Look At Me

“How old do you have to be to get married?” the fox girl casually asked while pushing around the food on her plate.

The question was sudden and threw Ren off, causing him to choke on his food. Raz set his fork down and regarded the girl with a dubious raise of his good eyebrow.

“What kind of bullshit question is that?” the man grumbled.

“I’m just curious.” She popped a potato in her mouth and chewed. “How old?”

“You’re too young.” And he was too old and too tired to be putting up with these shenanigans this late in the day.

The girl was displeased with the non-answer. “I heard a fourteen-year-old got married in the next village over,” she challenged.

The man could hear the fight in her voice and rubbed his face, already irritated at the oncoming foolish conversation that he knew was impossible to avoid. “You mean that little rabbit farmer girl? The one who was basically sold off to a man twice her age because her parents can barely provide for all those mouths that they chose to have? Do you realize how unfortunate that is for that girl? What kind of life she’s gonna have?”

Sakura barely thought on it. “But she was fourteen. So you can get married at fourteen.”

Raz knew he shouldn’t be surprised, but this girl always had a way of pushing him off balance. “I am not marrying off a fourteen-year-old. I don’t care what some other girl in some other village did. I wouldn’t even be able to get rid of you. There isn’t a single man in this whole country who is brain dead enough to put up with your shit.” He glanced over at Ren who was just barely recovering from his coughing spell, and mentally corrected himself.

There was one.

And for as intelligent as the boy was, he was the most brain dead of them all.

“I don’t want to marry an old guy!” the girl argued, her face twisted in revulsion. “That’s disgusting!” She looked at the man who had raised her, an even older guy than the new groom. She looked down, some of the wind taken from her sails. “Sorry.”

“No,” Raz agreed. “It is disgusting, and any man worth his weight in salt isn’t going to marry a child.”

Sakura started playing with a lock of her long, cherry hair, twisting it around her fingers. “But what if he was closer to my age?”

“Wait!” Ren sputtered. “You like someone?”

She avoided the boy’s prying gaze. “Maybe.”

“Then you both can wait.” Raz stood, grabbing his plate and taking it to the kitchen.

“But what’s the big deal?” the demon continued to argue, refusing to accept the man’s shut down of the conversation. “Other girls do it, not just that girl! Some of them even have children!”

He looked back between the panicked boy and the obstinate girl.

He couldn’t imagine anything worse.

Raz inhaled deeply as he began washing his dish in the basin, willing himself out of a yelling match with the fox. “I may not have been the best caregiver for you,” he said evenly. “But I’ll be damned if the best I’ve done is raise a child bride. Finish your supper, wash up, and go read. I don’t want to hear about this again for at least ten more years.”

“Ten years!” the girl yelped. “I’ll be too old!”

“Keep it up and I’ll make it forty years and then you’ll really be too old.”

Sakura sat back in her seat, puffing her cheeks out in silent tantrum. She knew that Raz was now done entertaining her, and anything more was going to lead to a day of doing the worst chores. She heard a snort come from Ren and she turned her irritation towards him.

“You look like a frog,” he stifled a laugh.

“Shut up,” she pouted.

“Ribbit.” The boy teased and received a sliced carrot to his face which he promptly popped in his mouth and chewed with a grin while the fox seethed across from him. He winked at the girl, but the tight ball in his chest had been formed and was beginning to steadily grow.

That night Ren lay in bed staring at the ceiling, the ball now an uncontrollable mass weighing him down. He thought of all the boys in the village and gave each one careful consideration. None of them seemed like a likely option. He didn’t know of one boy around their age who wasn’t afraid of Sakura after what she had done to the hog, Garnet, years before, and to quite a few of them since. Then again, he could only attest to what he saw when he was with her. Lately, she’d been going in alone more often to help Torg and Okag in the shop. It was completely possible that she had begun a relationship with one of them when he wasn’t around. It could even be a boy from one of the neighboring villages. A boy he knew nothing about.

After all, Sakura was no longer some scrawny beast that constantly tore through everything in her path. She was still on the wild side but had learned how to control herself better and had calmed down with age. She was clever and could be sly, but mostly cheerful and sweet. Ren was very aware, almost painfully so, of the changes in her body as well. She had begun growing out of her previous skin and bones of a rambunctious child, and into the captivating curves that come with womanhood. He certainly wasn’t the only one around who noticed how she was becoming more and more beautiful by the day. Their previous trip to the closest town had been a testament to that.

He needed to figure out who it was.

He needed to fix this.

Before it got out of control.

The creaking of the bed across from him startled the boy, and he was grateful for the darkness that would hide his shame from where his thoughts had been heading. He shouldn’t have been surprised by the noise. There had never been a time where Sakura didn’t climb into his bed at night to sleep next to him. Raz had tried to put a stop to it a couple of years earlier, but there was no stopping the girl when she wanted something, and trying to control her just made it worse. He chose not to fight that battle, instead relying on Ren to do what was expected of him.

The padding of feet crossed the small room, and the demon was under the covers effortlessly. She wrapped her thin arms around the angel’s sturdier arm and nuzzled into his shoulder. He laid there, unmoving, wondering at what point had such an innocent gesture become a cursed blessing. He knew the wise thing would be to fake himself into real slumber but making semi-reasonable decisions had recently been on the decline.

“Do you think your future husband would approve of this?” Ren asked, trying to keep his voice low as not to wake his uncle.

Sakura’s head tilted up. “He may not mind,” she replied softly, her emerald eyes bright in the moonlit room.

“So, who is it?” The knife of jealousy stabbing at him.

“It’s a secret,” she said, her smile cutting through the air.

He took inventory of the village boys once again. A few of them were probably decent enough looking for the girl’s standards. “It’s Garnet, isn’t it?” he stated confidently, knowing the hog demon’s name would set her off. He immediately sensed her disgust and smirked at the reaction.

“What is wrong with you?”

“I’m just trying to imagine what your kids would look like.”

“You’re such a jerk,” she muttered, jabbing her sharp nail into his side slightly. The physical pain was a relief from the emotional.

“Do you think they would have your tail or his?” Ren continued, his voice joking but his intentions were simple jealousy.

She chewed her cheek, resisting the urge to smother the boy with the pillow. “You’re gross. I’m going back to the other bed.”

He rolled towards her and draped his arm over her waist, meekly trapping her. “I’m sorry. That was mean of me. I just couldn’t help fantasizing about those precious little abominations.” Sakura attempted to jerk away but he kept her steady. “Okay, okay!” He gave in. “I’m sorry. I’m really sorry this time.”

“You’re such an asshole,” the girl complained, but made no further attempts to escape as she turned towards him and her fingers went to his shirt, rolling the fabric between them.

“I am,” Ren nodded. “I really am the worst. So why do you suddenly want to get married? Don’t you think fourteen is a bit young?”

“It’s way too young,” she agreed. “Raz is right. I actually feel sorry for that girl. She probably had no say in the matter. I bet that man who married her is so gross.”

“And you still picked a fight with him.” The angel sighed, not surprised in the slightest.

“I don’t like being told what I can and can’t do.”

“What if Raz doesn’t like who you choose to marry?”

“Raz doesn’t like anyone,” she said simply.

The boy stared at the girl, his lungs closing in. “What if I don’t like him?”

Sakura snuggled against his chest and yawned. “Sounds like a personal problem.”

“Who is it?” he asked again, but she had already drifted off, leaving him alone in the emptiness of the night. Ren closed his eyes despite knowing that the churning in his gut wouldn’t allow him any rest.

Morning brought no respite. With little sleep and envy eating away at his insides, Ren was hardly functioning. He mindlessly crushed three eggs, the yolks slipping from his hands as the chickens bombarded and greedily pecked at the remains dripping to the ground. He smashed two zucchinis underfoot and pulled one of the snow pea vines out by the roots. He stumbled over his own feet hauling water back from the creek, dumping both buckets on the ground.

Raz had yelled himself hoarse at the boy, having to constantly remind him to get his head out of the clouds, pay attention, do his chores correctly.

“What the hell is wrong with you today?” The man shook his head in dismay. It wasn’t uncommon for Sakura to procrastinate or just completely shirk her responsibilities, but Ren was always punctual, precise, and compliant in executing his duties. “You sick, boy?” He put his hand on the boy’s forehead only to find it cool to the touch.

Ren brushed him off. “I’m fine,” he mumbled, his body buzzing louder and louder. “Just tired.”

“Well wake up. I need to go into the village, and you still need to help with the washing.”

“Yeah. Okay.” The boy went back into the cottage and gathered the sheets from the beds, carrying the bundle back out just as Raz disappeared past the tree line. He dumped the load onto the ground next to the already filled wash basin and crouched down, grabbing the top sheet and dunking it into the cold, soapy water. He scrubbed at it more forcefully then needed. He knew the fabric may tear, so he scrubbed harder.

Ren had made it halfway through the pile when a shadow cast over him. He bit his tongue and snapped his eyes shut tightly, willing himself to act normal.

“You’re gonna tear those sheets if you keep going at them like that,” the shadow announced.

The angel looked up as Sakura took a bite out of a freshly picked carrot. Rays of light shone around her making her white sun dress appear brighter. Black, skintight shorts skimmed at the tops of her knees just below the skirt. It was a strange fashion combination, but she always sported them, as the girl was just as much to look at you as she was to throw out a round house kick at your head.

There wasn’t a single boy in the village who would be able to fend themselves against one of the demon’s constant onslaught of scattered blows. Not a day went by where Ren didn’t end up taking a punch to the gut, or get put in a choke hold, or any other random act of violence from the girl after already blocking at least a dozen of her attacks throughout the day.

The fox was blood thirsty, but what if she didn’t feel that way around this other boy? What if she was refined, and delicate, and gentle around him? The boy attempted to swallow his insecurities.

“Did you clean the coop and weed the garden?” He tried not to snap but it came out more forceful than he had intended.

She rolled her head back and forth along her shoulders, sunning her face. “I cleaned the coop. The weeds will still be there tomorrow. You wanna spar while Raz isn’t here? I talked him into getting one of those mangoes at Torg’s. I’ll fight you for your half.”

Ren didn’t really care if she did her chores or not, it was only more work for her later on. But the sight of her so relaxed, carefree, and radiant had him apprehensive at the detached state of his own mind.

“Why don’t you just do what you're supposed to and stop screwing around?” His bitterness was leaking out. “Just get your chores done and stop always harassing me.”

Sakura tilted her head, her eyebrows raising curiously. “What’s your problem?” she asked, not in the least bit bothered by Ren’s unusual tone.

‘You!’ Ren’s thoughts spewed. ‘You’re my problem! You’re always my problem! Stop being so fucking blind!’

“Nothing.” Was what came from his mouth.

The fox tossed the carrot greens away. “Come on! Spar with me!” she begged.

Ren stood and followed Sakura as she turned and walked off. She would be relentless until he gave in. He had grown much bigger and stronger than the demon over the years but allowed her to win most of their matches. Sometimes he took victory to remind her that he could hold his own, but looking up at her proud, beaming smile after taking him to the ground was always worth the loss.

That wasn’t the case today. The boy was tired of losing. He wanted the girl to look at him, really look at him, and he was going to make her do so.

Without warning Sakura spun, her foot aimed at the angel’s head. It took little effort for Ren to grab her leg, yank it towards him, and sweep out her other leg. A yelp rang out as the girl slammed onto the ground on her back. She tried to recoup but the larger boy was already straddling her hips, his legs squeezing hers into submission, one hand holding down both of her wrists above her head while his other hand pushed against the grass next to her face. She was taken back by the darkness that shadowed his normally bright, blue eyes.

Like storm clouds on a perfect day.

It was happening again.

She swallowed hard. “I guess you really wanted that mango, huh?” she tried to joke but it came out weak. “How about we split it?”

“I don’t want your damn mango,” his voice was low and deep.

“Okay. You want something else? I think there’s still some...”

“Kiss me.” The words were demanding and primal and a shock to both of their ears.

Sakura’s face burned the same color as her hair making her emerald orbs even more brilliant as they nearly popped from their sockets. Ren closed his eyes, mentally kicking himself, and pushed away, plopping his body to the side of the fox. He brought his knees up and hid his equally red face in his hands.

“I’m sorry,” he choked. “I don’t… I just… Fuck! I’m sorry!”

Sakura rolled over and knelt beside him. “What’s wrong, Ren?” she asked softly as he shook his head. “Please talk to me.”

He spoke but the words were muffled by his hands and his remorse.

“What?” She grabbed one of his wrists and pulled it away from his blazing face. “I can’t understand you.”

“Why do you have to like some other guy?!” Ren demanded, glaring at the girl, feeling entirely dejected.

“What?” the girl repeated, her face twisted in confusion.

“The guy you were talking about last night.” His mouth a leaky sieve. “The one you were trying to talk Raz into letting you marry! What’s so great about him?”

Realization dawned on the demon as a cocky smirk appeared. “You’re jealous.” She poked his rosy cheek. “You’re super jealous.”

“Of course I am!” he snapped. “I’m the one who puts up with your shit all the time. I give you my food even when I want it. I carry you on my back from the village cause you want to be lazy. I’m the one who gets knocked out of my own bed cause you roll around. I’m the one always with you. I’m the one you always come crying to. I’m… I’m…” The waves of doubt began to evaporate.

“An idiot,” Sakura finished for him, enjoying the sight of his clumsy fit.

“Yeah…” Ren laid his head on his arms, envy morphing into embarrassment. “An idiot.”

“So, what lucky fella from the village did you think had stolen my heart?” she prodded.

He groaned, “I don’t know. That’s why it was driving me nuts. Damn it, Sakura! Why do you always do this to me?”

She leaned forward and pressed her lips against the angel’s cheek. “That’s all you get,” she purred as she stood up, patting the dust from her dress. “If you want more than that you’ll have to hurry and grow up and make an honest woman out of me. I’m a maiden of pure virtue, after all, so mind yourself and don’t sully my innocence.” She patted his messy black curls as if he were a small child and bounded off to the garden to finish her chores.

Ren watched her go, her hips sashaying back and forth in an overly dramatic fashion. The realization that he had foolishly traded one set of problems for even more infuriating ones was a difficult pill to swallow. The boy had been like a mouse chasing after a cat, and now that the cat had finally acknowledged him, she was ready to play.

But cats don’t just play.

They torture their prey.

He looked at the mountains looming overhead and decided he’d discuss the option of disappearing into them for a while once Raz returned.

The older angel hunched over the counter, filling out an order slip for new tools as the lumbering ogre across from him rattled on about all the new materials the cities were using to produce said new tools. A lonely mango sat next to the slip, still waiting for purchase. The bell above the door jingled merrily, welcoming its newest guest.

“Wel…” Torg’s booming voice fell. “...come.”

An abrasive rumbling rolled from Raz’s throat. “You leeches always have the nastiest aura,” he growled, not even bothering a glace. “Go away. I’m no longer a slave to The Kingdom. You made sure of that.”

“Raziel,” a man’s voice commanded. “Are you still in possession of the Fallen One?”

Raz turned to face two regal looking men, their snow-white wings on full display. They stood tall in their crisp white and gold trimmed Guard uniforms, the majestic crest of God’s Kingdom emblazoned across their left breasts. Both had long, golden hair tied back at the nape of their necks, pale, flawless skin with blue eyes that shone with repulsion.

“Fuck off!” Raz spat. “He’s not acknowledged by The Kingdom so get fucked elsewhere.”

One of the men held up a creme colored scroll with dark purple signet ring with the same design as the crest. “This begs to differ,” he said shortly.

Raz’s heart dropped. “He’s a boy of barely 16. It hasn’t even been a fortnight since he celebrated. The Guard doesn’t take them so young.”

“There are exceptions to every rule. He’s certainly testament to that,” the man said coldly and opened the door, the bell jingling sweetly. “Take us to him.”

Raz grit his teeth but followed the men, leaving behind the mango, knowing full well it would ultimately rot in his possession.