Fixation

"Asher, what was your life like before coming here?" Rowan asked as we ran along the lakeside.

Over the last hour, as I grew more accustomed to supporting her with mana, we had increased our speed from a jog to a faster sprint than most professional runners could reach. Our movement was the same as a normal jog, but our legs propelled us a superhuman distance with each stride. Every 15 minutes or so, Serric asked for a short break to catch his breath, but besides those, we were continually increasing our speed. We would have to stop soon though, I could tell, since we were closing to hitting Serric and Gloria's limit.

What was my life like, huh.

I didn't really have much to say regarding that question. It wouldn't be a stretch to say that my life could be summarized in a few sentences.

"I lived in a small town. A very small town. I didn't really have any friends, even though I knew everyone. I worked a job I couldn't have cared less about. The rest of my time I spent reading, eating, or sleeping. And then I came here."

Rowan laughed.

"Yup, that's about what I expected. No wonder you got whisked away. I bet it wont be a week."

"What do you mean?"

"Before you forget everything, I mean. And become stuck here."

Huh?

What did she say?

What does she mean?

I wasn't... 

I wasn't told that.

I stopped running.

Rowan stopped as well.

"Serric didn't tell you, but I thought you should know."

Serric and Gloria were running ahead of us, so they hadn't noticed us stop yet.

"I'll give it to you straight. As long as you stay here, you'll forget things about your world. And you'll return to your world less often in your sleep. Until you've forgotten everything. And never go back."

...

Serric glanced back, and noticed we had stopped. He turned around started heading back towards us.

...

I'm going to forget the real world and end up stuck here for the rest of my life.

This was what had just been told to me. There was no room for interpretation.

And then I reached a conclusion.

"I don't care." I said.

I almost wondered if I already unconsciously knew what she told me. Because after she brought this up, I realized something.

I had never even entertained the idea of living dual lives. Even without knowing I was stuck here. I had always been thinking about my future exclusively in Reverie.

Returning back home each night had never even crossed my mind.

Rowan shrugged.

"I figured." she said. "You used your old world in past tense. It was obvious you had already given up on it."

I hadn't even noticed that.

Although I didn't really want to forget about my world, I figured I could just write down everything about my life in a journal or something. If I read it frequently, I doubted I would ever totally forget about my old life. And even if I ended up not being able to go back to my world, I didn't care anyways. What was waiting for me back there?

Serric had made it back to us.

"Is there a problem? Having trouble keeping up with the elderly? Pathetic." He laughed.

Then he looked directly at me. With those piercing eyes of his.

"Did she tell you?" He asked. His face was solemn now.

I don't know how he knew, but there was only one thing he could be talking about.

I nodded.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I asked curiously. "And why does that happen?"

He shook his head.

"Think about it. This world and yours are two sides of the same coin, reality and dream. When you first come here, you probably thought this was a dream, even if just for a moment. As you spend a little time here, the lines between reality and dream are blurred, causing you to shift between the sides, viewing the side you're in as reality and the other as the dream. This leads to a choice. If you choose to embrace your old world and cast this world away as a dream, you will spend more and more time in your world, and forget about this one. And if you fully accept this side as your new "reality", though the other side becomes the "dream". Destined to be forgotten, as soon as you start percieving it as such. I didn't tell you this because I wanted you to make the decision as to whether this is your new "reality" after you yourself came to the realization that if you stay here, you are permanently leaving your world behind. Although I can tell the result would've been the same either way."

Well, I guess that all made sense. 

"One more question." I said. "How do you know all this? I thought you said that most people in this world don't even know about my world. Oh, and are you from my world as well?"

Serric lowered his eyes.

"If I am from your world, Asher, I've long since forgotten. Anyways, let's get moving again. Tell me if you start to feel like you're running out of mana."

He began running once more. And then he stopped.

"By the way. Asher. What are your parents' names?"

What a weird question, I thought.

"                    "

...

Oh.

Serric looked at me with his dark, penetrating eyes. He saw right through me.

I couldn't remember.

He resumed his mana-augmented run.

I stood there.

"Asher, a little help down here?" Rowan said. She was lying on the ground next to me. I realized that I had stopped supporting her with mana at some point. "Keep supplying me with energy. Let's get moving." She said. Although her tone was just as playfully flippant as usual, she looked almost... sympathetic.

She went through this too, I realized.

We resumed our run along the lakeside. There was still no end in sight. Just those mountains. They hadn't gotten any closer. If anything, they seemed further. More obscure.

I tried to ignore it, but I couldn't take my mind off of my life back home.

What else had I forgotten?

When I tried to remember details of my life, I found that much had already been lost.

I couldn't remember where I worked. Only that I had done so.

I couldn't remember the names of any of the people in our town.

I couldn't remember anything about our house. The only thing I remembered was my bed. My favorite place.

I couldn't believe I had forgotten so much already. Even my parents names. I still remembered their last names obviously, but not their first. 

How long will it be before I forget what they look like too?

I pictured my mom in my head. I still remembered her.

I pictured my dad. I still remembered him.

Alright, at least I still remember what they look like.

And as soon as I thought that, losing focus of my mental image of them for just a moment, I couldn't recall them anymore.

As much as I tried to, I couldn't produce an image.

Even though I had it just a moment ago.

Is this the price I have to pay to stay here? 

Is it too late to take back my decision to stay here?

Do I want to take it back?

I thought I was ready to give up on my old life. But that was before I experienced losing my memories.

It didn't sound all that bad when I heard it, but feeling it was totally different.

If I forget everything from my old life... will I still be "me"?

Hang on? Does any of this really matter?

If I've already forgotten so much, I obviously didn't have a care in the world for my previous life. What reason do I have to go back? None. This place is infinitely more interesting than anything back there. Forgetting everything I know shouldn't matter either. Who knows, maybe what I thought was reality was all just a dream, and this is reality.

Reality is subjective, after all.

And there was one more reason to choose this place as my reality. She was running next to me right now.

I'm going to stay here, I decided.

Because of this internal debate of mine, it took me a little while to realize Serric had avoided my question.

He never told me how he knew all that he did.

There was definitely more to him than meets the eye.