I’ll Sleep on It

“Dating? Ha! The only things I love fit in this ten square meter space around me. If it’s not within arm’s reach, I couldn’t care less!”

Walls lined with decorative posters of film and anime. Complex science and engineering textbooks stacked haphazardly upon shelves. The latest entertainment system, complete with virtual headset and cameras. A lone guitar sitting in its stand.

It was the result of someone spending far too much time in his own room, but Haru wouldn’t be labeled with such terms as ‘social outcast’. He held a certain pride at being highly functioning when he wanted to.

This moment was not one of them. Sprawled lazily on a fluffy bed and too unmotivated to do much of anything, a phone in his hand rested right by his ear.

“That’s what you say every time a girl comes up to you! You’ve got to live a little, Harucchi. It’s not like you don’t have redeeming qualities. Can’t wait for your dream girl to just pop out of existence.”

“I just value certain things a bit more. I go to school, hang out with you and Daichi, and-“

“And get home before 9pm and sleep, right?”

Haru eyed the clock on his bedside table – 8:50 pm.

“What am I supposed to do? You have your band practice, wooing all the chicks. Daichi has to get up early for soccer so he can flex. It’s… just so boring at home.”

“The problem of a kid with bigshot parents in the world – never enough things to satisfy you. Money can only get you so far…”

Haru sat up to jokingly throw his phone at the wall but stopped. He hated when his friends could read him better than himself.

“Anyways, if you’re reaaaally that bored, you could always play guitar for me. I can manage to cover your ass with some sweet bass riffs. I know you don’t like playing second fiddle. Daichi asked you to join the team, but you weren’t satisfied with just defending.”

“I’ll sleep on it.”

“That’s for certain. Night, Harucchi.”

The phone clicked and fell silent. Haru rubbed his face and set it down. 8:55 – still five minutes shy of his earliest sleep time. Not that he couldn’t simply plop down and fall to sleep immediately. The drowsiness was already calling out to him. But he had been told time and time again that he was wasting his youth by sleeping more than nine hours a day, so he set himself a limit.

“A waste of time…”

He stared down at the slip of paper on his desk. At the top was his name – Haru Higashi. He scoffed at the sparse lines and boxes that were supposed to determine his fate. “Career Consultation” and the blank entries gnawed at him, like the homeroom teacher that would soon pester him for those answers.

He turned and laughed it off like it was some joke. With parents like his, there was no doubt that he would be pushed into the same field of study. Just like his friend Koichi had said, his parents were some tech hotshots that rarely came home. And if they did, it would be the wee hours of the night, when he was deep asleep.

Even with no supervision to dictate his studies, there was something else that always kept him in line – the fancy platinum rewards card that funded his little whims.

He had foolishly promised in his younger days that he would excel in his studies and work towards their careers in science and engineering, all to get them to part with the shiny card that would grant him endless access to wonders.

Obviously, he held the morality to not go overboard with his spending, but it was no wonder that his friends treated him like some wealthy kid because of that. He made good on his promises to his parents though. Otherwise, he would lose the comfort of doing whatever he pleased on the side.

But because of that, he only saw one path forward – become a clone of his parents to salvage such an existence. How could he be possibly motivated to put down his future dreams when that seemed like an empty gesture due to his own selfishness?

His eyes darted to the clock once again – 9:03.

“Alright, I’ll just deal with it tomorrow.”

Sleeping on it was just his excuse of delaying what needed to happen.

But then again, Haru simply felt more value in getting his rest in.

#####

Dreams are better than reality.

That was what Haru thought as he opened his eyes next. His mind was a sponge that soaked up everything that he experienced, and that became obvious whenever he travelled to dreamland.

But in dreams, he was wrapped around the ideal, willingly choosing to not carry the bad.

If he had played a game recently, then he was the overpowered hero that enjoyed what that fantasy had to offer.

If he nodded off with a guitar in his hand, then he would wake up to a concert venue of fans surrounding him.

A whole futuristic city came along with him and was left to operate on its own.

Viral internet memes rented space in his mind and changed with each new iteration.

It was no wonder that he found comfort here, rather than reality. Everything went according to plan. Everything was as expected.

But as he gazed upon the wonders of his dreamscape, something gnawed at him. Something felt missing.

Was it the fact that his time here was temporary? That the lie of this existence would disappear with each sunrise. Or did reality start to weigh so heavily upon him that it was now affecting even his dreams?

Regardless, he could see the color draining around him. The pressure of submitting to black or white, the sacrifice of impractical options as one marched into adulthood – the color bled from him because of it. He knew that his playtime wouldn’t last for much longer.

He lavished in his various interests as best he could. But now, he would have to settle – settle and become dull like his parents.

Suddenly, Haru caught the sound of gentle humming, along with something flapping in the wind. That was so peculiar that he became distracted by it. He looked up to find a girl with wings dancing upon the clouds.

His first thought was that she was gorgeous. But then, his reasoning kicked in.

Of course, she would be. This is a dream after all. A beautiful dream.

There was no rhyme or reason for what appeared at times. Haru just nodded and thought this was one of them.

But seriously, a girl who thinks she’s Mary Poppins. Wait, does thinking that make me seem like a boomer?

That couldn’t be it. His subconscious likely came from something more recent. Yet, he couldn’t recall anything-

He smacked his hands together in realization.

Oh right, game trailer with the floaty chick. Came from a dress-up gacha or something. Yeah, that must be it!

Sure enough, the mysterious girl demonstrated platforming skills on top of the clouds like her graceful movements had been programmed perfection.

Still… the clothing she wore felt like an eclectic choice. It was enough to make him ponder and wait to see what would happen.

The girl landed gently upon the ground with a smug pose, as if requesting for praise upon her arrival. Haru sneered at her childish feat and did the opposite.

“Who the heck are you supposed to be?”

If he sounded mean, it was only because tiptoeing around an imaginary person in his dream felt silly. It was better to get right to it.

All smiles, the girl responded.

“I’m a dream fairy. A wanderer of beautiful dreams. What more do you need to know?”

Series name? Special skills? How about ultimate attacks? Or is all that just so you can look pretty? Please tell me Piziv wasn’t the last place I saw you...

His instincts cut him off from saying that and more. Instead…

“Got a name attached to that title, Miss Dream Invader?”

The girl before him fumbled for a moment, as if his words had thrown her for a loop. How an imaginary person could feign being stumped eluded him. She was already more complicated than a cardboard waifu. It made Haru wonder how many brain cells he lost dreaming her up, while the girl took her time to gaze up at the clouds before giving him an answer.

“Grace. My name is Grace.”

Haru chuckled. “Had to think a bit to come up with that one, didn’t you?”

A blush crept onto Grace’s face. And for the first time, it looked like she was actually offended.

“Well, I think it suits me!”

“Alright, alright! No need to ruffle your… wings. I can be a bit nicer, the proper gentlemen if need be. So, what have I done for you to grace me with your presence?”

The last thing Haru needed was a dream morphing into a nightmare. He blamed all the ‘-deres’, especially the ‘yans’ for that.

“I found myself here when I woke up, and… I just… wanted to meet you.”

A moment of silence passed as Haru waited for a follow-up. Then, that silence grew awkward.

“That’s it?”

“Were you expecting something more?”

“So… I just wasted a few hours of REM sleep for a quick ‘Hi!’? Not even a nice, little wish granted? Or even a shiny five-hundred-yen coin for the arcade?” Haru threw up his arms dramatically and circled around her, giving her the side eye.

“What kind of fairy do you think I am?!” Grace retorted, holding up her umbrella as if to swat him in annoyance.

Haru suddenly leaned back, out of range, and chuckled.

“One that is obviously fun to tease.”

Grace’s umbrella slowly fell back from its defensive position. Realizing that Haru had been messing with her all along, she sighed. But then, her head cocked to the side.

“Hey… you’re not looking so gray like you were before.”

Haru looked down at himself. A tinge of color had returned around him. He shrugged it off like it was a fluke.

“Ah, that. Happens all the time. That just means talking with you has been just a bit entertaining. A moment to escape from the doldrums that I call real life.”

It wasn’t uncommon for Haru to begin a dream in a state devoid of color. It was like living was starting to suck all the life out of him, leaving the fun of imagination as a coping mechanism. Here, he didn’t have to worry about consequences. Every choice was the right one, even if it ended in a horrible nightmare. At the very least, he felt more alive in the process.

“You mean, I did that for you? Yay!”

Grace’s expression immediately turned giddy as she danced around in celebration. Apparently, Haru’s imagination couldn’t register sarcasm currently, but he shrugged it off and pressed forward. What was the worst that could happen?

“Hey, Miss Dream Fairy. Your job’s not done yet, right? Before you start parading around, what other things can you do to take my weary dreary away?”

“What would you have me do?” Grace slowed to a halt, eyes innocent like a child.

Given such a pure expression, Haru immediately crossed off a few things that felt criminal. His conscience wouldn’t allow for him to go too far, even if it was a dream. He also wasn’t quite in the mood for any guilty pleasures. So instead…

“Surprise me. Do some fairy stuff that only you can do.”

Haru flaunted his hands on his hips, wondering what his imagination would improvise. He eagerly awaited what kind of desire would unfold before him.

“Okay. Then, up we go!”

Before Haru could react, Grace had grabbed his arm and dragged him up into the sky. His eyes swam as distance formed between the ground and him.

“W-Wait! I’m afraid of heights!”

“Too late to tell me that!” Grace yelled without turning back. She had already started leaping from cloud to cloud. Haru flapped in the air like a wet towel held only by the grip of her hand against his.

Haru hated this type of dream – the ones where he floated up like there was no gravity. He preferred to be grounded, rather than continuing to rise where there was no ceiling.

But even as his heart skipped several beats at liftoff, something felt different than normal.

His teeth didn’t chatter from the cold altitude. He didn’t hyperventilate from the thinner air. His body didn’t lock up at the prospect of falling. All he felt was a warmth from his hand.

He looked up towards Grace, who merrily bounced from cloud to cloud, just like when he first saw her. Surely, not a hint of worry that he possessed claimed her. She could dance upon clouds while ignoring the weight of the world.

Finally, Haru realized what the difference was – he was not alone this time. If Grace could have so much fun simply leaping through the sky, then why couldn’t he? He had thought her up, hadn’t he? She was what he wanted to be – free and unrestrained.

“Pfft.”

“Did you say something back there?” Grace turned back to check on him.

“No, it’s nothing. You look like you’re having fun.”

“Of course, I am. It’s not often that you see a beautiful world such as this.”

“Beautiful, you say? I mean, I guess it is. It’s everything that I wish for that I can’t have.”

“You wish to have me?” Grace gave him a questioning look.

Haru’s eyes narrowed. He followed up with a tone feigning seriousness.

“If you are my idea of a dream girl… then I’m utterly screwed.”

“That’s it. I’m dropping you.”

“Hah, joke’s on you. This is my dream- huh?”

Grace became smaller and smaller in his vision. So much for floating if she let go. He had banked hard on that outcome and lost the gamble.

Now, he was falling like a rock… or rather, something that would normally happen in reality.

“AH, DAMMIT! I forgot that this is what happens when I lucid dream!”

Lucid dreams were nice since Haru had a sense of awareness and control over his situation. However, there was one thing that he lost in exchange for that – the ability to reject fundamental concepts that were second nature.

“Oh, shiiiiiit!!! Dammmmn youuuu, gravityyyyyyy!!!”

The ground grew closer as the seconds passed, until finally, he painfully collided into the hard earth.

“ARRRGGHH!!!”

The roughness of carpet skidded across his face. His eyes popped open and off to the side and up. His clock read 5:45am. He was back in his room, falling hard enough out of his dream to tumble right out of bed.

Slowly, his heart stopped pounding. Slowly, he got the urge to sit up. And ever so slowly, he got ready for a new day.