I'm getting headpats for touching her in questionable places?!

Shit, she's totally gonna fall!

As if in slow motion, Koyori's body is tilting in mid-air. Her feet are slipping away from me while the bulk of her graceful body is threatening to crash onto the hard floor back-first.

The throbbing bruise on my butt reminds me of the only thing that needs to be done now. Momentarily, all my beef about inter-human body contact becomes irrelevant to me as the guilt of getting my friend hurt predates my actions. Putting all my strength into it, I leap into the air.

Her body is falling faster and faster, her brittle arms thrashing around wildly, unable to break her fall. I stretch my own arms as far as I can, almost falling on my face in the process. Just barely, I manage to get a hold of her just shy of her head smashing into the ground.

My arms are aching as I make a connection with her sheer momentum but my determination allows me to use all my strength to stop her fall, get a proper grip on her and keep myself from falling over from the added weight.

For a few seconds, I simply remain like this, gradually maneuvering myself into a kneeling position to alleviate the strain on my back and arms. Koyori is lying in my arms, breathing heavily just like me.

I-I made it…

A brief wave of relief overcomes me until I gradually become aware of the most awkward way I'm holding the girl.

Koyori's butt is resting in the palm of my left hand, keeping her above the floor while my right arm is wrapping around her body. Not only am I essentially pressing her against me in a hug-like fashion but, in a grave turn of events, I find a suspicious bulge in the palm of my other hand.

AHHH, I'M TOUCHING HER B-B-BOOBS!!!

Through the fabric of her summer dress, parts of her undergarments become distinguishable against my skin which prompts me to drop her off on the floor immediately.

AH, I WANNA DIE!!!

Koyori repositions herself immediately, robbing onto her knees until she's facing me. I'm expecting her to slap me across the face for my accidental invasion into her intimacy, however…

"Kei-kun, thank you for catching me, you're the best!"

… she extends one of her arms to pat the base of my cap repeatedly while a smile is playing around her lips.

"There, atta boy."

It's a headpat?!

I can only stare at Koyori in disbelief, even forgetting to avert my gaze when she musters me in return.

Did she seriously not mind it? Others have gone to jail for groping someone else and I get the headpat treatment for it? Seriously, my brain is at its limit…

Koyori finally quits patting my head. I can't exactly say that I'm feeling any worse from the interaction between us. She was genuinely thanking me for catching her, I suppose. Headpats aren't nearly as bad as a hug, I guess…

"Yori-chan just almost slipped on a magazine Kei-kun had lying around but he rescued her, isn’t he kind?"

…she's back to 3rd person again, if she turns out to be Chuunibyou I'll throw her out…

Koyori leans over the magazine that caused her fall, now lying separated from a pile I immediately recognize.

Shit, she found the doujins I was messing around with the other day!

"Kei-kun has lots of weird stuff so Yori-chan is going to…"

"No, don't look at them, I beg you!" I yell in utter panic but it's already too late.

"... Investig… oh…"

Farewell, Koyori's innocence, you'll be missed…