Constructing a Triangle With Reference to Three Friends—Point A (Daichi Hasegawa)

Something’s been on my mind for a while. It's a tendency to pick out the things that usually aren’t noticed. Case in point, the seating arrangement between myself and my friends. I mentioned earlier that I have a few friends in this class. Their names are Daichi Hasegawa, Hinata Miyazawa, and Daisuke Kinoshita, all friends that I’ve come to know during this school year. I moved to the local area a year ago and didn’t really know anybody. I used the train, listened to my teacher’s lessons, ate lunch at the bench outside of the courtyard, and returned home without ever interacting with anyone the year prior.

Regardless, that’s all in the past. I’ve come to notice our seating recently and it’s created a fascination with the geometry at play. I sit in the very middle of the class, with Daichi Hasegawa in the top-left corner, Daisuke Kinoshita in the bottom-right corner, and Hinata Miyazawa sitting comfortably in the middle row next to the window. I’m the midpoint between Daichi and Daisuke, meaning that all four of us actually make a triangle, a really obtuse one at that. A triangle is formed and that’s all well and good, sure, but the points that comprise them are perhaps a little bit more intriguing.

To construct a shape, there has to be a beginning to all of it. Daichi Hasegawa was the first friend that I had made. He has particularly short dark hair and alternated between glasses and contacts. Knowing what he chose to wear that day was an interesting mystery in and of itself. He carried a brown book bag that he preferred to hold rather than put on his shoulders. He’s unconventional in terms of personality, but resembling something of a fluffhead. But he’s diligent in what he does. He’s motivated about his work as treasurer of the student council among many other things. He surprisingly finds it easy to communicate with others despite not sharing a lot of the same interests. I got to know him gradually after my first noticeable encounter with him.

My home is a train ride away from the school and many people who lived that same distance usually took the train. People came to recognize the familiar faces they saw at school on the short train rides and started talking with one another. I was never granted one of these encounters, so I kept to myself. I noticed that Hasegawa wouldn’t communicate with others as well. He was busy off in his own world, listening to music on the train ride home. He seemed to only pay attention to the scenery outside. He wasn’t overly keen in the conversations others had and was disinterested in the occasional delays.

He’d been thinking about something, something that I as a stranger wouldn’t have the opportunity to find out. He didn’t want others to know of it and took measures to shield others from his thoughts. He was more statues than person at times, considering how unfazed he looked at most things. He had a reputation of being incredibly outgoing with people, but here he was—all desolate. He wasn’t cold, but he certainly didn’t seem inviting to the average stranger.

Even then, people did approach him. He abandoned the person I observed. He shifted into being incredibly outgoing to whoever wished for a simple conversation. I couldn’t honestly tell which face seemed to be more genuine. Maybe all of those faces were to an extent all genuine. It seemed to be readily easy for him to shift between keeping to himself and actively demonstrating camaraderie. There was something on his mind. Something that for a time, had made it so that both states were part of his being. One was to become a phantom and the other would be what he wished to show to others.

This probably marked the first moment I was interested in finding out more about Daichi Hasegawa. At that time I saw him as an interesting way to pass the time more than anything. I don’t think I can be blamed. I picked up on little things here and there. For example, he went out of his way to help assist people—helping the same elderly gentleman boarded off at our stop. He never faltered the responsibility he put on himself. He also seemed to noticeably smile to himself on our shared stop. I don’t think he had anything against trains, but obviously didn’t want to spend much of his time on one.

We walked on the same path most of the time. It was always uncomfortable for me to walk side by side with one of our school’s more outgoing people. I knew I could always make conversation with Hasegawa. He wouldn’t reject talking to one of his classmates, that much I knew. But I never was able to initiate a conversation. He picked up that I had the same route as him, but he didn’t seem to find it as anything but that. Then we went our separate ways. I could only observe his world, but I doubted that I could even interact with it.

I noticed him out and about when I was sent out to go to the store to get groceries or the occasional thing here and there. He was usually sitting on a bench outside of his apartment complex facing the playground just outside of the complex. He’d frequently be seen keeping an eye over his siblings as they played typical childhood games—tag, hide and seek, you name it.

He seemed pleasantly happy with this type of arrangement, he even showed that same smile he made when he looked forward to being closer to home.

He did this over spring on alternating days and much more frequently during summer. He was free and seemed to enjoy reading a light novel when given the chance. Occasionally, he would glance up and return to reading once he made sure his siblings were fine. He almost seemed to be fixed in that particular area. It was always like this day in and day out. On the random chance, a few people came by and talked to him before going their merry way. I would be lying if I said I didn’t want to befriend him to know this unperceived side of the Hasegawa.

I began to concoct a way in order to befriend him. I wanted to buy him something to combat the summer heat and I did end up buying a drink. But I feared approaching him while he was focused on the moment of it all. I can’t remember the amount of times that I tried to do this—a lot of my money was spent on drinks that summer. I couldn’t approach him in such an artificial way. I acted, prepared and retreated just to embrace this fact. But one day, I decided to end the superficial attempts at being natural and did something that was uncharacteristically like me. I approached him directly.

I remember it fondly. It was a particularly breezy evening, the rustle of the leaves kept silence at bay. The typical summer heat was nowhere to be seen, instead replaced by weather that would make someone inclined to wear a long sleeve shirt. My footsteps as I approached Hasegawa became more audible, but I felt as if I needed to command myself to ask him something. Anything at least. I wanted to question the illusive classmate that sat so fixed in his own world. The same world my mind wandered towards.

I asked him a simple question.

“You’re Hasegawa, right? The guy who sat next to me in Mrs. Suzuki’s class last year?” I asked with my best attempt at sounding curiously surprised.

“Oh… Wait… You’re Miyazaki? It’s been a while since school’s been out, right? If I remember correctly…”

He asked me things such as how I've been, future summer plans, things like that. The way that he took a genuine interest in my life reminded me a lot of the interaction between old friends meeting again. I opened to him a lot, giving a lot of detail about the questions he asked, and he seemed to really appreciate it. We were nearing a dead end in the conversation as my mind encroached towards what I had been wanting to ask all this time.

“I’ve seen you here quite often. I just can’t help but notice when I leave my home and head out. Is there… a reason why you seemed so tied to this place?” I questioned him.

He seemed to pause a little. I doubt that he’d expect someone to ask him that question and he seemed unprepared to answer the question.

“Well, isn’t it obvious?” He answered almost immediately, tossing his head back while telling me.

He spoke in such a warm candescent tone. He crossed hands and sat them gently onto his lap. Maybe he had an answer already waiting for me. It seemed to be a matter of who’d ask and when.

“It’s not really the place that matters to me… If you’ve been really observant you’d realize that everywhere my siblings go, I follow.” He said while shifting his look towards me as he spoke, almost giving somewhat of a mischievous expression.

“The playground just happens to be where they like spending all of their time. I don’t have a problem with the place. Just as long as we’re all together.”

He left out a huge sigh. It was likely something he pent-up after a while. He tilted his head to face his lap as he continued with his answer. He continued on.

“It’s just been a weird mess recently… It’s something that really mattered to me and my siblings that sort of vanished in a fleeting moment.”

"It’s a thing that I can at least try to comfort my siblings and myself with. After all… I can’t help but feel guilty if I don't help them out at least.”

Something consequential seemed to have happened to Hasegawa with others noticing. Perhaps, it wasn’t because others weren’t perceptive, but rather he might’ve chosen to hide his emotions. It didn’t take a friend to notice his recent behavior, but someone seeing him when he let go of the act. It just seemed to explain what I’ve noticed about this outgoing person.

“I thought that I was doing others a service in trying to put others before me. I don’t think it’s the same in this case…” He continued on.

“It just seems that the people who know me more than just a friend have that same issue kind of gnawing at them.”

“I’ve wanted to be strong for them, because well… they deserve it more than anything from their big brother.”

He then seemed to pause for a bit. Hasegawa seemed to be baffled at the fact that he was seemingly open with the fact. I can’t tell what he was thinking… But he seemed to have made an important decision at that very moment. Something that gave him a sudden resolve. He then turned to me and gave me an incredibly warm and welcoming glance.

“It’s a little bit reassuring in a way… I don’t know where it comes from or why but I have you to thank for that.” He said while keeping the glance he gave me earlier.

“I’m assuming that you’ve been watching me for a while. I’m surprised that you haven’t said hi or anything like that. Just kinda seeing things from the outside.”

“I think most people would think of this kind of behavior as unusual. But I don’t really see it that way. You seem to have good intentions. Maybe I’m basing it off that or something. I have no clue… ”

“Some people might consider your attentiveness as some kind of stalking.” He joked while trying to contain a laugh that seemed to be targeted towards my apparent lack of awareness.

“From the way you’re making it sound, you make me out to be some kind of socially-inept guardian angel.” I said defensively.

“Haha, I guess so…” He said as he seemed to be nearing emotional exhaustion.

He continued onward.

“I’m starting to think they’re picking up on why I’m doing this for them. But I’m going to pretend that I’m none-the-wiser. I think it makes it easier for everyone.”

He put his head down again.He seemed to have a person that saw him struggling and have their help. What I could do was just limited. I, as a stranger, probably wouldn’t be the best person to draw sympathy from. Afterwards. I asked him the typical things a teenager likes— our favorite games, light novels and mangas, and movies. We just stopped talking about everything else at that point—almost as if we had never even discussed it in the first place. It was already an hour and the sky began to take on a dark shade of blue, so we called it that.

“Hey… Miyazaki. Thanks for listening to me. Let’s talk soon, here I’ll give you my number.” He said in a more relaxed voice than before.

He wrote it down on a gum wrapper he carried in his pocket. He’s very resourceful at least. He then waved a final goodbye before grabbing his siblings by the hand. I called my mother to tell her my whereabouts and she was rightfully upset at my lack of warning. I told her about the new friend I talked to in the playground and her mood seemed to noticeably shift away from her upset demeanor to abject curiosity. She questioned me about that person, who I actually knew little about. I guess she wasn’t the only one in my family with a fascination towards that peculiar character of a person.

To this day, I haven’t found out what could be troubling Daichi. It’s something that I’ve respected his boundaries on. I shouldn’t press him for details and should just let him tell me when he’s more ready to tell me more about his past. Besides, our friendship is not based on our ties to the past or anything as steadfast as that. We enjoy each other’s company that’s all.