Yori-chan reporting on my room

Anxiously, I begin moving toward a closed, wooden door at the far end of the corridor. I'm mentally preparing myself while Koyori follows me closely while radiating with excitement.

How would she take the utterly messy state of my room? Would she thrash me for it or laugh at me like she always does? Knowing Koyori, she'll probably just say it's so 'me' to have a messy room but still… I kinda wanna die…

The thought of all the worn clothes and underwear sprawled across my room makes me want to travel back in time to clean it up ahead of time. I haven't been able to do something about my mishap earlier either. If Koyori sees this, that’s one thing. If Mom finds it, I might as well just bury myself in the sandpit at the playground or get isekaied…

I'm giving the door an awkward push as I feel the jolly bundle of excitement behind me jump from one foot to the other in anticipation. The huge mess immediately catches my eye.

Oh crap, I've left my doujins lying around in plain sight!

"Keiichi, let me see, let me see!"

Koyori can hardly contain herself as I turn around, blocking the door by spreading my limbs.

"Uhh, on second thought, I should clean up first…"

My friend doesn't seem to care though.

"Then let me help you," she offers, sweeping the floor with an imaginary broom.

"That's not really the issue, you know…" I argue weakly but no amount of persuasion can stop Koyori's childish excitement anymore.

"Stop blocking the door now and let me see your room, Keiichi."

"B-but it's not safe right now!" I retort in a rising panic as Koyori initiates her first attempt at getting past me.

"Oh I see, if it's a game I know just the thing to get past you," she announces boldly. A playful, slightly cunning grin meets my frightened expression as I desperately attempt to block the view into my Otaku paradise. What is she going to do now?

My friend doesn't leave me in the dark about her intentions for any longer than necessary. Cheerful giggling precedes her attack.

"Hehehe, your belly or your room? What's more precious to you? What are you going to protect, Kei-kun?"

Please no, not a tickle attack!

The invasion of my privacy becomes entirely secondary when her fingertips attack my stomach and side with a pattern of poking and tickling. For a few seconds, I can resist the urge to protect myself. Unfortunately, Koyori manages to figure out my weak spot.

"That's right, I remember now!" Yori exclaims proudly as she tortures me. "Your belly button is your weakness, hehehe."

Helplessly, I'm winding and twisting my body into a close approximation of an embryonal stance. Koyori pokes my cheek playfully before slipping past me without any effort.

“Yori-chan reporting for duty! Today we’re exploring Keiichi’s room! Yay!”

Shit, I should have seen this coming. What do I do now?!

Koyori spends some time getting a first impression while I'm catching my breath.

"It's messier than Yori-chan thought but it's pretty large."

Yeah right, add insult to injury… also, 3rd person?

My room is very large in theory but the lowering roof greatly limits the usable space. From our position, we're directly looking at a desk that's buried in empty snack and juice boxes as well as the occasional game.

A mouse I wouldn't want to touch if I didn't know it was mine as well as a keyboard filled with cookie crumbles stare back at me accusingly. Moreover, the 'You placed second' message is still hovering across the screen of my monitor. A sudden resurgence of anger makes me shut down the game immediately. I'm turning off my monitor as well because I have yet to determine if my weeb-y background picture is something Koyori's innocent eyes should see.

"Kei-kun's a gamer, huh?" she proclaims, positioning herself in front of me while striking a pose.

"Well, he really looks and acts the part, hehehe."

I roll my eyes in exasperation. How am I supposed to take this comment now?

Koyori's attention begins to shift to the bookshelves that are integrated into the entire wall left of our position. A few children's books, mere relics of a long forgotten past, are taking a small corner of the shelves while everything else is stacked to the roof with…

"Oh, so Keiichi loves to read? That's great, Yori-chan does too!"

Koyori beams at me, her hands selecting a random book from the selection. Contrary to her assumption, I'm not even that eager to read. Light novels are generally the best way to stay up to date with a series though. They're easy to consume and come with high-quality Illustrations.

"Wow, you must have over one hundred of these, have you really read them all?"

"Well, yeah," I answer curtly, still on maximum edge due to the state of the room and the many dangers Koyori might uncover.

"Kei-kun’s reading some uhm… funny books there, that's for sure…"

Koyori's excitement diminishes somewhat while randomly browsing through a few titles and cover pictures. I'm fairly sure there are some harem and Yuri books among those. Did she stumble upon one of those?

"Well, so Kei-kun is a gamer and loves to read, though his taste is a bit funny…" she continues, talking more to herself as if writing a memo about my room. She's about to turn her attention elsewhere when her gaze falls on some of the posters semi-randomly pinned onto the walls and ceiling.

Oh crap…

"Kei-kun has lots of pictures of older girls but they're all just comics, that's weird," she comments, throwing a questioning glance at me as if wondering if I secretly have an affair with any of those. She scrutinizes me for a bit, more and more shame accumulating in the form of hot blood rising to my face. Thankfully, her attention span is rather low and so we finally move on without dwelling on this.

"Kei-kun has a very large bed," her field report continues, completely ignoring the selection of figurines that are sprawled across yet another shelf above said bed positioned to our right next to the wall.

"I used to move around a lot in my sleep so my parents bought me this so I wouldn't fall out of my bed anymore," I preemptively defend myself before she can ask me any weird questions.

"Yori-chan is curious now if she can sleep together with her Kei-kun tonight."

What do you dream about at night?!

I'm about to question her sanity when memories of my own weird dreams come knocking on my door.

On second thought, this could backfire… I'm keeping my mouth shut…

“Let us interview him then,” she giggles while I’m beginning to puzzle just how long she’s going to keep this up.

“Don’t even think about it,” I warn her half-heartedly which appears to be enough to dissuade her.

“Interview denied, Kei-kun being a meanie.”

No, I just don’t know how to answer your question!

"Before Yori-chan can sleep here, Kei-kun will have to clean up. This is probably normal for boys but Yori-chan isn't entirely sure about that…"

Seriously, how long is she going to keep this up?!

I'm covered in sweat at this point, awkwardly tossing the most recent addition to the pile of worn clothes out of sight the moment she turns away.

I think she didn't notice. No, I HOPE she didn't notice!

Next, Koyori takes a look at the floor covered in wooden parquet that occasionally squeaks while walking.

"Yori-chan can't wait to sweep the floor, her cute white socks are already turning grey…"

She's rising one foot after the other, revealing the layer of dust the cotton of her socks has gathered already. A quick look at my beet-red face makes her laugh.

"Well, it's probably Yori-chan’s fault for not announcing her visit sooner, hehehe."

More like Mom didn't feel like sharing that piece of information, ugh!

Humming to herself, Koyori walks all the way to the other end of the room where my alternative gaming corner is located.

"Large TV and a sofa, Yori-chan can't wait for lots of movie nights with Kei-kun!"

She must have realized that I'm about to die from embarrassment as she scratches the terrible state of said sofa entirely from her report. Same as with my keyboard, it's easy to tell that I often have snacks at this place…

"Unknown technology detected, Yori-chan wants to know more about it."

Okay, she's starting to take this 3rd-person talk too far…

"Those are called consoles," I enlighten her, picking up one of the controllers from the floor.

"They're like a computer but only for games. You plug them into the TV, put a game into the slot, and play everything with this controller."

Koyori inspects the controller with its colorful buttons as if she'd just discovered a real unicorn. I'm beginning to wonder what kind of life she's usually leading if she’s never seen one before… I mean, dang, she's probably never played Yoshino Cart before, that's such a classic…

Suddenly, Koyori hands me the controller again, pirouetting around and laughing merrily.

"Kei-kun has a weird room but Yori-chan lllloves it here, hehehe."

A blurry mix of yellow and orange captivates my eyes for a while as Koyori continues to spin around.

How can she possibly like my room? What did I miss? Honestly, she's such a handful…

Hearty laughter is filling the room as Koyori gradually dances back into the middle part of the room where my wardrobe is located on the one side and several low shelves on the other, hosting my collection of anime, manga, and also…

Crap!

"Koyori, watch out!" I yell at her but my warning doesn't arrive in time. In her ecstatic dance, she fails to see a selection of magazines and thin books sprawled across the floor…

… and slips when stepping on one of them.