A Walk in the Park

The sun was high, casting a warm glow over the park. Jack and Ethan walked side by side, their pace slow and relaxed. The atmosphere was different from the cafe, lighter and more open. It was a welcome change after the emotional turmoil they had just experienced.

Jack glanced at Ethan, taking in his relaxed posture and the faint smile on his lips. He looked more at ease now, the anxiety that had gripped him earlier seemingly at bay. Jack felt a surge of relief. He wanted this walk to be a breather for both of them, a chance to talk without the heavy emotions weighing them down.

Yet, beneath his calm exterior, Jack wrestled with his turmoil. He was a professional psychiatrist who had crossed a line with his patient. He knew it was wrong, and the guilt gnawed at him. He cared about Ethan more than he should, tearing him apart.

"So, Ethan," Jack began, his tone light but his heart heavy. "You know, this technique called 'grounding' can help when you're anxious. It's all about focusing on the present moment, on what you can see, hear, touch, smell, and taste. Like... right now, we can focus on the birds chirping, the feel of the grass under our feet, the smell of the flowers... It's simple, but it can be effective."

He explained what he meant, using the park around them as a guide. The park was a symphony of colors, from the grass's vibrant green to the sky's brilliant blue. Flowers wafted in the air, mingling with the earthy smell of the soil—the sound of birds chirping filled the air, a soothing melody that eased his troubled mind.

"See that tree over there?" he pointed at a tall oak with vibrant green leaves. "Try to describe it in as much detail as you can. The bark's texture, the leaves shape, and the way the branches sway in the wind. Grounding techniques like this can help you focus on the present moment and distract you from anxious thoughts."

Ethan nodded, his gaze following Jack's finger to the tree. "It's... tall. The bark is rough, and the leaves are... well, they're green."

Jack laughed, nudging Ethan with his elbow. "Very observant. But you get the idea. It's about focusing on your surroundings, on tangible, concrete things."

Ethan chuckled, a soft, genuine sound that made Jack's heart flutter. "You're turning our walk into a therapy session, Jack."

Jack grinned, shrugging nonchalantly. "Can't help it. It's in my nature. Plus, I think it's important for us to have these tools, don't you?"

Ethan nodded, his smile fading slightly. "Yeah, you're right. It's just... it's a lot to take in, you know?"

Jack reached out, gently squeezing Ethan's hand. "I know, Ethan. And it's okay. We don't have to figure everything out right now. We can take our time."

Ethan took a deep breath, squeezing back softly. After a moment or two, he looked around and let go as his face had gone beet red. He had forgotten the two of them were in public. Even though it seemed mean, these responses appeared to be very cute.

"So, Dr. Van Derloch, any more tips?" He said, scratching his cheek, trying to look unbothered by this all.

"Hmmm... I have something," Jack began, a playful glint in his eyes. "Did you know that deep breathing exercises can help manage anxiety?"

Ethan glanced at him, a hint of curiosity in his eyes. "Really? How does that work?"

Jack chuckled, his gaze fixed on the path ahead. "When you're anxious, your breathing can become quick and shallow. Deep breathing helps to slow it down, which can help to calm your mind."

Ethan nodded, his gaze thoughtful. "I see. And how do I do that?"

"Well, it's simple," Jack replied, his tone light. "You just need to take a deep breath through your nose, hold it for a few seconds, and then exhale slowly through your mouth. Try to focus on the sensation of the breath entering and leaving your body. It can be calming."

Ethan gave it a try, his eyes closing as he took a deep breath, held it, and then exhaled slowly. "That... feels nice," he admitted, a small smile on his lips.

Jack grinned, pleased to see Ethan trying his suggestion. "I'm glad you think so. And remember, it's not just about the breathing. It's also about grounding yourself in the moment. When you're anxious, focus on the here and now. What can you see? What can you hear? What can you feel? It can help to bring you back to reality."

Ethan nodded, his gaze thoughtful. "I'll try to remember that, Jack."

"And don't forget about self-care," Jack added, his tone serious. "It's important to take care of yourself physically and mentally. Ensure you're eating well, getting enough sleep, and doing things you enjoy. It can make a big difference. Though I know you are already working on that, seeing how you inhaled that salad and your pasta last night."

Ethan chuckled, a soft pink shade on his cheeks, shaking his head. "You sound like a self-help book, Jack."

Jack laughed, his heart light. "Well, I am a psychiatrist, after all. It's my job to give advice."

Ethan smiled, his eyes soft. "Well, I appreciate it, Jack. Really."

Jack grinned. "I'm glad to hear that, Ethan. And remember, I'm always here for you. No matter what. I will always worry about you."

"Worry..."

With a chuckle, the blonde replied, "Of course, I will worry. I love you dearly."

Ethan sputtered before slapping Jack on the shoulder. "Oh, shut up, you. Stop it, self-help book Jack."

"Wow, I feel insulted. Alright, Ethan," Jack said, a playful smile on his face. "Are you ready for more self-help book Jack?"

Ethan chuckled, rolling his eyes. "Lay it on me, Dr. Van Derloch."

"Okay, here's a good one," Jack started, his tone light. "Did you know exercise can be a great way to manage anxiety and depression? It releases endorphins, which are natural mood lifters."

Ethan raised an eyebrow, a smirk on his face. "Are you suggesting I start doing yoga or something?"

Jack laughed, shaking his head. "Not necessarily, although yoga can be great for relaxation. But any form of exercise can help, whether going for a run, lifting weights, or even just taking a walk in the park. The key is to find something you enjoy."

Ethan nodded, his expression thoughtful. "I'll keep that in mind."

"Good," Jack said, his smile warm. "And here's another tip: try to maintain a positive attitude. I know it's easier said than done, especially when dealing with anxiety and depression. But try to focus on the good things in your life, no matter how small they seem."

Ethan snorted, shaking his head. "That sounds like something straight out of a cheesy motivational poster."

Jack chuckled, shrugging. "Maybe so, but it's still good advice. And remember, it's okay to ask for help when needed. You don't have to face everything on your own."

"If you can't have a positive attitude, come to me. I will remind you how much I love you and care whenever you need me to."

Ethan was silent for a moment, his gaze soft. "I know, Jack. And I'm grateful for your help."

"There is still something we need to discuss. Besides wondering why we haven't spoken as openly and honestly like this before." Jack said, rolling his eyes slightly.

A few moments of silence hung between them as they neared the pond near the cafe. The water shimmered and shined in the sunlight; ducks floated around happily as an older woman sat on the small dock with a fishing pole. A few people were out and about, like joggers, teenage girls, or dads with their kids.

"It's about us, right?" Ethan suddenly asked, refusing to look at Jack directly. "About what we are and what we will be. Psychiatrist and patient, or more."

"That's easy," Jack stated somewhat coldly. He could feel the lump in his chest as he spoke the words. There was no way he could go back. Not with his feelings, but especially not after what they did.

"Easy? You mean it's not open for discussion." Ethan snapped back, a little taken aback by his response.

"I can't be your psychiatrist any more, Ethan. We crossed lines we never should have. It's wrong. I feel... dirty." Jack groaned slightly, clenching his hand tightly into a fist. "I already should have stepped down when I noticed my feelings. But how could I? There was no way I would have let you get away."

Ethan stayed silent, taking in everything Jack was saying. He already used the grounding and deep breathing techniques he was just taught.

"I want to help you look for someone else. You know you can always talk to me, and I am always here to help you, but my bias influences my emotions. The fact that I love you and would die for you makes it hard to be objective."

A deep breath, this time inhaled by the blonde. Taking his time, exhaling slowly as he avoided looking at Ethan.

"You need someone to help you with your anxiety—no personal involvement. Even now, I feel slightly strange. I know so much about you and have seen and heard so much. I might as well know you better than you know yourself. And the more you trust me, the stranger it feels. Like I'm manipulating you, controlling you. Gaslighting you into this." Jack's voice trembled, clearly struggling with these thoughts. He loved Ethan dearly, yet felt like he was throwing away years of his career.

"Breathe in through your nose, out through your mouth, and then focus your mind," Ethan said calmly as he squeezed Jack's hand softly. "Grounding, Jack. You just taught me that. I am fine with this. It hurts, and I will have to open up to someone completely new, trusting them again, yet I know I will be fine since you, my boyfriend, believe in me."

"Thanks, Dr. Reed." The blonde took a deep breath, precisely as his lover had told him. He tried to calm down, yet his heart was racing slightly. Had he just called him his boyfriend?

"I would like to go home now," Ethan said with a deep sigh. "The park is great, the weather is amazing, and I'm here with you. It should be perfect, yet I feel incredibly drained right now."

"Should I go home for now?" Jack asked, worried about Ethan's condition.

"You can be pretty dense sometimes. I might still be an anxious mess and barely have energy, but that doesn't mean I don't want to make out with my boyfriend at my house, eat dinner, and watch movies or series all afternoon."

Within moments, Jack felt flustered at Ethan's response, who suddenly seemed bolder now that he had finally gotten things off his chest. The raven-haired man grinned at him, raising Jack's hand to give it a small kiss.

"So? Will my boyfriend join me for the rest of the afternoon and evening?" Ethan asked playfully.

"As long as you keep calling me that instead of a self-help book Jack," Jack responded with a smirk.

Ethan grinned brightly, running his free hand through his dark hair. "Oh no, that is never going away. That nickname is here to stay. So, are you coming home with me, Sunshine?"

"Sun...shine?" Jack mumbled as he stared at Ethan, his face void of emotion.

"I mean, you are the light in my life, and besides that, it's cute and warm, just like you," the black-haired, well-built man said with the biggest grin Jack had ever seen.

Jack shook his head to recover and replied with a cheeky grin, "Okay, Starlight, let's go."