Dawn of Realization

Jack stirred as dawn broke, the first light of day seeping through the blinds. The remnants of a hangover throbbed in his head, his eyes slowly adjusting to the soft light that filled the room. He found himself on the couch, Ethan's head resting comfortably against his chest. Their bodies were tangled in an intimate embrace, Ethan's arm draped over him, their legs interwoven in a cozy jumble.

Jack's heart pounded as he looked down at Ethan. The sight of the love bites on Ethan's skin was a stark reminder of the previous night's passion, the memories now permanently etched in his mind. A whirlwind of emotions swirled within him - fear, anxiety, elation, and a lingering hint of desire. He had crossed a line with Ethan, a boundary that could never be redrawn. Their professional relationship had been irrevocably altered, and there was no turning back.

He was Ethan's psychiatrist, his beacon in the journey to recovery, not a catalyst for further complications. He was there to listen, not to fuel Ethan's obsession or to fix him. A pang of guilt gnawed at him, but it was quickly overshadowed by the warmth radiating from his heart. He was happier than he had been in a long time, yet also terrified. They both were. They feared the implications of their actions on their relationship and the potential impact on Ethan.

Ethan shifted in his sleep, murmuring, "Hnn... no... don't... Jack..." The sound of his name on Ethan's lips sent Jack's heart racing. He watched, captivated, as a soft moan escaped Ethan's lips. Ethan was breathtakingly beautiful. Jack felt a surge of affection, his hand instinctively reaching up to brush a stray lock of hair from Ethan's face. The realization hit him like lightning - he was in love with Ethan. It was a feeling he had never experienced, something extraordinary and unfamiliar.

Yet, a myriad of questions and uncertainties clouded his mind. Was this just a one-night stand? Were they now in a relationship? What did this mean for Ethan's therapy? How did Ethan feel about it? Would he remember? Would he dismiss it as a drunken mistake?

A soft groan broke the silence as Ethan stirred, lifting his head slightly from Jack's bare chest. His eyes fluttered open, and he looked up at Jack, confusion flickering. Then, understanding dawned on him, his cheeks flushing a deep crimson. He sat up abruptly, pulling away from Jack. His eyes widened as he took in the sight of the love bites on their skin. Despite the awkwardness, he remained perched on Jack.

Jack watched him, his heart pounding in his chest. He yearned to reach out, to draw Ethan back into his embrace. But he refrained, giving Ethan the space he needed. He observed as Ethan touched his lips, a small smile playing on his lips. Ethan looked genuinely happy, and that made Jack's heart flutter. Perhaps he wasn't the only one who didn't regret their actions. Maybe he wasn't the only one grateful for the alcohol, for it had allowed him to acknowledge and act on his feelings.

Jack's gaze roamed over their disheveled state, a small smile tugging at his lips. Their hair was tousled, and the effects of the alcohol were evident in the slight bags under their eyes. Their clothes were scattered on the floor, wrinkled and reeking faintly of alcohol. The love bites on their skin served as a tangible reminder of their passionate encounters the previous night. The scent of their mingled bodies, a heady mix of sweat, alcohol, and the faint musk of their arousal, lingered in the air, adding to the sensory memory of their night together.

As Jack watched Ethan, he found himself speculating about Ethan's feelings. He had always been observant, but now he was anxious about what Ethan thought and felt. He saw the happiness in Ethan's eyes but also the fear and uncertainty. He wanted to reassure him and tell him everything would be okay, but he didn't know if he could make that promise. He didn't know what this meant for them, for their relationship. He didn't know if Ethan was ready for this if he was ready for this.

"You look a bit worn out. Did you sleep well?" Jack asked, his gaze softening as he looked at Ethan. He had the urge to reach out, to touch his arm or wrap it around his waist gently, but he held himself back.

Ethan blushed, his eyes darting away as he searched for words. "I'm... fine. I slept pretty well, surprisingly. Though my back isn't too happy." His words stumbled over each other, revealing his discomfort.

"We probably should have moved to the bed at some point," Jack replied with a light-hearted chuckle, trying to ease the tension. "Maybe next time?"

Ethan avoided eye contact, still sitting on Jack, barely covered, his skin flushed, making the love bites even more prominent. Upon closer inspection, Jack could swear there were some teeth marks on Ethan's chest, causing him to blush.

"Next... time?" Ethan asked hesitantly, his hand reaching up to touch his lips again, his ears now bright red. He fidgeted slightly, shifting his weight on Jack's hips.

A soft groan escaped Jack's lips as he tried to keep his focus, but it was becoming increasingly difficult. He quickly placed his hands on Ethan's hips, squeezing slightly to keep him still. He knew Ethan was still trying to process what was happening, and their current position wasn't helping. He bit his lip slightly as he looked away.

"I mean... I think so... at least." Jack said with a chuckle, trying to be honest with his feelings for once. His mind was a whirlwind of thoughts, each more confusing than the last. He was acutely aware of the warmth of Ethan's body against his, the way his breath hitched when Jack touched him, the softness of his lips. And he wanted more. He wanted to explore every inch of Ethan, to know him in ways no one else did. But he also knew that he needed to tread carefully. Ethan was vulnerable, still grappling with his feelings and the aftermath of their encounter. Jack didn't want to push him, didn't want to scare him away.

"I... love you," Ethan said, taking a deep breath. "I'm still... confused. And I don't know what you think about it, but I like you." He was still not facing Jack, his face getting brighter as he glanced away, one of his hands gently tracing the blonde's skin.

Jack wanted to reply, to tell him he loved him too, but he waited. He could see that Ethan was still forming words filled with fear and anxiety. He was hesitant to speak them, to make them real.

"I'm scared. I'm terrified right now." Ethan's voice was barely a whisper, his fingers trembling as they touched Jack's skin.

Another deep breath, another moment of silence.

"Jack. I'm afraid of myself. What if I... go back? Go back to who I was before? What if this... doesn't work out? Should we revert to our previous roles of psychiatrist and patient? Will I become obsessive, constantly worrying about who you're seeing and talking to, why you're not by my side?" His voice wavered, tears welling up in his eyes. He looked like he was on the verge of breaking, his whole being trembling with fear and uncertainty.

"I... don't mind... Yet I am so sorry." Jack said, his gaze drifting away from Ethan as he grappled with his emotions, trying to find the right words to respond to Ethan's heartfelt confession.

"Jack... I just... I don't want to revert to Ethan, who was in love with Natsumi. Ethan Reed was possessive and controlling, always wanting to know where she was, manipulating others, confining her to my house."

Jack didn't know how to respond, so he pulled Ethan back into his arms, holding him close as he gently kissed his forehead.

"Just calm down. Listen to me for a little bit, okay?" Jack said, rubbing Ethan's back gently as he began to speak.

"I am terrified too, and seeing you like this is breaking my heart. I've done things since last night that I will never forgive myself for. As your psychiatrist, I should've never let my personal feelings cloud my judgment. Drinking with a patient? It's unthinkable."

He could feel Ethan trembling slightly as he spoke, a few sniffs and warm tears hitting his chest. For a moment, he froze, the words caught in his throat before he traced his strong, chilly back.

"I have been utterly obsessed with you since our first session, though I initially denied it. Ethan this, Ethan that. All my thoughts and conversations were about you. How can I help this man? How can I stop him from crying? Why is he so angry? So broken?"

Jack's words trailed off, unsure about Ethan's reaction to his confessions. The warm tears were still flowing.

"Ethan, I've never felt more jealous than when I heard you talk about Natsumi. I know you're scared of the man you were, and I hate saying this, but...I wished it was me. I wished you'd looked at me with those fiery eyes."

More sniffles could be heard from Ethan. Jack took his chin and lifted his face towards him to see his expression. Tears stained the man's face, his eyes now red and puffy. He looked shattered, and his emotions were hard to read.

"I love you, Ethan." Jack finally confessed, his voice barely above a whisper. His heart pounded as he awaited Ethan's response, hoping his confession wouldn't push him away.