I squeezed Doctor Boobs as hard as I could!! Someone likes my art!! SOMEONE LIKE MY ART!!!!

And after all of this time of it being hated by the likes of Ikaruga, Kiriya, and such!

“Okay, I can tell that you’re really happy right now!! But could you like go for a second? There is more that needs to be said…”

Okay, what?

“Even though you’re a great artist indeed, vandalism is still vandalism…”

WHAT?!

“Now I’ll let this slide for now, but there should be an alternative to simply despoiling public property. Like maybe a canvas.”

CANVAS?!

“FUCK NO!!!! I paint too big for fucking small canvases! Why not get me some buildings to graffiti on?!!”

She sighed, “Moving on…”

She then instead of going to the pile, she reached towards my neck and…

“MY CANS…!!!”

“Exhibit C!! What kind of music do you listen to?”

Uhh? “Just what ever I hear on the street…”

I then see her just ditching the conversation and taking out the cartridge from my cans and then putting in some whatchamacallit that connected to her iPhone.

“I see that you have quite selection here. Most of these look to be in Eigo, and vary from the 70’s to current day. Not to mention there are multiple artists like Beastie Boys, Post Malone, Snoop Dogg, Jay-Z, 2Pac, Blue Swede, Eminem, Nas, Parliament, Jam project, Flow, and a couple of porn artists.”

What can I say? I’m a gal of many tastes.

“Can I tell you that I also listen to some of these artists too. Although did you hack to get these?”

“Only some of them…”

“Cha-Cha knows how to hack too, and I’m sure your own hacking skills can come in handy if applied properly.”

She put my cans down on the table with the cartridge in then grabbed, “Exhibit D!! This is one of my biggest concerns for you, taima can kill and last time I checked it’s strictly illegal to have possession of it, though I use it too but for medicinal purposes when treating my patients.”

“SO WHAT?!!! I’m the strongest enhancer in the class!! No cops gonna put me in the big house!! Not to mention they do bring on a good side when I’m not using my nen.”

“That’s why I’m going to help you, I didn’t smoke taima when I was your age but I did some questionable things. I definitely have grown a long way from that, and I feel you can too.”

Help me grow? “Eshishishishishishishi…. You don’t know what you’re fucking talking about! I’m better off dead than being ‘helped’, after all…”

I grab the bottom of my tube and throw it over for ‘THE BIG REVEAL!!!!!’

“I HAVE MY GUNS!!!!”

I then playfully grope them while smiling like a smug naked diva on her throne. I felt real good, after all I’m dominating in terms of attitude.

“Exhibit E and Exhibit A again! I’ve heard your quite a sexual harasser on the street and have at times hung out at brothels.”

“I only go there if I have enough money on me from pit pocketing. Though what’s exhibit E?”

She holds up a zakuro that I…

SSHHHHHIIIIIIITT!!!!

She must have grabbed it when I threw my tube over. “Where did you get this?”

“Grabbed it from some dude selling them, I even ate one on the way here.”

She then sighed, “You know what, since you’re topless and might have an STD let’s start the physical.”

“ARE GOING TO FUCKING PRICK ME!!!”

“Any bloodwork to discuss will be done later, now please get on the scale.”

She then directed me to a rather old scale that looked like the ones you saw in old movies.

“Please get on…”

I do as she says, she then plays with the masses on the scale to get my mass, “95 kg, and for your height…”

She then lifted a metal bar from the scale and gentle lowered it to the top of my skull, “165 cm, and for the other measurements…”

She then took out a tape measure and gently wrapped it around my boobs and back, then my waist, and my hips, “95 cm, 67 cm, and 90 cm.”

She then writes it all down on her clipboard.

I think it’s time for me now to get back on the exam table.

“Now for your blood pressure and pulse.”

She then pulled out, more doohickeys from up her dress (where the fuck does she keep all of that?).

Some sort of pump, something with a funnel on it, and what I think is a stethoscope…

Doctor Boobs hung the stethoscope around neck.

She wrapped some sort of cloth bag around my upper left arm and started pumping air into it while placing her fingers on my wrist.

I felt the pressure of the air squeeze my arm, it wasn’t anything like anvil fingers but I felt it. She paid close attention to the gauge and released the pressure little by little.

She then wrote on the clipboard more, “Your blood pressure seems fine, but it’s close to being unhealthy.”

She took the thing with a funnel and looked into my ears through it, “No feathers in your ear, right?”

“And what if I did?”

She then inhaled and then blew into, WHAO!!

That was a rush for my ear, I could hear Dr. Boobs giggling.

“WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT FOR?!”

“Sorry, I couldn’t help myself.”

“What kinda doctor are you anyway?”

“A private pediatric physician, Ph.D. in fact, I just like to play around and dote on my patients. Especially if they’re really cute!”

SO SHE’S A FUCKING KID DOCTOR!!! No wonder…

“I’m also a Ph.D. child psychologist, in which speaking of I think you might have a certain mental condition but I just need to perform this check-up to confirm.”

Mental Condition? WHAT THE FUCK IS SHE TALKING ABOUT?!!!!

“By the way…”

She then puts the earpieces of her stethoscope into her ears and pressed the cold circular metal thing on my left boob.

“Could you tell me about your parents?”

“LIKE FUCK I KNOW!!! They threw me out on the streets when I was 4…”

She suddenly, hugged me?!

“You poor thing!”

You know I gotta say, she does know how to hug.

She then writes something else down and then moved the stethoscope to my back, “Now I want you to breath in and out for me, but be sure to do it slowly and deeply.”

I do as she says, she moved the stethoscope around but at the same time always stopping to listen to something, she also did the same for around my boobs, chest, neck, and lower abdomen.

“Okay now I want you to do 15 jumping jacks.”

“How about I do 60 one-armed standing push-ups instead?!”

I do what I said.

“Okay, not we’re over that excitement I’ll listen to your heart and breathing again.”

So that’s what she’s doing. After that’s all said and done, she then feels my neck up and then places both hands on each side, “Swallow for me…”

I do as she says, Dr. Boobs then wrote some more on her clipboard. She then breathed on the round thing of her stethoscope.

“Now, Monkey, please lie for down me.”

Monkey? No one’s really called me that before.

She then pressed the stethoscope into my tummy and moved it around.

It kinda tickled, I couldn’t stop twitching.

“Uh-Oh…”

I see that Dr. Boobs is making a goofy grin and giggling, “Should we skip to the reflex test?”

No…!

NO…!

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NNOOOOO!!!

FUUUUUUCK DON’T DO IT!!!

But she didn’t listen, she started to dig her fingers into my tummy and I was in hysterics and squirming, she soon moved all around my body tickling me silly.

I think I know now of how Cha-Cha is so weird.

“Now to finish it all off you naughty naughty little monkey!”

WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU GOING TO DO?!!

I could feel my bellybutton being teasingly circled by Dr. Boobs’ finger, as it got closer and closer I couldn’t help but feel a sense of dread. That was my worse spot and also my favorite part of my body, well besides my boobs.

PLEASE!!!

KEEP OUT OF MY BEAUTYHOLE YOU CRAZY BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But then she plunged her finger into my beauty hole and…

It killed me. I just had no control over myself, I was only cackling, bucking, squirming, mewling, screaming, tears were streaming down my face and I had also wet my panties as I felt hot inside feeling nothing but pleasure from my head to my toes.

When Dr. Boobs was done, I just plopped dead on the table, letting out drunken giggles and smiling from ear to ear from the experience of my knot being molested by a woman probably around Kiriya’s age. Well at least she was nice enough to take my panties off and clean me up. “You sure are one hairy monkey!”

She then wrapped me in a warm and snuggly blanket, “You seem too tired to continue, how about we finish up when you wake up? Okay?”

I just nod slowly as I close my eyes and start to dose off to sleep, although I felt Dr. Boobs gently pick me up and carry me.

You know, I’m now starting to wish that she’s my Haha. It would at least be better to have someone to come to who would at least not dump ya on the street than living alone on the street.