Love and Shame

The anime marathon started, sushi was ordered, and Florian was banished to the bathroom. It had been a significant shock, but things had started to make sense.

The anime's vibrant colors and booming sounds filled the room, familiar Japanese voice actors echoing through the space. Nathan nestled into the couch, his eyes fixed on the television screen, trying his best to immerse himself in the familiar world of his favorite show. Beside him, Jessica was utterly engrossed in the animated saga, her fascination clearly on her face.

"Oh my god, this is so intense! I can't believe I've never watched anime before," Jessica exclaimed, her eyes sparkling excitedly.

Nathan could not help but feel a burst of joy as he watched Jessica fall in love with a genre he held dear. Sharing this world with someone else brought an extraordinary happiness he hadn't expected. The warmth in his chest surged, reminding him of the beauty in a shared experience. He felt a little bit proud of having converted another person and made them realize the beauty of anime.

Meanwhile, Johnathan's arm snaked around Nathan's waist, pulling him closer. He didn't seem particularly interested in the anime. His attention was solely focused on the man held tightly against his side. The man didn't bat an eye before he placed his lips on Nathan's neck. His lips brushed against the side of Nathan's neck, planting soft kisses that gradually turned into teasing nips, leaving hickeys that would likely be visible the next day. Nathan squirmed the heat from the marks and Johnathan's relentless attention battling with the cold anxiety simmering beneath his skin. Still, he couldn't bring himself to pull away.

Nathan couldn't help but notice Serena's burning stare. Her eyes were twinkling as she had an amused smile on her face. This was the first time she had seen Nathan like this, which wasn't strange, seeing that him being so unguarded was very unlike how he'd been in previous years.

A soft moan escaped his lips as soon as his neck was nibbled lips again. Causing his eyes to open wide and his cheeks to flush brightly. He was about to say anything to Johnathan, but the arrival of Florian, fresh from the shower, wearing Johnathan's clothes, stole everyone's attention. The man appeared taken aback by the sight of Johnathan being so openly affectionate with Nathan. His eyebrows shot up, a small gulp visible as he sat beside Serena. Nathan couldn't help but feel a pang of satisfaction at the surprised expression on Florian's face. The man had no right to feel disturbed after all he had put him through.

Screw him.

The doorbell quickly interrupted his thoughts. A sign that the order of sushi had arrived. With a sad sigh, Jessica paused the anime, giving them all a moment to set the coffee table and take a small break—time for toilet visits and stretches. Jessica quickly dashed to the bathroom as Florian went to answer the door. Nathan wanted to stand up to assist, only to be pulled back onto Johnathan's lap.

"Let them do it, Nate. I don't think I can stay sane without you near me." Johnathan said with a bright smile, a fiery passion behind his shimmering emerald eyes.

"Ugh. Fine. But don't do too much. I don't like it." Nathan spat out as he made himself a bit more comfortable on the man's lap.

Johnathan's hands quickly made their way to his stomach and waist. "You don't like me?" He whimpered softly.

"I-I didn't say that. This! I can't bear their stares, especially Serena." Nathan huffed back.

"Let them see. I want to show them how much I love you. That I care." Johnathan said almost ready, so strip Nathan to keep marking him.

Florian couldn't help but look a bit flustered as he put the sushi platters on the coffee table, doing his best to pretend that nothing was going on. He seemed confused and upset, probably still struggling with his feelings. He was probably finding it hard to believe this was the same Nathan he had known, harassed, and belittled in school. He seemed a little off balance, his eyes darting between Nathan and Johnathan, a strange mixture of confusion and disbelief on his face. His reaction only added to Nathan's satisfaction. Florian was witnessing a side of Nathan he had never bothered to see, throwing him off.

"I'll let you go under one condition," Johnathan whispered, his voice slightly too excited. "Let me feed you."

Nathan's gaze flickered to Johnathan, annoyance dancing in his eyes. The idea of being fed in front of others was utterly embarrassing, not to mention it felt incredibly infantilizing. "No way in hell." Nathan hissed. But Nathan sighed heavily when Johnathan's eyes sparkled, reflecting a hopeful yet playful glint. He had to admit seeing Johnathan's determination was endearing, even if it was for something as silly as this.

"Fine," he mumbled, his cheeks turning a shade darker. Johnathan's grin was dazzling enough to outshine the sun. Taking a pair of chopsticks, his lover delicately picked up a piece of sushi.

Johnathan's hand was steady, guiding the sushi toward Nathan's mouth. Nathan bit into it, struggling to suppress the shyness inside him. The taste was divine, but the embarrassment stole some of the joy. However, he couldn't deny that the intimate gesture, even if it was in front of their friends, tugged at something deep within him.

Jessica, who had returned from her bathroom break, couldn't contain her squeal, finding the scene utterly adorable. Serena merely chuckled, shaking her head at their antics. She had seen enough rom-coms to know a cute moment when she saw one. The sight was charming, and she couldn't help but admire their strength to overcome their past and be so open about their relationship.

Florian, on the other hand, struggled to process the scene. His eyes moved from Nathan to Johnathan, then back again. His brow was furrowed an unreadable look in his eyes. He seemed torn between shock, discomfort, and... was that jealousy? His gaze met Nathan's for a moment, then quickly darted away, his cheeks red. Nathan felt a prick of satisfaction. It was a tiny victory, a small 'take that' to his past tormentor.

Nathan couldn't entirely make sense of his emotions. Being the center of attention was overwhelming, stirring up anxiety and churning his stomach. But underneath it, there was a flutter of warmth, a deep-seated affection for the man trying to show his love, even in the most minor ways. Yes, it was embarrassing, and he still felt on edge, but beneath all that was a gentle thread of happiness. And that? That was worth bearing the embarrassment.

As he turned to Johnathan, his smile was slight but genuine. Johnathan's eyes softened, pressing a kiss on his cheek. For a moment, just a moment, Nathan allowed himself to lean into the affection, to enjoy the warmth and love being showered upon him. And even if it was just for a moment, it was a moment that showcased how far Nathan had come in trusting others, especially Johnathan, despite his past traumas. He had grown, they had grown, and even though it was a bit terrifying, it was also wonderfully liberating.

He knew they had a long journey ahead, with many bumps and twists. But for now, in this anime-filled room, on the couch with a man who loved him and his friends around him, Nathan felt safe. He felt loved, and he felt, for the first time in a very long time, genuinely happy.