Nightmares of the Past - Part 1

This all started during my first year in college. With an unfruitful high school behind me, I finally decided to open up more during college. At the very least, that was my plan. It all started on the eve of our orientation day.

The class representative of the major I was in sent out invitations to the first-year students in our class. We met in a restaurant for dinner, but it was all just a front. Everyone knew, yet they still attended it. As for me, my naive self thought that going would be essential for me to experience what they called "Spring of Youth".

"Cheers!" The class representative stood up and held his pint of beer.

As he held it up, the rest of us followed as we started the main agenda for the night.

"So Tobe, which high school did you come from?" the guy beside me asked out of nowhere.

"Oh, I came from Kaisei," I replied.

My answer turned other people's heads as if they heard something significant.

"Oh, you mean that elite high school?" another interjected.

"That's like, crazy right?" another affirmed.

"Isn't that an all-boys school?" someone else asked.

After hearing which high school I was from, question after question was raised towards me. That is when the class representative stepped in.

"Okay, everyone! Do not bombard him with too many questions, will you?" he interrupted their questions. "Sorry about that, Tobe; they don't mean any harm," he added.

"Nah, it's okay. I'm quite used to it by now," I politely replied.

That's to be expected. After all, entering Kaisei Academy, the high school I was from, is a huge deal for everyone. Only intelligent people can get in, and it is considered one of the elite high schools in Japan alongside Nada. These kinds of remarks are nothing new for me, as every time I mention where I came from gives me the same reaction. If one were to react differently, they're either from the same boat as me or don't care.

"I'll just step out a bit. I need to answer my phone." I made up an excuse.

"Oh, okay. No worries, I'll save your seat for you." the class representative replied.

As I got up from my seat, the people at the dinner started talking again. Yes, the primary purpose of this dinner is the same as a mixer. The seats were arranged, separating the guys from the girls so we could face them from where we were seated.

As I stepped out, the night was already cold as the season started transitioning from Winter to Spring. The excuse I made up was to take a breather and recollect how I should approach this evening. I pulled out a stick of a cigarette hidden in my pocket to warm myself up. As I looked for my lighter in my pocket, I realized I had forgotten to bring it.

"You need this one?" A sudden voice from a girl reached me on my left side, catching me off guard.

"Oh, thanks for this." I reached out for the lighter and lit my cigarette with it.

When I was about to return the lighter, I saw the person who gave it to me. It was the girl sitting across from where I was seated. A girl with black, straight, long hair whose skin is as light as snow and rosy lips. Truly the definition of a yamato nadeshiko - the ideal Japanese woman. I froze up and felt that my heart started beating loud. That's when I realized that I fell in love at first sight. A feeling that I wished to go back in and redo all over again. A decision that I wish I did not make. A regret that keeps haunting me up until today. This is the night I hope I never left my comfort zone and stayed alone, away from others.

"Are you free after this?" my naive past self asked her.