Chapter 23. Birthday Dungeon

“Emma! Why are the peasants even here on our Christmas eve date? Having that butler stalking us around is bad enough but why are those 2 here?” I demanded as my date with my blondie was ruined by the 3 extra wheels. Have you ever seen a bike function with 5 fucking wheels? I haven’t fucking either.

“Calm down Ken. It’s Christmas eve! Let’s enjoy our KFC and afterwards we will go buy you a birthday cake to celebrate!” Peasant 1 commented like I enjoy having her around and she hasn't been a complete annoyance.

Anyways, why do we fucking eat KFC for Christmas anyways? I mean, I like fried chicken as much as the next person but this tradition of ours here in Japan is just beyond my understanding. Maybe it’s because the KFC guy looks like Santa? Who the fuck knows. Oh well, I will just try to enjoy this fried chicken while tuning out all the noises around me.

“Ken! What do you want for your birthday? I will buy you a present.” China girl said happily.

“I want the 3 of you to disappear so I can be alone with my blondie.” I replied as I closed my eyes to pray and hoped they would be gone when I opened my eyes again.

“How about a nice mana ring? You would still need to get quite a few mana items but the ring could always be useful.” China girl said. Completely ignoring my actual birthday wish.

“I would take a nice uber fucking expensive mana ring that adds thousands and thousands and thousands of mana.” I replied.

If I can’t get rid of them, might as well let them get me something that I could use to summon my golem. Since China girl’s dad is also an elite 50 member, she is probably a crazy rich Asian. I know the crazy part is certainly true.

Since the entrance exam, Emma had leveled a few more times and with her luck and selecting pretty much only support skills. It was expected that the mana boost skill would show up. With all things considered, it probably had already shown up a few times but we have never thought it was more useful than the other skills she has.

But not anymore, when mana boost was offered after gaining a level. Emma happily took the skill and so far has gotten it to level 3 and with her stats and everything else, she could provide me with about 175% extra mana so we are still way away from being able to summon a golem as my minion and my dream and hope of getting rid of this meatshield as my tank is not looking good.

“Here. You can have a chicken wing.” Peasant 2 offered me a wing from her plate. Is this going to be my birthday present? A fucking chicken wing? Eh, better than nothing I guess. Not like I wouldn't have taken it anyways if I wanted it but at least she had the thoughts of offering.

“There is a level E pokemon dungeon opening at 10pm. Let’s register and go clear some mobs and go for a boss kill after midnight.” Emma suggested.

Since school ended and winter break started. I have spent most of my days hunting dungeons with the trio. While I have gotten a few mobs to over 50k kills, I am still far off from getting a single skill and the dungeon bosses haven’t offered any soul drop either. Basically what I am saying is that I haven’t done shit to get stronger but it’s not from lack of trying.

If you couldn’t tell by now, there are many different types of dungeons and that much should have been obvious. Some dungeons contain a single type of mob, some contain mobs of similar monster types, some contain mobs from the same game and some just contain random shit that seems to be have no logic behind them other than the level of the monsters.

Anyways, as we got to the pokemon dungeon. This shit is pretty much just a dungeon filled with random level E pokemon monsters. Zubats, pikachus, all types of other pokemon I still needed 100k kills but spawn in such low quantities that it has been a pain to get kills especially with China girl around.

With her high powered attacks and lack of respect for my authority, she would often steal my fucking kills when we are killing mobs especially since we have mostly been doing level E dungeons so we could go for the boss kill.

Like how in the hell would I kill 100k of those green and yellow worms when they don’t mob much and fucking China girl here wipes the entire map with a single attack. There is no way in hell I can get 100k kills anytime soon.

After a few hours of dungeon clearing, with it been so late at night and Christmas eve, not many others were crazy enough to be out and about doing dungeons and unlike most boss fights where we would be sharing the fight and I have to time the final blow to make sure I get the kill, the boss room was empty when we arrived..

“He looks weak as fuck. First time we fighting this fucker isn’t it. What does he even do?” I asked as we entered the boss room.

“Mmm, all of his stats are low, he’s got only one ability, doesn’t even have a basic attack and doesn’t have that much hp either. Should be an easy kill. Maybe 15 or 20 minutes and we will be out.” Emma said as she inspected the dungeon boss.

Since the boss room was empty when we entered, I, the party leader initiated the request for the boss fight to start, no other party in the dungeon decided to join so no one was teleported into the boss room before the doors closed and we, a party of 4 got to face our first solo dungeon boss. Nothing could go fucking wrong right? It’s a level E dungeon afterall.

“Get in position my peasants!” I demanded as we got into our battle formation.

“We really need to change the party name. Can we take a vote and rename the party?” Peasant 2 complained as she got in position at the front as our main tank.

“There is no democracy in this party, peasant 2… I will say this, you are very useful as a meatshield and I realized that any party that wants to do well in a boss fight needs a good meatshield and support.” I said, giving peasant 2 a complement so she would stop complaining about our party name.

“A high damage dealer is obviously the most important. No one can last in a dungeon forever.” Peasant 1 joined in the conversation trying to make herself seem useful when she really isn’t since I can do plenty of damage especially in a lower level dungeon.

“KEN! Watch out” Emma shouted as a thunderbolt came at my face but thankfully, meatshield did her job and tanked the damage for me.

“Thanks meatshield. What the fuck is up with this fucking pikachu. He summons a shit ton of other pokemon and they are all weak as fuck but this fucking pikachu is insanely fast and strong!” I complained. How is this level E dungeon so much harder than any of the other ones we had so far?

This Ashe motherfucker isn’t even strong since this is a level E dungeon. All he does is throw fucking pokeballs at us every so often and it will summons a random pokemon that would spawn in level E dungeons.

But this fucking pikachu is different! Unlike the other fuckers he summon that acts and attacks like a fucking level E monster. This mother fucking pikachu is way too strong and probably belong in at least a level C dungeon if not even higher and I got no idea why it’s in a fucking level E dungeon!

“China girl! How much longer will you take to kill the fucker? This pikachu is getting out of control.” I asked. Didn’t Emma say this dungeon would only take 10 minutes? We have been fighting for at least an hour. Why the fuck is he not dead?

“I can’t damage him! He’s got some crazy high regen passive or something! We should have read a thorough guide on a new boss fight! His regen pretty much cancels out my explosion! I need you to attack too or else it’s a standstill, his hp isn’t going down.” China girl replied as the fucking pikachu dashed around too fast for me to hit.

“THUNDERBOLT! Take that you motherfucker!” I yelled as I sent a bolt of thunder as the stupidass looking kid wearing a red cap standing in the middle of the dungeon doing nothing but throwing random pokeball at us.

Just before my attack landed, the fucking pikachu jumped into the damage and tanked the thunderbolt like it was nothing.

“What the fuck just happened? Does the fucking pikachu just tank the hit?” I screamed. Not sure what the fuck is going on.

A fucking level E dungeon shouldn’t be this hard! Sure, the four of us have never soloed a dungeon before but this level of power and ability in a level E dungeon? Something is fucking off! We should have definitely read a guide on this Ashe fucker before I started the dungeon.

I guess that’s one more lesson learned about the dungeons. You fucking read a guide no matter how strong you think you fucking are or some weak looking ass from some anime from over 500 years ago with a stupid grin might just summon a fucking overpowered pikachu and fuck you in the ass!