Silent Conversations

Ethan's heart was heavy, and his thoughts were a whirlwind. Jack had been texting him since he left the venue in a rush, not waiting for a glass of water or for Jack to return. He had made a snap decision and fled without uttering a word.

His phone continued its relentless buzzing, the battery probably on the brink of giving up. Initially, the notifications were calls, but since he hadn't picked up, they morphed into an avalanche of texts. He didn't have the energy or the heart to respond, but a part of him felt a flicker of warmth, knowing that Jack worried him.

Ethan sighed deeply, took another sip of whiskey, and picked up his phone. There were twelve missed calls and about twenty messages. As he opened the messages, they all turned to 'read' status, signaling Jack that he had seen them.

"Ah, shit... I forgot about that..." he muttered as a new message popped up immediately.

"Ethan?! Thank God. I thought you were dead or in an accident... You didn't pick up and didn't read your messages. Thank you..."

Ethan's eyes welled up with tears as he read the text. In his emotional turmoil, Jack seemed to have forgotten everything that had transpired between them. He had been so consumed with worry for Ethan that he was still awake, glued to his phone.

"I'm at home drinking. Stop calling and texting me," Ethan typed back, his words cold and detached.

Another message from Jack appeared. "Please stay safe. Don't drink too much, okay? I don't want you to get hurt."

"Why didn't you tell me about her?"

"I didn't know how to tell you. I was scared of losing you."

"I'm trying to understand, Jack, but you're making this hard on me."

Ethan glanced at the whiskey in his hand. He had only poured a small amount and was barely a few sips in. This wasn't like before when he would have drowned his sorrows in alcohol. He just wanted something to dull the sharp edges of his emotions.

"Jack, just stop. I know my limits. You don't have to worry about me anymore. Go bother Helena for all I care."

Minutes that felt like an eternity passed before Jack replied. In the meantime, Ethan gathered some snacks, a charger, and a blanket, making himself comfortable as he gazed at the city's nightlife through the windows. People scurried below like ants, heading to clubs, parties, high-end events, or night shifts.

"Starlight... You know I love you. Looking at you at the party, our eyes meeting, it hurt. The one I wanted to dance with was you. I want to hold you close, smell your lovely shampoo, and just be there."

Ethan's heart ached. Jack had seen through him, seen the pain and envy that he couldn't hide. He knew he had to keep up appearances, but the act of a happy couple was wearing thin. He wasn't mad at Jack for having a fiancée, nor was he angry at Helena. The shattered trust hurt him. He had bared his soul to Jack, every dark corner, every high and low. Yet, Jack had kept this huge secret from him.

"I'm not mad at you for having a fiancée. I'm not mad at Helena, at least not anymore. I was emotional and hurt. You kept a big secret while telling me to open up and share mine. Jack, I can't stand looking at your face. I hate myself for wanting to console you. For feeling sorry that I'm the cause of your pain. For feeling that I shouldn't cry. My love for you is like a collar of thorns. I'm bound and stuck, waiting for you and watching you all while it hurts."

Tears streamed down Ethan's cheeks as he sent the message. He put his phone down and wrapped the blanket tightly around himself. The scent of the whiskey mingled with the faint smell of Jack's cologne that still lingered on his clothes. It was a bittersweet reminder of what could have been. He took another sip and nibbled on some snacks, trying to ignore the new message notification and the subsequent call that followed minutes later.

Ethan's heart felt like it was being squeezed. The penthouse, usually his sanctuary, felt cold and empty. The city lights that usually fascinated him seemed dull and lifeless. The sounds of the city, which were usually a comforting hum, now seemed distant and hollow.

No matter how much he loved Jack, he knew they had no future together, not like this. Ethan could only watch him from afar, wishing him and Helena happiness for their future. His heart yearned for what could have been, but his mind knew better. The pain was sharp, but in a way, it was a reminder that his heart was still capable of feeling, of loving.

Ethan stared at his phone, the screen illuminating the dark room. His heart was pounding, and his fingers trembled as he hesitated. Finally, he gathered the courage and tapped on the message notification.

"Sunshine... I mean, Ethan, I can't bear this. I feel like I'm suffocating. I know I messed up, but please don't shut me out. Your words, 'a collar of thorns,' that's exactly how I feel. I'm bound to you, and it hurts, but I don't want it any other way. I need you. Can we please talk? Face to face? I'll do anything."

Ethan's breath hitched as he read the words. His emotions were a storm inside him - anger, pain, longing, love. He looked at the whiskey in his glass, the amber liquid shimmering in the dim light. He needed courage, something to push him over the edge. In one swift motion, he downed the whiskey, feeling the burn as it traveled down his throat.

With a newfound recklessness, he dialed Jack's number. His heart raced as the phone rang, echoing in the silent room. When Jack answered, Ethan could hear his voice's desperation, which tore at him.

Ethan's voice was shaky, his words barely above a whisper. "Jack, why did you have to hide it? Why did you let me fall deep before telling me the truth?"

Jack's voice was thick with emotion. "Ethan, I... I was afraid. But that's no excuse. I should have been honest. I'm so sorry."

Ethan's voice rose, his emotions spilling over. "Sorry doesn't change anything. I feel like I can't breathe, Jack. I want to hate you, but I can't. I want to forget you, but you're everywhere. In my thoughts, in my heart. I want to scream and shout at you but also to hold you. How messed up is that?"

There was a pause, and then Jack spoke, his voice soft. "It's not messed up, Ethan. It's... it's love. Messy, painful, but also beautiful. I feel it too. I want to be with you, no matter what. Please, let me see you."

Ethan could feel the tears streaming down his face. He could smell the faint scent of Jack's cologne on his clothes, and it was like a physical ache. "How can I trust you again, Jack? How can I know you won't keep secrets or hurt me again?"

Jack's voice was earnest, pleading. "You have every right not to trust me. But I swear, Ethan, I will spend every day proving myself to you if you let me. Please, let's meet. Let's talk."

Ethan paused, his breaths coming in short gasps. The room felt like it was closing in on him. "I need to think. I need to breathe. I... I'll see you at the engagement party. But don't expect... don't expect everything to be okay."

Jack's voice was barely audible. "Thank you, Ethan. That's all I ask. Just a chance to talk."

They hung up, and Ethan was left in the silence of his penthouse. The city lights outside the window twinkled like distant stars. His heart was a whirlwind of emotions - pain, hope, fear, love.