Recollection. Part 2

My graduation in middle school went exactly as I’d imagined it would play out: boredom and nothingness. We’d stood in line waiting to receive a piece of paper I did not care for. Other students were excited to spend their break hanging out in the sun, playing with their friends. I was excited to get back into gaming, to spend the entire break doing what I loved. Though, I was beginning to adore Rugby. I was the star player in my team (we were not a very good school) and I enjoyed the tactical aspect of the game. But we were on break until high school began, meaning no rugby whatsoever. My grades were excellent enough to place me in the best school in the country. My father wanted me to pursue mechanical engineering, while my mother pushed me to go further into rugby and make it big. I didn’t want either of the two, I wanted to play games. I threw my schoolbag to the floor after a long day out. I wanted nothing more than to drink a coffee and turn on my console to play some games. I set aside my prized Fazio watch on my table, and sat in my chair, ready to play.

“I wonder if those guys are online…” I said to myself as I put on my headset.

I went into the game, Human-Hunter was my favourite purchase I’d ever made. I could not recall how many hours I’d spent playing it; probably over a couple thousand hours. In the game, I noticed two green blips on the ‘My Friends’ list.

“King and Blue are online!” I said excitedly.

I messaged the both of them, I hadn’t played with them in a few days and was itching to talk again.

“hey.” I wrote.

“Lawrence! You’re back!” Blue replied immediately.

“Hey Lawrence, let’s get to hunting.” King sent.

“Sure. Let’s go!” I sent.

For at least three hours, we played online with one another that day. I conceded that they were my only friends, and not just in the online sphere. We played other games together as well, ranging from racing games to fighting games. Though, King was a monster at fighting games, I never beat him in a single match. I wished I could speak to them through the voice chat, but they never owned microphones, so we just used text to communicate. We had been friends for over five years by now; we had started playing games together the day my mother bought Human-Hunter for me. I was twelve years old, but I never knew how old they were; I thought about whether they both were adults in the working world, that they played with a kid in their free time.

“Where are you from?” King had asked me one day.

“Britain, and you?” I replied.

“Japan.”

“Me too!” Blue added.

I was surprised they could send messages in English. I wondered if perhaps I should start studying to speak Japanese.

‘Could you teach me, Blue?” I asked him.

“Japanese? Sure, I could try!” He responded.

I was thankful that a game could connect people from all over the globe, I was able to make not one, but two friends. I was happy. I hoped to one day have the ability to meet them, especially Blue. Blue was sometimes busy, but when he wasn’t we would play for twelve hours a day during the weekends. I played even more games with King, but he wasn’t very talkative. We’d play games without sending each other messages, but I didn’t mind that, I was a non-talkative person in real-life myself.

“I’m tired now, I’ll check you another time, Lawrence.” King sent late in the evening.

“Sure, friend. See you tomorrow?” I asked.

“Yeah, tomorrow.”

And King went offline. Blue and I wondered around the game together for a while.

“This game is amazing.” Blue said.

“I know, the game is gorgeous.” I replied.

“Not that. I mean, the ability to speak with someone. From across the world. It’s amazing.”

“I thought the exact same thing.”

We continued walking around in-game. I wished to one day meet Blue in real-life.

“Hey…Lawrence….want to chat by E-mail?” Blue asked me.

“E-mail? Why?” I responded.

“So that we don’t have to be on the game to talk to one another. We could just send messages via email whenever we liked.”

I was happy, so happy. Someone wanted to speak more with me. I kicked my legs in the air when he asked me. And so, I gave Blue my email address.

“Thanks. I’ll message you soon!” He sent.

Blue went offline in the game. I decided to get a late-night snack as I awaited his E-mail. In the kitchen of my house, my mother sat, bundled in a wrapping of cloth and blankets. She sat at the table, enjoying a warm cup of coffee. I walked over to her in a rush:

“What are you doing out of bed, mom?” I asked.

“I just wanted to move my body for a bit.” She replied.

“I understand, but it’s not good for you. You need rest.”

“I know, I know. But I’ve been in bed all day.”

I rubbed my hands against my mother as I comforted her, taking a seat beside her.

“How is your strength?” I asked.

“Not good. I can feel myself getting weaker by the day.”

My mother was terminally ill. Cancer had spread from her blood to her entire system the previous year. We had gone through chemotherapy, but it was no use, the cancer had spread too quickly. The doctors said that she was unlucky…. My mother saw my anxieties strewn across my face. She placed her hand on my temple. Her smile was not as it used to be, it felt, cold, sick, tired. They had said she could live between three to four years, or even a few months. They could not say for certain how long my mother had.

“Let’s get you to bed…mom.” I said.

I helped walk my mother to her bed. Both of my brothers had moved out of the house, and my father worked extra shifts at his job so that we could keep the house and afford the medication for my mother. So it was up to me to look after her if I was the only one available. I tucked her in bed, kissing her cheek as she drifted off to sleep.

“Night, mom.” I greeted as I kissed her forehead.

I walked back inside my room. My computer had flickered, indicating a message had been sent to me. I sat down inspecting the message:

“Hey, it’s me, Blue.” He sent.

“Hi.” I responded immediately.

“Are you fine with E-Mails? It’s not awkward for you?”

“It’s not awkward. I’m fine with it.”

“Great…then, can I ask you a question?”

“Go ahead.”

“Are you a boy?”

I was stun-locked by the question. I looked down at myself. Then, replied:

“We both are boys, aren’t we?” I sent.

“I never said I was. I’m a girl!” Blue sent back.

“Oh.” I replied. I was embarrassed.

In all my years knowing Blue, I’d thought it was another guy. I’d told a girl about my whole life, all my secrets, and desires. Even the type of girl’s I liked. I put my hands in my face.

“Nice to meet you.” I sent another message.

“Lawrence, tell me your name…Your real name.” She asked me.

“It’s polite to say yours’ first.”

“I’m Hitomi!”