Prologue

The rain poured down relentlessly. It fell like icy daggers from the sky, slowly leeching the warmth from my mother's hands as she held my sister and me close. I could see the pain etched into her face as she watched the line of soldiers, battered and broken from the horrors of war.

Amid the desolation, a glimmer of hope emerged when a soldier broke free from the ranks and ran toward the girl he loved. Separated families rejoiced as they tearfully embraced, their hearts overflowing with longing and relief after years of separation. It was a beautiful scene, one that filled me with a sense of warmth and renewed hope.

In a moment of innocent curiosity, I turned to my mother and posed a question that lingered in my mind, "Mama, will Celli finally get to meet Papa soon?"

My mother's lips remained sealed, her expression fraught with worry as she desperately searched for any sign of my father among the passing soldiers. However, even after hundreds of soldiers had passed by, in the end, my mother and a few other women were left to swallow the bitter truth.

Their loved one didn't come home.

My mother's voice trembled as she whispered, "No... Abbie... W-Why... you promised me..." Her voice trailed off, the weight of disappointment and despair hanging heavily in the air. It was then that a man in a military uniform, his eyes hidden beneath a tight hat, approached my mother with a solemn expression.

"Nyght," the man said slowly.

"Master Noctis... Where is my husband?" Mama asked.

His mouth quivered as he struggled to find the right words to deliver the devastating news. Finally, all he could do was offer my mother a brownish handkerchief, upon which my father's name was delicately embroidered.

"Lord Abbhiraka... He sacrificed himself to protect us from The Ultima Eden. The wall he erected around Hilfheim shielded us, allowing us all to return home safely... He died as a hero," the soldier spoke, his voice weighed down by sorrow.

"I don't care about that! Please, just give my husband back! "

The man bowed deeply to my Mother, "I'm sorry...! I-I can't lie to you. The truth is, Ultima Eden overwhelmed us! We got no chance to defend. He's not a hero! He's not sacrificing himself for us! We left him alone! We ordered him to die, so we could live a little longer! ... Please, forgive me, Nyght," he begged for my mother's forgiveness.

My mother's anguish erupted in a heart-wrenching cry as she collapsed to her knees in the rain, her screams piercing the sky. "Why... What do we gain from this war? To fight for a single throne? EDEN, ANSWER ME!!"

At that moment, the strong and resilient mother figure we had always admired crumbled beneath the weight of her grief. My sister tried to comfort her, wrapping her arms around Mama and offering words of solace, but it was no use. The pain was too great, and no amount of comfort could mend the broken pieces of her heart. Broken glass cannot be put back together. What is lost cannot be returned.

I was taken aback at the breakdown Mother had, wondering why did this happen? Why could happiness suddenly disappear?

Even after reading countless old newspapers and books, I found no answers. "To fight over one throne!" With that exclamation suddenly, Ultima Eden, the Goddess of Order, the mightiest deity on Earth, had declared war against all other gods. Within a matter of weeks, half of the Earth was transformed into a scorching hell, with Ultima Eden conquering the domains of countless gods. She had shattered a thousand years of peace and prosperity, leaving only horror and destruction in her wake.

In response, the elder gods joined forces, forming a coalition known as The Company. However, in a cruel twist of fate, they were mercilessly murdered by a nameless god who seized their domains for his wicked desires. This god proclaimed himself as The Savage God, spreading his ideology of Mutual Assured Destruction throughout the world. He harnessed forbidden technology, unleashing deadly plagues and creating monstrous creatures known as Anima, which devoured lives and left nothing but chaos and despair in their wake. He transformed his subjects into soulless puppets, bent on spreading chaos throughout the world.

In this selfish war, there could be no victor. But why did the mighty gods continue to fight? Why did they ignore the cries and pleas of their suffering subjects? Had Ultima Eden and the Savage God forsaken the world? Or were they simply bored with their unchanging realm?

"Chaos and Order... don't mess with me," Mama clenched her fist.

Suddenly, my mother enveloped us in a tight embrace, her voice filled with determination as she whispered, "Never again. I will not let anyone take my family away from me."

She gazed at us with fiery determination in her eyes. "Cleo, Celli. As long we're together, we will survive, no matter what happens. Will you fight with Mama, together?"

Cleo, my sister nodded, "Yes, Mama. Cleo will do her best. Cleo will be so strong that Cleo can protect us."

Yet despite their determination, I could only feel fear inside my chest. Become strong? Survive? What did they talk about?

"N-No, I don't wanna," I pushed them back and clutch to my dress, "I-It's impossible! C-Celli is scared…! C-Celli–"

The disappointment in their eyes stopped me. I knew they expected me to agree with them, but they were just delusional! We were just rural gods, trying our best to protect our few believers. How can we hope to defeat the might of Ultima Eden and the Savage God?

Mama's hands trembled slightly as she reached out to hold mine. Her touch lacked the warmth and reassurance I had come to rely on. "Celli," she began, "I understand that you're scared, but we can't give in to our fears. This war has taken so much from us already, and if we surrender to our fear, we'll lose everything."

I protested, "No, Mama don't understand!… Celli wants to be brave but Celli hates fighting and hurting someone! Celli just wants to live in peace with everyone."

"You're always been a kind child. Too kind," Mama sighed deeply, her gaze distant and filled with a tinge of resignation. She let go of my hand and said, "But kindness isn't enough to protect what's important in your life. I had hoped that we could stand united as a family, but if you're not willing to fight, if you can't find the strength within you, then I don't understand how you could struggle in this life and find peace.

This world is cruel for the weak, Celli."

Her words pierced through my heart, and I felt a profound sense of guilt for disappointing her. The weight of her expectations and the gravity of the situation seemed to crush me.

Tears welled up in my eyes as I choked back my voice, barely managing to whisper, "I'm sorry, Mama. I'm so sorry…!"

I tried to reach her hand again, but suddenly guilt chained my hand down. As tears streamed down my face, I watched my mother walk away with Cleo. It was then the realization that took me by storm. I wiped away my tears and called out to them, "Wait! Mama, Cleo, please wait!"

But they didn't stop, leaving me alone. I look at my trembling hand and cried so hard, realizing the price of cowardice that I mistook it as freedom.

That day I wasn't just lost, my father. That day, I lost my place in my family too.