The Meeting

Every day is awful, I get in at 8 am, I leave at 8 pm I go home and just read the latest headlines about how things are wrong and I can't stand feeling alone. I don't even like the news or social media but riding on the train for 20 minutes in the morning there's not really anything better to do. I just turn on music and try to zone out and not think about the day of work that is about to begin. Sometimes I just let the music play in my headphones and I'll look around the train and just see what other people are doing. That man over there who is balding, maybe he's married with kids, maybe he's a good dad who is there for all the sports games and music performances. That guy over there who is smiling at his phone and has friends to talk to and is planning to meet up with them after work for drinks. That woman there with a head full of gray hair and maybe has lost her husband and has kids who don't talk to her. Sometimes I see a woman who is so beautiful that I imagine a whole life with her, and how happy I would be if I just didn't feel like I was alone.

Today was one of those days. She had this long silky brown hair that when the sun hits it, it looks almost red and one of those cute beauty marks to the lower left of her mouth. I imagine just walking around in the park and I would make a dumb joke and she would laugh about it. Maybe we would get coffee together and I would listen to her talk about her day and she would tell me the gossip about her work. Maybe I could play video games on the couch and she would watch and be impressed. But that's all really silly, it would never happen. I've been alive for 25 years and no one has taken an interest in me like that. Thinking about us together and imaging it gets me through the day sometimes. I try not to stare, I try to just take a quick glimpse and pretend my eyes are like a camera and I save what she looks like in my mind. But almost immediately after when I try to recall the details of her eyes and mouth it's just gone. I'd feel just too weird if I were to break out a real camera, but something about her makes me feel like we're supposed to be together.

I look up again at her trying to not be noticed when I see a guy getting close to her and whispering to her, with one of those menacing grins and I can tell she's uncomfortable. I look around in the train car and everyone is keeping their head down. I read somewhere that the more people that witness a crime the less likely someone will do something about it. I nervously plan what I could even do. This guy is like 5 inches taller than me and could definitely beat me in a fight not that it would even lead to that. I know when I get scared my voice tends to crack and I would not be intimidating at all. Okay, maybe what I should do instead is talk to her directly and just pretend I know her, I was pretending that anyways, like maybe I say 'oh hey, I didn't see you at first, are we still on for tomorrow?' no that's dumb, maybe we have a nickname we call each other? 'Hey Goober, Are you still going to Mike's party?' I feel like time is running out so I just start walking to her and then I say "Hey Goober!" as I wave to her. I feel awkward as I notice other people staring at me breaking the relative silence on the train. She looks at me and her eyes light up and she responds "Hey String bean!" As I get closer to her I can tell the other man looks disgusted.

"Are you going to Mike's party?"
"Yeah, that's tonight right?"
"Yeah, I know he never brings enough beer for everyone"
"I was actually going to stop by to pick some up"

We were getting close to a stop and the man made a grimace as it looked like we were going to leave soon. I could just feel like he was going to try to grab her. So I beat him to it and just grabbed her hand.

"Actually I know a local shop nearby that sells the fancy stuff, let's go there!" I say to her nervously. There's no way that man buys this.

She goes along with it and gets up from her train seat and we quickly leave the train. We leave with the crowd and we leave that man behind. We walk a little further out of the train station.

"Hey thanks, he was bothering me, but I probably would have been fine"
"I just was worried something would happen like he would grab you, I don't know"
"Yeah lucky for you, I'm just one stop from where I need to be anyways"
"Do you want to walk?" It was getting a little late. Maybe I could ask for her number, maybe that's too forward. I try to act as cool as I can. She's looking at me pensively, looking like she's trying to figure out if I'm a creep just like the guy on the train.
"Hm okay, but first what's your name?" she asks like she's interrogating me. I break out my Driver's License and hold it out to her.
"My name is John Rainsworth, I'm 25 years old, and I swear I'm normal" I feel awful and nervous. Luckily she laughs.
"You can put that away, you can call me Jessica"
She starts walking and I follow her.
"Yeah I just didn't want you to think I'm a creep or anything"
"Why Goober?" She seemed to ignore my comment, which is probably for the best anyways.
"It was the first thing I could think of, I just wanted it to seem like we were close friends."
"I like that nickname, you're a bit weird though" My heart it shot a bit as I try to laugh it off
"I'm weird too, don't worry" she tries to reassure me "I've been playing Persona 5 lately"
"I love that game!" Maybe she's a otaku like me and we can talk about nerd stuff and I'll finally have a friend.
"Yeah, Ryuuji is my favorite, he's the best boy." We take a left on the street before we stop.
"Well sorry to cut it short here, this is where I live" she points to a large apartment complex. My mind begins to race, do I ask for her number or do I say anything, will she think I'm weird, like weirder than I actually am?
"Do-Do you want to hang out sometime?" I stutter and and stumble over my words. She looks me over a couple of times.
"I'll give you my number - " my eyes dilate and I can't believe what I am hearing. "- but I will message you first if I want to hang out. Don't spam me with messages. I'm not the best about responding anyways." She sort of shrugs when she says this. I fumble in my pocket for my phone. I unlock it and hand it to her. She pushes on some buttons on the screen and hands it back.
"I'll let you know when I'm free, bye" and she walks into her apartment. She just seemed very abrupt but this was fine to me, it had been a long time that I talked to someone outside of work that I would accept anything. I looked into my contacts and scrolled to find her contact information. Towards the beginning, simply the name Goober.