Constructing a Triangle With Reference to Three Friends—Point B (Hinata Miyazawa)

I became more involved with Daichi’s friend group, and became familiar with friends within the group. Some seemed to be long time friends. However, there was one girl in particular, Hinata Miyazawa, who was unlike others within the group.

Miyazawa is something of a walking contradiction. She’s also a character that stands out in her own right, while maintaining a timid ambiguity towards others she’s unfamiliar with. She has short brown hair that was incredibly voluminous, and her brown eyes seem to emit a radiance towards the people she was incredibly comfortable towards. Whether what she portrayed to others in either group seemed irrelevant. The dominating part of her presence was the quiet personality that came naturally to her rather than her moments of intense extroversion.

She was someone who was incredibly close with many people in the group at first glance. But most of the time she kept to herself. She was noticeably more reserved when compared to the more outgoing personalities in our friend group. We both shared that trait. In terms of knowing her, I couldn’t determine many things about her. What I learned about her came from others talking about her. I got to know that she helps out at her parent’s bakery, but other details about her life would just be speculation.

It was like this for most of the few weeks of school. I learned that she could be incredibly animated whenever she stood for something. Perhaps, my initial perception of Miyazawa lacked the complexity that I should’ve given her credit for. She approached me a few weeks into the school year. I gathered my things into my book bag and prepared to head down to the library. On many normal days I would walk to the train station with Daichi, but I wanted to reserve some time to study. As I began to exit the building I felt something pulling the back of my uniform. I jolted back at the fact that it was Miyazawa tugging the back of my uniform.

“Umm hey, Miyazaki… I have a favor to ask from you.” She said in a voice that stood between determined and nervous.

From what I had seen during lunch, she really wasn’t confrontational. Her face revealed that she has second thoughts about getting my attention in this manner.

“Jeez, don’t scare me like that Miyazawa… What is it?” I responded while recovering from the sudden shock.

“I need your help with something really important…” She said to me in a voice that didn’t try to attract attention.

She said with a strained pause, but regained a little bit of her composure to continue on.

“But you can’t let anybody know about this, promise?”

I had a bad feeling from the beginning, only then was it really intensified at that very moment. We had hardly spoken to each other and we were finally in the stage of friendship to which we did favors for one another. I wanted to hear her out at the very least. I had doubts it would be anything major.

“Oh… Uh… I mean, sure. I can keep a promise. So what’s up?” I said, still stunned.

“This isn’t the best place to discuss it… Are you able to walk with me for a little bit?” She told me retaining her desire for discreteness.

I realized then, this could be more trouble than it was worth. But I couldn’t find it in myself to try and bolt out of the situation. We walked beside each other in an uncomfortable silence towards the schoolyard. We probably weren’t going to be alone, but it was much better than having to listen to fragments of this seemingly important favor. We arrived shortly, much to my relief. We found a secluded part of the schoolyard that gave off shade towards the bench we decided to sit on.

I really began doubting whether I should be involved with this. It seemed as if Miyazawa was some kind of informant giving me crucial information to save the world or something like that. But, I suppose it did add to the seriousness of what she wanted to ask from me. Once we sat down, there was another noticeable silence. She wanted to take her time to say what’s on her mind. I didn’t mind it at all. I just sat there awkwardly admiring the environment as discreetly as I could.

Miyazawa was embarrassed from the moment she brought me here. I thought that I at least owed her to get her to talk about what she had been wanting to talk to me about.

“Why do you need my help? I don’t think we’ve known each other long enough to really be giving out favors.” I said brazenly.

I wanted to put distance between ourselves. I wasn’t entirely onboard with helping. I had to hear her out at least. It’s the least that I could do. Maybe I went ahead and helped her because if I was her I’d want someone to listen to me as well. I was all ears, but entirely undecided in my mind.

“Yet you’re still hearing me out, you’re sitting here with me, aren’t you?” She said so with a mischievous smile.

Any guard that I had put up to get me away from this situation just vanished in a moment. I was left dumbfounded and defenseless in any way to get me out of this situation. I was left mystified at her voluntary rotation of emotions. Left curious at how she left a noticeable impression—At how she could take control of the conversation. I was sure I was trapped in my world of qualms. If I wanted to stop myself from prancing into her trap, I had to put distance between ourselves.

“I have the time, that's all that there’s to it. So… What’s this favor about then?” I retorted.

“You know Daisuke Kinoshita, right?” She said as if I were being interrogated by detective Holmes himself.

My mind sort of drew a blank when she asked me that question. At that point I could only just guess who she was referring to. I described that tall scrawny guy with light brown hair that I found sitting all by his lonesome. I couldn’t be too sure. All I knew about him was that he existed and seemed to interact very little with people in my class.

“I’m going to assume you’re talking about the guy who sits by his lonesome, then you are quite correct.” She said, carrying a smile trying to hide her discontempt with my lack of detail.

“Well, what about him?” I questioned.

Her self-confidence seemed to reset after I spoke those words. It took her a while to articulate what she was dying to say. She eventually got it out, but not before facing the opposite direction to likely hide her face.

“It’s just that… I want to get closer to Kinoshita… Truth is, I’ve tried on so many occasions. It’s really dumb if I’m really thinking about it. I need someone to help me to finally amass the courage to do so.”

“That’s easier said than done, right? You’re not that close to him. What’s my role in this anyways?” I stated what seemed to be obvious and most pressing to me.

She took a step back at my audacity and turned pale in an instant. Then like that she returned with a load of self-confidence. The emotions this girl can go through are really frightening.

“Well I’d like for you to become his friend, so that you can introduce me to Kinoshita.”

“This entire plan is kind of based on something that I don’t ever see being a reality. Besides, why can’t you be the one to get to know him?” I said, failing to see how she sees it's anything but implausible.

“Huh? Are you that dense or what?” She decried in a stern tone.

“By the end, he’d think of me as a friend. It means a lot to a person if someone they know suggests ideas here and there. Ones about love, what have you. It’s not that hard to understand.”

She had said the entire thing as if I was the one lacking common sense. I was still failing to understand how she couldn’t notice the obvious flaws within her plan. I have no clue what goes through her mind. Even if I probably brought up more problems, I doubt that it could change her expression—one on the verge of praising herself for her “ingenious plan”. With so much uncertainty, it was unclear where this almost fanatical self-worship came from. I sighed, segwaying into my most pressing question.

“But again. Why rope me into all of this? Other people would be more inclined to help than someone like me.” I inquired.

“True… It’d probably be a lot easier to convince them. I’m sure it’d be a lot easier for me and this ‘other person’. But the truth is, I’ve already tried seeking their help.”

“They’d certainly be a lot more enthusiastic about helping me than a certain someone.” She said while glaring at me menacingly.

“They weren’t able to help much. They wanted me to be direct, but I didn’t want to be confrontational. They’ve just tried so many things that weren’t going anywhere.”

Miyazawa tried her best to brush off these past attempts. She wanted to smile while explaining the pressing question I had on my mind. I know I can’t speak for her or anything like that. But it seemed as if she was carrying the weight and helplessness these experiences brought her. Even to continue with failure, I could still see the resolve she carried remain unshaken. She seemed as if she was willing to suffer for something that I saw as unattainable.

“I’m not willing to give up… Not yet. I still haven’t exhausted my options since you’re here.”

“I have to continue to try…”

Miyazawa went silent. But it felt reassuring and perfectly natural. She gestured to me to pick myself from the bench and to follow her. As if she still had more to say. I couldn’t decline, nor did I carry the uneasiness from before. I walked beside her. She stopped next and walked behind a bike rack down from the school and held it firmly as if to prepare for a declaration.

“I would be lying that I also didn’t have any other ulterior motives…”

“I’ve been observing how you and Daichi grew so close with one another in such a short amount of time.”

“It’s been on my mind for a while. Most of us have known him since childhood. But out of nowhere you suddenly appear.”

“I couldn’t ask Daichi about it, but I do want to know. So that’s why I’m asking you. It would mean a lot to me if I could know what kind of person you are."

“I bet someone close to Daichi is sure to be someone who you cannot forget… Maybe what I’m saying is just an elaborate way to say… Could I be your friend?”

She gripped onto the bike rack as if her life depended on it. She was staring at me with curiosity and a hope that I could deliver. That I could grant her assistance and the answer she’s longed for. I couldn’t respond to the situation. I was… a bit flustered when she asked. But that didn’t seem to matter. I can only seem to remember her smile as ran away, heading towards her home in the direction of the sunset.

I’m guessing she felt accomplished and proud at the fact she held herself up so firmly. She quickly disappeared into the horizon. I had a lot to think about while on my walk back to the train station. I kept returning to thinking about her ambition. She could get what she desired most or helplessly end with little to show for her efforts. I wanted her to be selfish. I knew I wanted to give her the opportunity to learn about me. It was as if her determination managed to rub off on me.

It was probably a while after I returned home that I texted Miyazawa.

Me: “You ran off before I could even respond.”

Hinata: “Whoops… Apologies for that…”

Hinata: “I assumed that you’d want to go along with what I said.”

Me: “I don’t think I gave much of a strong indication…”

Hinata: “You say that, but you’re going out of your way to text me now. I’ll let you tell me your answer. Though I probably know what it is at this point.”

Me: “Huh… can you really? Then In that case, you know what my answer is.”

Hinata: “Aw c'mon… Please tell me…I REALLY have to know if you’re fine with it.”

Me: “Alright, alright…”

Me: “I’ll go along with this. I’m curious where this is going to lead towards.”

Hinata: “Finally… You’re finally starting to use your brain.”

Me: “On second thought—”

Hinata: “You can’t just bail out of this, you’ve already agreed!”

I let out a sigh since there was no turning back at this point. But I was enticed to look to see how this would go. Our interest in each other’s lives and the questions that surrounded them seemed to be one of things that we could definitely say that we shared. I hoped that throughout all of this I could seek the answer to who she was as a person. That following weekend, we began the march towards developing our strategy over text. It was productive not counting the several hours I was scrutinized.

The plan was centered on Kinoshita and his involvement in our school’s basketball team. He didn’t seem to interact with people from our class, but whenever he had the chance to leave, instead he seemed to meet with friends from other classes. I would accompany Miyazawa afterschool to see the basketball team practice. I would try to get close to Kinoshita on Hinata’s behalf through conversation.

It was a meticulous process in every sense of the word. Every single action had meaning to the overall part of the plan. Every word I uttered, every movement presented towards others, and time spent for these actions all had a greater purpose. It was a constantly adapting script that reacted to what we chose to reformulate and analyze. After dropping by and doing this, we texted with one another about how to go about this. Something planned down to the smallest increment was going to be our friend or foe, depending on how we chose to go about this.

We probably spent several weeks with the endeavor. There were many moving parts of the plan that gave it an unworkable complexity. But I believed in Hinata and made the most out of a bad situation. We were going to get a breakthrough sooner or later. Maybe I continued because I didn’t want to believe our effort was all for nothing. We reached a glimmer of hope by the end of those weeks. It marked the time that Kinoshita noticed the deliberate attention we placed on him.

Previously, We would come to Kinoshita whenever he was free. We would talk about seemingly random things. I guessed he just appreciated that someone had an apparent interest in many different things. But this was different. Kinoshita had made the effort to seek us out. It meant that the countless nights spent augmenting the plan were finally starting to see a definite end.

“I’ve been noticing that both of you recently have been coming to watch us during practice. You guys must be really passionate about our basketball team.” He said with a small and genuine laugh.

“Huh…I guess you could say that…” I replied somewhat bemused.

“You probably should put a little more energy into your enthusiasm though.” He suggested.

The whistle blew and Kinoshita was about ready to return to the court before I could begin to talk. I knew that simply talking wouldn’t be enough to try and get his attention. So over the past few days I suggested to Hinata that she should make something for Kinoshita with her parent’s bakery. We went back and forth about what she should bake and eventually landed on making a random assortment of baked goods.

I guess she wanted to go the extra mile and brought them to practice in a well decorated basket, with a large red ribbon on the side of the handle. It was all or nothing for the past couple of days, so it wasn’t that significant in our planning. Though baking was a process that should be best described as voluntary torture. I was unfortunately a victim that saw the baking process from start to finish. As such, I do not feel that I need to elaborate more unless I wish to have nightmares until the following month.

Hinata wasn’t that confrontational so I made the effort to bring the basket to Kinoshita before he would leave practice for the day. It was far simpler than anything that preceded it. I mentioned that it was a gift from Hinata as a way to acknowledge the hard work he put into practice. I went on to tell him about how much it meant to Hinata and myself since she was the reason why I stood around to talk with Kinoshita. He seemed less surprised to receive it but still retained the appreciation we sought. I could see him look towards Hinata, who pretended not to notice his gaze.

He wanted to give his thanks to Hinata and told me to stay afterwards with her so that she could hear it directly from him. I returned back to the bleachers and told Hinata how Kinoshita reacted to her gift. She became overwhelmed with joy, that it probably started to distract other students sitting near us and even the players themselves. She put her hands on her lap and waited anxiously towards the end of practice. We didn’t manage to talk after that since she seemed really busy thinking about what to say to Kinoshita.

The final whistle then blew and everyone started to head outside of the gym or the locker rooms. It was then that Kinoshita headed towards Hinata and gave the most sincere thanks a person could give a person. It went on for a few minutes when a fellow player tapped Kinoshita on the back to hurry up with what he was doing. He apologized to him and went back to small talk with Hinata. It finished up afterwards and she seemed a little embarrassed on Kinoshita’s behalf for the brief interruption.

I think after that evening, they started to talk without me needing to guide each other towards one another. I was glad that it was something I could put behind me. As for what I got from the experience, I think I was taken advantage of in that regard. I grew closer with Hinata and while I knew a little more about her, our friendship didn’t really deepen in that aspect.

Instead we did things that friends did, removing all our personal selves in every interaction that we had. Our friendship was a fact, it was self-evident and something that couldn’t be disputed in the ways that it mattered. We were friends, people who still talk to each other many days. It puzzles me to this day as to what kind of person Hinata Miyazawa is… Perhaps she’s just an unknown variable, possible to explore, but tedious at that. I’ll keep trying though. I’ll be the one to admit that questions in math are far easier to solve than ones about the people in my life.