The Reality

She clutched at her throat still trying to regain her breath, still coughing violently.

“How many people died, monster?!”

“We’re vampires, we need blood to survive.” She muttered. I stood over her.

“Then why the hell am I still alive?” I asked, Aiyana’s eyes widened. Her lack of a response was enough for me. I was ready to take my leave, storming out of this hell.

“They would have died either way.” She called out, stopping me in my tracks. “We never attacked villages. The only people we took were either lost, dead or dying. What else could we have done?” She asked. It was a question that agitated me, as if picking off the few was any sort of consolation.

“Every single one of those people were just like me, they had a family waiting for them back home, they had people that cared about them. They’ll never get to see those people again, they’ll never get another chance to say goodbye. All because of you.” I could feel my eyes well up. I very easily could have been one of these poor souls, I’d have lost everything and for what?

“Y’know what I noticed in your father’s research?” I asked her. “Not once did he try to find another way. There was research on all sorts of things like ways to raise plants and how to keep the armoury stocked, yet there was nothing for a different feed.”

She didn’t respond, just hanging her head in silence.

“That is what separates us. I refuse to become a monster like you.”

I stormed off. From the last glimpse of her, she looked slightly dejected, hanging her head with a glum smile.

*-*-*

I spent the next few hours at the cliff side, trying to catch a glimpse of Grimoire, hoping that this was all just a dream I would wake up from. I spent so much time wondering what Myra and the old man were up to, wondering if the cure was made and if my baby sister was finally back on her feet again. Wondering if she had asked about me.

The outburst earlier was still fresh in my head, still gripping me. Just thinking about it made my blood boil, but I knew that my body didn’t agree with my words. Ever since I was reborn, I’ve craved the lifeblood of another… I would have quenched that thirst had I not stopped myself, but that took every ounce of my will. “Can I really resist it again?” I asked myself. After all, I was still fresh then, and with all likelihood, it would only become more and more difficult, my thirst would become more and more insatiable.

“No. Getting depressed here won’t solve anything.” I told myself. I needed to stay strong. There had to be some other way. Zaharia Nightshade didn’t have any notes on alternative food sources, he never tried. I wouldn’t be like them, I was going to find a way to cure myself, “I will not give up my humanity.”

*-*-*

There were only so many things I could think of munching on that didn’t immediately sound like a stupid idea. Ultimately it boiled down to two options, animals and plants.

The Nightshade’s had an extensive collection of wild flowers and plants but none of them would be considered edible for a human but, I wasn’t exactly one at the moment.

Long story short, everything that entered my mouth made a swift escape, some also ended up leaving me with sores, at least I learned that vampires weren’t immune to poisons. Unfortunately the only other noteworthy discovery was that chewing leaves left me with a strange craving for mother’s cabbage soup. Though, I’d imagine if I tasted it now it would disagree with me.

That left just one other option. Meat. This was when I decided to try my hand at night hunting, it went swimmingly.

Even after a good hour of trying nothing showed up, although I did start “practising” after 45 minutes, which just so happened to break all but one of my arrows so results all round.

When I got bored I just sat there remembering all the food we used to have as kids. Which didn’t really do my stomach any good.

Another hour passed like this, and I was ready to call it quits.

Yet, just as I was getting ready to pack up and throw a fit in my new room, the wonderful sound of hard work paying off rang in my ears.

*-*-*

It was a rabbit, caught in a makeshift snare I’d made earlier just in case my skills as an uber archer failed me.

Neck snapped, skinned and drained. As easy as you like. Rabbit was a very popular meal in Grimoire, elk was hard to come by and anytime a Hunter managed to not only survive, but also kill and prep a bear, we held a festival… we didn’t have many festivals, lots of funerals though.

That being said, I was well acquainted with the taste of rabbit meat, rabbit blood on the other hand was a whole other story. There was one Winter when I was little in which we were low on supplies. A good portion of the crop had been killed by a parasite, leaving our harvest on the small side. To compensate, we had to use every bit of any kills we got, that also included blood. I remember trying something called “Red Stew”, I saw it twice and the second time was when I was throwing it back up.

I tried the meat first, cooking it on an open flame, thinking of good accompaniments like sage or garlic… wait, scratch the second one. It was as ready as it was going to be, looking nicely charred. In it went. Nice crunch…little soft in the middle…very juicy… yep “I’m gonna hurl” I whined, as I felt something coming back up.

Well, meat was off the table, and lucky me, I was left with the fun part. “What’s the worst that can happen?” I asked myself “Vampires drink human blood, how could this be any worse?” I had lulled myself into a false sense of security and found the courage to down it in one… Ah yes, a lovely texture of glue and a taste of rust that just wipes away the moisture from the mouth. Long story short… I looked like I coughed up a lung.

*-*-*

So, weak, weary and whiny I sat in the darkness breaking the bow I had just made. “Damn it.” I cursed with bile, thinking about the “storage” room again, about what I was being forced into. Was my only option really to just give in, become the monster I feared and lose my humanity?

I had decided to give in, the sun wasn’t far from rising and I’d had enough for one day. There was something strange that caught my attention near the castle, a feeling of impending danger. It was a light, too soon and too dim to be the morning glow. I soon realised what was quickly approaching the Nightshade estate.

It was a lantern. For the first time since I had become the living undead… we were not alone on the mountain.