The Fear

I felt that I shouldn't have been involved that day, that I shouldn't have been there at all. However, I couldn't disappear because I wanted to support my friend. Once again I understood that Ronald was right. His words left a painful mark on me and kept coming back to me, roaring in my head.

Camilla heard Zoey crying in the bathroom and she knocked anxiously, asking if she could come in. I made sure I could look in there and saw the artist sitting on the edge of the bathtub, holding a piece of plastic in her hands and gasping for breath in a sea of tears. I wasn't sure what it could be, but my girlfriend seemed to understand what it meant.

"I'm crying with happiness, the result is negative," Zoey whispered. “My period was late, although I was careful… I was scared that I might be pregnant, that it might be Micheal's baby."

Camila didn't say anything, just rubbed her back, trying to help her calm down. She had a serious expression on her face and I wasn't sure what she was thinking.

"It's probably the stress," she made her judgment. "You've been eating poorly lately, too, and your health has deteriorated a bit. You need to start taking care of yourself again, Zoey. I know you've had better days, but we're worried about you." She locked her in a tight hug. I wanted to join them, but I knew it wouldn't be a pleasant experience for them. I unquestionably shared Camila's opinion. "I'm your friend, so get on the couch now and wait."

Zoey complied politely and she went to make hot cocoa. But I saw how she could barely keep from crying on their own. I wanted to touch her shoulder, suspecting that she was feeling remorse for not noticing sooner and not being able to help her sooner. They sipped their drink and sat under the blanket in silence for a while.

"Feeling a little better?"

"Yes," Zoey replied. “But I don't know if it won't be the same in a few days."

"If you want, I can go with you to the doctor to confirm that you're not pregnant."

"I'll think about it, thanks for the offer."

There was silence again, I just watched them, wondering what they were both thinking about. The topic was serious, and I was inspired to try to remember what I thought when I was still alive. I guess I assumed that starting a family and having kids would just be the natural progression of things. I didn't think about whether I wanted it or if I would even be a good father.

"Do you remember when we had this plan in school that our children would also be friends with each other? I haven't changed my mind, I want children, but now I want to find the right person even more. What about you, Cami? It can't work anymore, right?"

I got up a bit, curious as to what she would say. I wanted to tell her that if she wanted it, I would support her, even if it meant her being with another man. After a while, however, I withdrew from this assumption, I knew that these were just words thrown to the wind. My girlfriend smiled sadly.

“Zoey, I knew from the beginning the consequences of a relationship with Tristan, including the fact that I would never have children with him. And from the beginning I said that I am aware of them and accept all of this," she replied. "I'm sorry I ruined our common dream."

"Okay," our friend smiled. "I'll have a bunch of children, and I'll make you godmother of all and a free babysitter!"

Although Zoey tried to say the last sentence with full seriousness, after a while they both laughed first and then cried, throwing themselves into each other's arms. I walked closer and waited for Camilla to pay attention to me, then I asked if everything was okay.

"Yes, that's absolutely enough for me," she whispered in response.