March 1: Crushed Dreams

First Name: Satoshi (聡)

Last Name: Kamizaki (かみざき)

Age: 16

The career plan paper stared back at me, its blank lines were demanding answers to questions about my future. I had been lost in contemplation for hours, pondering the seemingly limitless paths ahead. But were there truly as many options as it seemed, or was it all just an illusion?

After high school, what should I do? In theory, I could find a job. Living in Tokyo, it shouldn't be too difficult. Or I could pursue a university education, earning that coveted piece of paper and being spoiled by approximately four more years of home-cooked meals. But was I really free to choose between these two options?

My parents, modest workers with an average income, didn't attend university themselves. Yet, they expect me to follow that path in order to easily elevate my future salary. So, one option is already discarded.

Within the realm of universities, there are two paths to consider: liberal arts and science. Statistics show that in Japan, 72% of students enrolled in science universities are males, while in liberal arts, males account for only 20% of the total. Mathematically speaking, it seems highly probable that I would choose a scientific university, especially considering my interest in computers.

Career plan complete: enroll in a Computer Science University and find a job at a random IT company. Simple enough. But why am I left feeling unsatisfied? There's something that nags at me. Why did our teacher impose a maximum word count of 500? A couple of lines would have sufficed. And why did she give us a whole month to complete the paper when it should only take a few minutes of rational thinking?

Lost in my thoughts, the bell rang, snapping me back to reality. I realized I had wasted most of the second period wrestling with my own questions. Thankfully, my friend Hayato jolted me back to the present. With his untamed light brown hair, Hayato always stood out in a crowd.

"Satoshi? Hey, Satoshi, are you alright? Spacing out as usual, I guess."

"Oh, sorry, Hayato. I'm just a bit tired. Did you say something?"

"Well, I was wondering if you'd like to walk home together and maybe stop for a drink at a café."

"Isn't today your club activity day?"

"About that, there's something I'd like to talk to you about. Are you in?"

"Sure, give me a second, and I'll be ready."

I already knew what was going on. Hayato was a skilled basketball player and had often shared his dreams of turning his passion into a career. He always spoke about it with an infectious enthusiasm, and I sometimes envied his unwavering determination.

But over the past couple of weeks, I had sensed a shift in Hayato's mood. Having known him since elementary school, I could easily tell when something troubled him, even if he tried to conceal it.

I reached out to the basketball club, and they informed me that Hayato hadn't shown up for practice in over two weeks. The last time they saw him, he was in a conversation with the coach in his office, and later they were told Hayato would be taking a break for medical reasons. Now, he had finally decided to confide in me. It can’t be anything good.

I gathered my belongings, and we left the school building together. As we stepped out onto the bustling streets of Tokyo, the cool March air embraced us, reminding us that the world outside continued to move forward."

At the café I got confirmation that something bad had happened to Hayato.

"So, this condition affecting my right knee won't allow me to put too much pressure on it. It's not a problem in daily life, but anything more than that becomes painful. There's not much that can be done, not even surgery can fix it."

In these kinds of situations, I never knew what to say. I pretended to be oblivious to it all.

"Sorry for keeping this from you, but I wanted to share the news only after confirming that nothing could be done. I used to believe that anything was possible, but now I’m confronted with the harsh reality."

Breaking the silence, I blurted out the only thing that came to mind.

"So, what are you going to write on your career plan now?"

In hindsight, I realized how foolish and insensitive my question was. I didn't know how to navigate these situations, even under normal circumstances.

Hayato looked at me, his eyes empty, devoid of their usual spark. With a faint voice, he replied:

"I... I don't know."

After that, we decided to call it a day and headed home separately. Lost in my thoughts, I mulled over how to apologize properly to Hayato the next day. Before I knew it, I stood in front of my apartment door, the weight of the day's events still lingering in my mind.

As soon as I opened it, an incredible aroma enveloped me. Remember when I mentioned home-cooked meals? Well, that’s because I have a chef at home, my younger sister Miyo, who was two years younger than me and had already mastered the art of cooking. Meanwhile, I struggled to make rice in a rice cooker.

"I'm home."

"Welcome home, big brother! Dinner is almost ready. You took your sweet time today! Did you finally go out with a girl?"

As I stepped inside, I replied briefly, trying to avoid any further questions from Miyo, as I wasn't in the mood to revisit the events of the afternoon.

"Dream on. I was just with Hayato. We had a coffee, that's all."

"And here I was, ready for you to introduce me to your new girlfriend."

I knew she cared about me, and I cared about her too, but sometimes she could be a pain.

"Cut it out, you know that's not my thing."

After changing my clothes, I headed straight to the kitchen, where my sister, wearing a pink apron, was ready to serve dinner. Inquisitively, she asked, "Everything okay at school?"

Sometimes, I felt like the little and spoiled one in our sibling dynamic.

"Nothing out of the ordinary, Miss Kamuro, our homeroom teacher, gave us a career plan paper to fill out."

"Oh, cool! Have you decided what to write yet?"

"I think I'll just say that my best option is to go to university and pursue a career in the IT field. Nothing too extraordinary. What about you? I bet you would say something like, 'I aspire to open my own restaurant'?"

"Well, I'm not sure yet. I still have time to decide," she replied with a mischievous laugh.

"That's right, you still have time..."

And so, we sat down to eat dinner.