Too Lucky

“What do you mean you have no idea?”

“I mean, the only thing that’s changed about me is I can talk,” I said, “You’re the distinguished war strategist from the academy. I’m just a stat menu who knows how to make numbers go up efficiently.”

“...Did you double check?”

“Yes.”

“So what was Diane saying about us being unstoppable?”

“Like I said, no idea.”

Vivian sighed.

“Alright,” Vivian said, “I don’t know what game Diane is playing, but that doesn’t change the fact that she’s charging in danger. For now, just keep an eye out for me?”

“Okay. I’ll do my best.”

Up ahead, the dense foliage of the forest that protected Vivian and the others began to fall away. A few moments later, Vivian and her cavalry burst through the clearing between the trees and onto wintry plains. The rebels of Kapur loomed above us on the hills to the right, while the soundless crumbling city of Arcadia lingered to our left.

“There she is!” Guin pointed.

Further down the tree line, Diane and her enchanters rushed forward from the shade, sounding their charge with the trumpeting of war horns. The noise caught the rebels’ attention and their soldiers rushed to their stations, shifting the direction of their war machines towards their new target.

“Everyone!” Vivian bellowed, “To me! We’re going to skirt below the hill.”

Meanwhile, Diane’s enchanters fanned out in a line, with their grand enchantresses alone at the head of the formation. It was hard, even for me, to tell what was on Diane’s face. But for some reason, I imagined her with her usual devilish grin.

Diane raised her left arm in the air as the rebels fired. At this range, the deafening roar of Kapur artillery pierced through both my ears and heart.

A loud snap reverberated in response. Something on Diane’s hand glowed and shattered into shards. From the crystalline fragments burst forth a battlefield-sized aegis with one of the many constellations of this universe branded upon its translucent surface.

Infernal detonations rattled across the surface of the magic bulwark, which shimmered and buckled, but remained otherwise steadfast.

“The Astral Rings,” Vivian breathed.

A second salvo slammed into aegis. But this time, the shield cracked and splintered apart. A number of missiles dove through the broken gaps and smashed into the advancing line of enchanters.

I was sure many of Diane’s enchanters were powerful in their own right. But whatever barriers the other enchanters knew how to cast mattered little amidst the plume of fire and smoke that engulfed them. Explosions rippled across the hill, shattering sections of the charging line and pulverizing loose grass and gravel. Even the reverberations from the blasts threw rider and horse to the ground and left clouds of dirt hanging in the air.

Another snap, and another jewel on Diane’s hand burst into starry fractales. There, above the charge emerged another aegis, born with a different constellation upon its face, born to weather the unyielding assault of cannonfire.

“She only has ten of those,” Vivian murmured, “We have to hurry. Climb everyone!”

Vivian banked her horse to the right and began the ascent up the hill. She drew her sword, its sharp edges gleaming in the sunlight, and motioned for her company to follow. Above us, the rebels were quick to notice that a new brigade was converging on their flank. One of the artillery pieces began to shift away from Diane and her enchanters.

“Uhh,” I said. “Vivian, one of them is looking at us.”

“Spread out!” Vivian screamed.

The riders behind Vivian broke out of their tight formation. A spark of light flashed from the barrel of a rebel cannon and before I heard the boom, a sleek projectile sailed by us and crashed into the bottom of the hill. Some of the horses jolted with fear, kicking off their riders and bolting away to escape.

Again, the rebels above loaded their artillery with explosive shells. To our right, Guin Veridian kicked her spurs and took the lead in the charge.

“What are you doing?” Vivian shouted.

Guin held out her hands, which radiated with resplendent light.

The rebels fired again. As the missile barreled down the hill, golden tendrils surged from Guin Veridian’s open palms and plucked the missile out of the air as if it were an insect. The shining vines wound themselves around the projectile and crushed it into golden dust.

Even the rebels didn’t know how to react. At this distance, I could see the soldiers manning the artillery glancing at each other with nervous concern.

In one last attempt to disperse the incoming charge, the rebels fired one more time.

This time, from the angle of the cannon and the burst of light just ahead of us, I could tell that the missile was speeding right towards Vivian. Time slowed down again, and I wondered if it was another trick of the goddess. I could see the missile’s sleek metal body and its pointed head, inching ever so slowly until it was mere meters from Vivian’s body.

Was this some phantasm of death showing Vivian and I our last moments?

No. It wasn’t, because in the next second, the missile veered off course in an unnatural arc. Vivian ducked instinctually (though, had the missile sailed true, it would’ve been too late) and braced for the blast that echoed from the base of the hill.

“Whoa,” Vivian gasped, “I could feel that one. That was close.”

“Lucky, more like it,” I said.

“Let’s hope our luck holds then.”

Vivian then raised her sword and rallied her troops with an encouraging yell. The cavalry charge crested the top of the hill and rammed into the forces assembling there. Horse and rider met the grounded sword, rifle, and spear, and Vivian’s unit trampled through the front ranks, causing fear and chaos among the soldiers manning the artillery.

“Emily,” Vivian cried, “Capture the guns. Everyone else, with me!”

The maid veered off from the initial charge towards the battery of guns still aimed down the hill. She dismounted her horse with a leap and engaged the soldiers below her with fists and feet shrouded in blue flames.

Many of the rebels broke rank, terrified by the stomping of hooves and the sight of golden limbs snagging and tossing their comrades around like measly twigs. But the experienced rebels stood and held their ground, tackling riders off their horses and forming tight formations to stall the charge.

“To the flanks!” Vivian bellowed.

A loose spear dug its head into the side of Vivian’s horse. The beast screeched a terrible cry and reared violently. Vivian tried to regain control, but the animal lurched backwards and flung her off the saddle. She tumbled to the ground.

“Vivian!” I yelled, “You gotta get up!”

“You don’t think I know that?” Vivian snarled, clutching at the dirt with scratched hands.

One of the fleeing rebels noticed Vivian on the floor. Perhaps it was because she was a woman, but this rebel seemed to regain some iota of confidence and brandished his sword to fight again.

“Look out!” I cried.

My warning came too late. Before Vivian could even turn to face her killer, the man was upon her and flinging his sword arm down. I could almost see how she would fall before it happened.

But the sword didn’t strike Vivian.

It missed, and it missed by a wide margin too, with the sword buried in the dirt almost a full foot away from Vivian’s head. The man stared perplexed at his own arm. He then lifted his sword arm and slashed at Vivian.

And again, he missed.

This time it was Vivian’s turn to look confused, but she had enough sense about her to scramble forward and tackle the man. The soldier lashed out with punches and kicks, none of them ever connecting with anything but thin air, while Vivian wrestled the weapon out of his hands.

Weaponless, the soldier threw himself at Vivian.

Or, rather, I assumed he was aiming for Vivian, but the man merely tackled the air right next to her and crashed into the ground. Unfortunately for the poor fellow, he was trampled by another horse before he had a chance to get up.

Then, before I could even contemplate how strange that encounter was, a group of rebel spearmen converged on Vivian and thrust their weapons at her. All of their spears, however, as if in agreement, swerved to avoid Vivian as if she was a plague.

These were metal spears, and they swerved.

Even Vivian, in the midst of the ongoing battle, raised an eyebrow.

But this absurdity was all too familiar to me. I realized then what I had unleashed upon this world, and I heaved a defeated sigh.

“Yup,” I said, “I get it now. Haha, real funny Diane.”

I inspected Vivian's attribute menu while the rebels continued fruitlessly to stab Vivian with their impossibly malleable spears. I wasn’t worried about Vivian’s safety anymore. I would likely never have to worry about her safety again.

Vivian’s stat menu appeared mostly unchanged, save for a few key words and phrases along the interface.

First, was the phrase “Specials Unlocked” at the top right corner, which I assumed was a result of having removed the curse.

Second, was the word “MAX” next to Vivian’s luck stat.

And third, but most importantly, was the special ability that was unlocked after having maxed the attribute. The special ability read:

“Dodge - Grants one hundred percent dodge chance to the user.”