Morning Walk

"I'm tired of all this", I said as I pushed the buttons in my joystick aggressively. I had been stuck at home for two years. It's my fault for being a scaredy cat and I blame no one. As I was about to finish the game, I heard my mom calling me, "Dinner's ready, Haru-chan". I had lost my sense of time and day. The only time my parents called me was when it was time to eat. Breakfast, lunch, snacks, and dinner. Every day they called me for food but they never asked anything and I didn't have anything to say to them too.

        I didn't want to keep my mom waiting so I went down for dinner. We never missed family dinners. I sat down on the chair, picked up my chopsticks, and started eating whatever was on my table.

"Son, I know we don't say anything to you at all. But…this lifestyle isn't healthy. I've been trying to avoid talking about this, thinking that maybe you'd come to terms with yourself", my dad said, almost crying.

"I can't, Dad", I said.

"You've shut yourself in ever since high school graduation. It's been two years, Haruki. We're not asking you to go to work or anything. You're our only son. We don't mind looking after you forever. As long as we're alive. But what if we die suddenly, what will happen to you?", Dad said again, with tears in his eyes.

I'm sure my relatives must've commented some harsh words to my parents. I know how my relatives are. I'm the only son and my dad is the eldest. All of my cousins are girls. The family sees me as the only hope and also as the only failure. I thought about such things too. I'm already a failure in life I don't have a job. I thought about how they would react if they found out that I'm gay. My relatives will laugh at me. My parents might disown me.

"What if I die before you guys? Would that make you happy?", I asked them. I was waiting for my dad to slap me. I knew my parents well and they never allowed me to say such things.

As I had thought. I was slapped not by my Dad but by my mom. She cried. And sat on the ground. "Don't say such depressing things. If you die before us, we would have no reason to live anymore", mother said, between sobs.

"I don't want to live like this too. Mom, Dad, please save me", it was the first time I cried for help.

"So, you do have a spirit to live? I'm glad, son", my dad said, smiling. I nodded in response.

"Alright. I have made a plan. So we could spend time every day", said Dad, enthusiastically, after some minutes. I nodded again. I would do anything to make my life better.

The plan was this:

Morning Walk at 5:30 a.m. Breakfast together. Then, by the time Dad would come home, I had to help my mom make dinner. Dinner together and lastly, a family movie.

I was glad it didn't include any psychiatrist visits or something. I wasn't ready to talk about my problems to anyone. My parents were making an effort and I respected that.

         After dinner was over. I went to my room and saw that I had left the game running. And I died and respawned many times. I found angry messages from my teammates. I pulled the cord and switch the lights off. I retired to my bed.

           It was 5:15 am when I heard my mom knocking on my door. I woke up. "Get ready, we're going for a jog", said Mom energetically. I don't know how she could be so energetic so early in the morning. I got into my tracksuit and waited for my parents outside. They came out dressed like sportsmen. It was funny but I didn't laugh.

We jogged or rather walked, the streets were filled with cherry blossoms. It was a beautiful sight and I shall never forget this day. The day I walked the streets after two years of being a shut-in.

I couldn't take my eyes off a particular cherry blossom tree. It had a mysterious aura. Beneath it was a beautiful boy with dark hair and with a few girls doing some stretching exercises. I copied them. My parents looked at me and laughed. I couldn't take my eyes off the beautiful boy who looked like he enjoyed his life to the fullest. I felt warm just by looking at him. My eyes widened at his sight and I smiled. I'm not sure if my parents caught me looking at him.

         "Good morning, Haru-chan!", The boy shouted and waved at me. I wasn't sure how he knew me but I was ready to wave back. As I was about to wave back, a girl ran past me.

"I'm sorry I'm late, Natsu-kun", the girl shouted back. Thank God I didn't wave back. It would've been awkward and I would never leave my room ever. Anyways I'm glad I found out his name in just a day.

"Maybe it's fate", I thought not losing my focus on the boy.