April 4th (Part 1)

“Oi Neil, check this out.” I heard a whisper from behind my desk. I decided to pointedly ignore it. The fact that I sat at the window side second to last desk only meant that the teachers would usually have a hawk-eyed glanced readied at that side of the room.

“The amount of charge we need to use for Millikan’s oil drop experiment is clearly specified in figure 28 on page 26. I know you all already know what I am about to say but let me read out the definition anyway. Can’t have you students biting my ass later on.” The rather grating voice of Mr. Patrick Ray sounded dull and utterly drab of any emotion. Physics would be as boring as ever I suppose. I jotted down what he said anyway.

“Pssssh, Neil!” I felt a kick in my shin suddenly and jumped instinctively. Mr. Ray looked at me funny but continued with his lessons. I sighed and decided to look back. Hazel Light stared at me with dark blue eyes dancing with mischief. She pointed at the desk furthest from us. Near the door that led to the busy hallways of Copperstown High School was the new transfer student.

“What’s her deal anyway? She hasn’t said a word since the first period. One of those loner types maybe? I can’t imagine it though.” She continued as I decided to stop staring. There was no reason to be branded a pervert right after spring break. Not that my reputation was very good anyway, no thanks to the person sitting behind me.

“Not interested. Leave me alone.” I snapped back in an attempt to shut her down.

“Scared to fall in love, Grayson?” An unsuccessful attempt.

“Scared to play your games rather.” The morning sun hit me in its full intensity as the hazy clouds subsided ever so slightly. It was a rather humid day despite the overcast weather. The droning voice of Mr. Ray mixed with the whispers and light talking of the class created an atmosphere you could drown in.

“Miss Hoover, perhaps you could tell all the students-” Suddenly a change in tone. Ah, it was one of those days. I looked back at Hazel and she grimaced. “-how the Millikan experiment is useful for any number of the more interesting experiments; since I can see that you are knowledgeable enough to sleep your way through the class.” He stood there beside her desk as she slowly raised her head and looked at him. Her hair was a violent red. Short, messy and curled to the right obscuring a side of her face. I couldn’t quite see it from a distance but she seemed completely nonplussed by all of it.

“Well?” The man asked again. His calm demeanour hiding a raging storm brewing underneath. We had been subjected to these ‘episodes’ of his before. It wasn’t common, but not rare enough for the student body in collective to not be prepared to buckle up for a long while. Turns out when it’s subjected to a single person, the supposed unity we liked to taut dispersed into silver feathers in the wind. No one to protest, no one to hold their ground. But she didn’t know that, did she?

“I don’t know.” Her voice rang out. Louder than ever in that pin-drop silence. “I am sorry.”

There were stories about Patrick Ray. Quiet whispers and anecdotes of why he was the way he was. It wasn’t pretty.

“Sorry… Lily Hoover, is it? On your first day at this fine establishment, you ended up sleeping through an entire class and had the audacity to say you are sorry?” Patrick Ray burst out laughing. It was a hollow laugh. It was a cruel laugh.

Childhood trauma? Parental abuse? A cruel household? Maybe it was one of them. Maybe it was all of them. None of it justified the person he sometimes became. It didn’t even come close to the cruelty he was capable of showing.

“I am sorry teach-” He shoved her down into the desk. A dull thud echoed through the room as she slammed into the hard wood without any resistance. She curled up, docile but expressionless as the man slammed his hands on the desk. No one jumped at its suddenness.

“My name is Patrick Ray and you would do well to remember that lady. I have seen all the records from your previous school. Abhorrent communication skills, little shame and regret for your actions, a frankly pathetic academia. What do you even have going for you beyond that pretty face? Oh, I wouldn’t put it past you to pursue a career in those unspoken paths of life. But I digress.”

It was just the start however. Mr. Ray would continue to tear her apart, word for word, piece by piece until he made her a laughing stock. A wall everyone was allowed to piss on. It happened last year with Lucia Coulson. It will happen this year too. At Least it wasn’t me. Selfish thoughts bounded freely in my head. I was one of those silver feathers after all. I did worry however. I worried for the ball of emotions sitting behind me ready to let it burst at any moment.

“Mr. Ray!” Ah, she was always like that. Always the one to play the hero. “I think I feel funny… Can I go to the infirmary?” She was brave. I admired her sheer resolve. I admired the ferocity at which she charged into the lion’s den. But I could never be the one to stand beside her because of it. I was a coward after all.

The man stared at her for a moment. He regained his composure rather quickly however. “Fine. Go. Whoever’s in charge today takes her there.” Hazel turned to me and smiled and then rushed along to the hallway. No one had gotten out of their seats yet. “Who’s in charge today?” Mr. Ray said aloud again.

“It’s her.” Someone shouted. Everyone stayed silent. We all knew who it was.

“Get out of my sight.” Patrick Ray whispered and Hazel took her hands as she rushed out of the class. It looked pathetic. Like a lifeless corpse being dragged outside. Like she was the one being taken to the infirmary instead. The silence persisted in the class until the period bell rang a few moments later and Mr. Ray walked out. A look of disgust on his face.

A collective sighed echoed through the class and the oppressive atmosphere that had taken hold fizzled out into a melancholic hum. That hum turned into a heartbeat. A beating drum pounding into every single person who the scapegoat of this year would be. It happened in whispered conversations and gestures but the cycle had already started. I quietly took Hazel’s bag and mine in hand as I slipped out of class.

I climbed down the two sets of stairs, down to the first floor and briskly jogged towards the library. I slowed down near the door and peeked inside. As far as high schools go, our library was pretty big. It was a separate building attached on every floor to the main school building after all. I guess even by normal standards, it was unconventionally big. It did mean that a lot of people getting away were to be found here- sitting behind the bookshelves and tables spread out throughout its three floors. Why was I on the first floor? Well…

“Look who’s here after all.” A raspy voice called out from behind the librarian’s desk. “I was sure you wouldn’t dare show your face here again after last time’s fiasco.”

“I never did get the memo that it meant an indefinite ban.” I retorted.

“Whatever. Just don’t get me wrapped up in your nonsense again.” She dropped her eyes to the book laying on her lap again. “They are on the other side of the aisle.” She continued without looking up.

“You look good today Frazer.” Her eyes ticked for just a sec. I smiled. “Good seeing you.”

“Yeah.” Jes replied, almost mechanically. “You too.” It was sincere though.

I walked around the fallen books on the ground and research paper strewn tables to find Hazel sitting near the windows. What surprised me however was the person sitting beside her. Or rather, was it the same person at all?