Ups and Downs

The loud smack resounded through the living room. Soon the room was silent, with no breath or sniffle to be heard. Johnathan's hand tingled slightly as he shook it, a bright red spot on Florian's cheek. His endless patience had run dry, the frustration and anger on his face.

"W-what the hell?" Florian mumbled, his eyes wide in shock as he looked at Johnathan, who just glared.

Taking a moment to compose himself, Johnathan sucked in a deep breath that he felt rattling through his chest before he finally mustered the strength to speak. "Either you two hash this out, or Florian is leaving. No qualms if it gets loud. But no bullying."

Florian mumbled for a moment, his eyes looking away from his friends. "F-fine. Fuck dude…"

Nathan, his cheeks slick with tears, accepted a comforting pat on the back from Jessica before standing tall to confront Florian. The trembling of his clenched fists was almost imperceptible, but to Johnathan's watchful eye, it was a testament to the roaring fire of anger and sense of betrayal consuming Nathan. His eyes, gleaming with a painful mix of past and present hurt, spoke volumes about old wounds being reopened.

"How could you do this, Florian? How could you turn on me? I thought we were friends back then!" He spat out.

Florian's face contorted with anger and confusion. "Friends? I mean, maybe in the beginning. But we weren't friends! At least you were not! Not to me!"

Nathan's fingernails dug into his palms, his voice seething with hurt. "So you're the poor victim here? Poor Florian, who got his feelings hurt?"

"Yes! No… It's those poor girls. Fuck Nathan; you hurt many people with your selfish behavior!"

Nathan took a deep breath before replying. "Yet they wanted to date me for selfish reasons and dumped me. Because I wasn't what they expected me to be."

A moment of silence hung in the air before Florian laughed. "You strung them along, making them think you were normal! You're even stringing along Johnathan here!"

Johnathan stood there, a statue in the eye of a storm, his mind buzzing with counter-arguments. But he chose to remain silent; his lips pressed in a thin line. Nathan was vulnerable, but he was not a damsel needing protection.

"You are an asshole! You tore me apart and made me question my worth. I thought I could trust you. You were like family to me!" Nathan said, screaming, only to bite his lip in the end.

Johnathan's heart clenched at the raw pain evident in Nathan's voice. He glanced at Jessica, finding a similar concern mirrored in her eyes. He returned to the confrontation, steeling himself for what was to come.

"Family?" Florian murmured, then his voice rose, fueled by panic and anger. "N-no, no, no. You don't get to flip this on me! Do you think I wanted to hurt you? No, I was just trying to protect myself, to hold onto what little sanity I had left!"

"Protect yourself? You set up the entire school against me! You harassed me, tore me down, and made me feel useless. Well, sorry that I don't fit your narrow idea of normal!"

Florian's voice rose, his anger mirroring Nathan's. "Well, excuse me for being unable to handle your damn sexuality crisis! I was scared, Nathan. I fear what it would mean to admit my feelings for you. Scared of being labeled as something I didn't want to be!"

Nathan's voice cracked, tears welling up in his eyes. "Feelings? What the fuck are you on about? Do you think I wanted to be born like this? That I have no clue what Johnathan feels if he looks at me. That I feel like an imposter? Is someone just pretending to love? That I will never be able to return his feelings?"

Florian's voice softened, his anger giving way to a hint of desperation. "I never wanted to hurt you, Nathan. But I couldn't face my truth, so I lashed out. I pushed you away, thinking it would make the feelings go away. I was a damn coward."

"What feelings, Florian?" Nathan snapped back.

Johnathan involuntarily held his breath, the words hitting closer to home than anticipated. A whirlwind of emotions surged within him, each one more complex and painful than the other. For some reason, he just knew which words were coming.

"Love! Nathan, I loved you!"

As Florian's confession echoed in the room, Johnathan felt like time had slowed. He looked at Nathan, whose face had turned as white as a sheet, his eyes wide with shock. Then his gaze flitted to Jessica, finding her equally stunned. The gravity of Florian's words hung heavily between them, effectively silencing the room.

"You... loved me?" Nathan whispered, his voice barely audible.

Florian's face flushed with embarrassment, his gaze dropping to the floor. "Yes, Nathan. I loved you. But I was terrified of it. Of, well… me being gay. And then you just… you suddenly told me you couldn't fall in love with people. And I snapped. I loved you for three years, and then to be told you would never love me."

Johnathan watched as Nathan tried to make sense of his feelings, a surge of empathy washing over him. This was a messy tangle of unrequited feelings and miscommunication that neither had prepared for. He could almost taste the bitter tang of regret in Florian's words and the confusion clouding Nathan's eyes.

"I was confused, Florian. I felt like everyone around me described scents like flowers, the sea, or food, but I could not smell them. John showed me… that I don't need to smell. I can just be me, and that is fine." Nathan said, as his anger simmered down a little as he tried to explain his confusing feelings the best he could.

Florian's shoulders slumped, his voice barely above a whisper. "I was scared, Nathan. I was scared of what it meant to admit my feelings for you. Scared of being rejected, of losing everything. I let that fear consume me and took it out on you. I'm sorry, Nathan. I'm so sorry."

Nathan's anger began to subside, replaced by a sense of overwhelming sadness. "Sorry isn't enough, Florian. You can't take back the pain you caused, the damage you've done. You made me hate myself and doubt myself. I don't know if I can ever trust you again."

Florian's voice cracked with emotion, tears streaming down his face. "I don't deserve your forgiveness, Nathan. I don't deserve any of it. But please, please believe me when I say that I regret every hurtful word, every cruel action. Fear blinded me so much that I couldn't see how much I hurt you."

"I won't." Nathan's words rang clear, followed by a pause. Johnathan watched as Nathan seemed to gather his thoughts, his expression unreadable before he hesitantly continued. "For now, I can't. I can't forgive you, Florian. Not yet."

The room was filled with a deafening silence that seemed to linger in the air like a heavy fog. But amidst the crushing calm, a palpable sense of relief bloomed on Florian's tear-streaked face. His nod was slow, filled with the weight of regret and acceptance.

Johnathan drew in a deep breath, finally stepping forward to place a comforting hand on Florian's shoulder. His heart pounded in his chest, echoing the beating of empathy for the two men who had just bared their souls to each other.

"Alright," he started, his voice taking on a softer note as he addressed Florian. "We're going to order some sushi and start an anime marathon. In the meantime, why don't you take a shower? Feel free to grab some of my clothes to change into."

The atmosphere of the room seemed to shift, a tangible relief washing over them as they attempted to move forward from the heated confrontation. There was a hint of a grateful smile on Florian's face, a silent acknowledgment of Johnathan's attempt to lighten the mood.

"And I call dibs on Nathan." Johnathan quickly added, his eyes sparkling with mischief.

Nathan flushed at the sudden remark, his mouth opening and closing in a stuttering attempt to form a response. But before he could find the words, Johnathan scooped him up in a princess carry, a broad smile lighting up his face.

His heartbeat echoed in his ears as he leaned down, planting a tender kiss on Nathan's lips. It was a moment of reassurance, a promise of unwavering support amidst the chaos. He carried Nathan over to the couch, easing down onto the soft cushions with his lover cradled in his arms.

Their friends watched with a mix of surprise and amusement. Serena chuckled, her eyes shining with warmth. "That's one way to lighten the mood, Johnathan."

Jessica, however, was quiet, her gaze thoughtful as she watched the interaction. The softening of her features indicated a hint of approval. She took a deep breath, her gaze meeting Johnathan's across the room.

"We'll help with the sushi order," Jessica volunteered, motioning to Serena, who nodded in agreement. "You two, just relax for now."

Johnathan gave her a grateful nod, holding Nathan close as he watched their friends enter the kitchen. Amidst the upheaval of emotions and revelations, he found solace in their supportive presence. The feeling of Nathan's warmth against him calmed his racing heart. All he could and wanted was to cuddle the cute man in his arms and recharge his batteries.

"I hate you so much right now."

"I love you too." He said, subtly making a hickey on Nathan's neck.