Communication Differences

Sunday, June 23. 1:05am.

- um hi this is crystal

The message finally appears. Yan covers himself with his blanket, careful not to let any light from his phone escape. His brother’s asleep beneath him on the bottom bunk, after all. A whole day practically wasted, but finally, Yan has found his chance to properly apologise through text… perhaps.

- yo

The characteristic double check marks appear immediately after he sends the message. Above, the status is clear: online. Finally, after that mess of an argument at the bookstore, the two meet each other online, protected by the veil of distance that hopefully, maybe, perhaps, things can be mended. Well, at least that’s what Yan thinks.

- what do u want

For something he waited a whole day for, Yan surprisingly has nothing to respond to that simple question. His fingers freeze above his phone keyboard, his mind blanking out for an appropriate response.

- … hello?

There is a clear impatience on the other side of the conversation. Anyone can see that. Still frantically formulating an answer, he types a single letter to pretend to be writing at least something, but nothing still comes to mind. Like being tongue tied in an awkward situation, the pressure mounts, and soon, Yan finds himself typing and deleting that same letter over and over again, unable to write even a single phrase.

- look

- idk what ur typing

- but im sorry

Straight and to the point. The words Yan struggled for so long to type, Crystal has just sent in a couple of texts. No essays, no convoluted paragraphs of explanations, only a blunt admittance of guilt. Something Yan cannot bring himself to do, as easy as it may seem.

But that’s enough for the barrier to finally crack between these two classmates. His fingers move slowly across the keyboard, deliberating a short response of:

- as u shld

Wait. That wasn’t what he was trying to say! As the double check marks appear again, Yan groans quietly in disbelief, not forgetting to avoid waking his family up even when he just gave a hugely entitled, arrogant answer, or in layman’s terms, being a dick.

Trying to amend this blunder, he frantically spams:

- NONONONO I DIDNT MEAN TBAG SOREY

Only for Crystal’s message to be sent first:

- what did u fucking say

Embarrassed, Yan buries his head in his pillow. Indeed, what did he fucking say? Any idiot will realise the message he sent then was immensely offensive and dismissive. Even if he didn’t mean for that at all, there is no way a sane person can say it to someone’s face— well it wasn’t at Crystal’s face, but the point still stands.

‘Jesus christ…’ Midnight brain power really hits differently.

- srsly, im sorry. for rn, for yesterday. rly, rly sorry.

He said it.

As the status ‘+852 9333 1246 is typing…’ shows at the top of the screen, he finds his body growing weak in fear or anticipation… or both. He bites and scratches his thumb, peeling a bit of the dead skin off to chew on it like gum. His palms begin to sweat, praying earnestly for a miracle to be pulled off.

- as u shld /j

- [sticker]

The three words along with an unrelated celebrity sticker appear on the screen. A chuckle escapes his mouth as he stares at his phone in relief. Somehow, despite that massive blunder a couple moments ago, the issue is resolved as if nothing much happened at all.

- thx… (idk what else to say)

- :,)

That’s all he can say to express his gratitude. His brain cannot even process the development of events.

In his previous experience and impression of Crystal, she irked him with her mannerisms in class, doing practically everything he’d never do. Answering every single question as quickly as possible? Check. Changing the topic every other minute to fit her train of thought? Check. Projecting her annoying voice? Check. There’s a reason he’d been avoiding her since the first day of school.

But this feels different. There’s still that bluntness, but she used it to straight up admitting her guilt without any hesitation. There is still some annoyance when he reads her messages, but that is now coupled with a sense of awe and gratitude at her quick forgiveness.

- btw

- what did u think of the story?

- huh?

The sudden change in topic catches him off guard. What is she talking about? With the apology over, the conversation should also be effectively over. At least that’s how he usually talks to other people. Crystal has no reason to continue talking to him, nevermind start a completely new topic with seemingly no relation to the apology whatsoever.

- jnk

Yan had never heard of that name before.

- …huh?

- jounai no koi

- im still confused

- DUDE

- r u stupid or r u stupid

- romance in the walls

- ring any bells now

Oh. That’s what she meant. On one hand, Yan feels as if he is the single most clueless individual on the planet, yet on the other hand, he can’t possibly blame himself for not knowing the Japanese title of a Japanese manga—

Actually he can. He should. It’s a surprise he went through the entire first volume without even knowing the proper title, frankly.

- oh. oops.

There is a brief pause.

- [skull] [skull] [skull]

- NOW u realise

- [sticker: idiot]

She just had to rub that in. Absolutely ruthless.

- well im sorry

- its fine LMAO

- [replied to: what did u think of the story?] so

- right right

Well… What did he exactly think about it? He really enjoyed the series, and if not for the mishaps before, he might be curled up in his bed scrolling through an unofficial translation of the manga already, pulling the covers over his head so as not to alert his parents.

But he didn’t really have much to say. ‘The main heroine is pretty’? That’s too shallow of a reason. ‘The atmosphere evokes a sense of nostalgia’? He wasn’t even born yet in that period, even if it did remind him of the narrow corridors and bustling scenes from his earliest memories in his grandparents’ tiny flat. ‘The story is well done’? Well, he’s only gone through the beginning so he has no right to say anything about the plot as a whole.

Stuck on thinking of a proper review, he ends up typing:

- it was rly good ig

No, that’s not it! He really did enjoy the story, so much so that he cannot find the proper words to describe it. Instead, his text suggests an air of indifference, literally screaming ‘idc’ vibes. In the end, he can only blame his own weakness to convey his thoughts properly in words.

- and?

- and uh the characters felt real

- yea

For someone chronically online, partaking in various ‘educational’ discussions on either Readit or Harmony, he has surprisingly little to say on text here. Where usually he engages in all-out warfare to make a point in the endless sea of messages, here it just feels too calm (despite his blunders earlier). To be fair, he rarely engages in dms, but even then he usually can engage in some sort of conversation. Better than face-to-face, at least.

So what’s happening here? Is he seriously intimidated by the process of speaking to an acquaintance over text? A medium where he’s supposed to be more comfortable with?

- DUDE IKR

- the way the mcs complement each other

- the vibe

- i was like ‘holy shit’

- just HNNNNNGH

That’s…quite the response.

- yea it was rly nice

And followed after that are yet another flood of texts, a majority of which in caps lock. To which he has absolutely nothing worthwhile to say. It’s not that he didn’t find the manga unappealing. He absolutely enjoyed every bit of the first volume. It’s just… Well, he’s not some literature expert, so of course he cannot put anything beyond the basic emotions into words. Added with the fact his vocabulary is usually limited with ‘bruh’s and ‘nice’s, what else can he do but cycle between these simple words?

Still, this feels pretty pathetic, doesn’t it? His fingers hover above the screen, but they can type nothing but reactionary words to her endless gushing.

The avalanche of messages suddenly pauses. Perhaps Crystal has finally run out of things to say. Yan sighs, checking the time. 1:30 am. Time really goes fast. He should probably sleep now.

Just as he prepares to turn off his phone and call it a night, a message appears.

What perfect timing.

- dude

- u wanna just call?

His phone begins to buzz, the screen immediately filled up with a single prompt:

Incoming voice call from: +852 9333 1246

‘Oi, oi, oi, oi, oi, you can’t just do that!’ Yan whispers frantically, nearly dropping his phone onto his face. This is risky business. Being on a bunk bed, the top bunk no less, any noise he makes is bound to possibly wake his brother up. And if he finds out the oh-so-obedient big brother is rebelliously using his phone in the dead of night, to talk to a girl no less… the consequences, needless to say, will be disastrous.

Accept? Decline? The two options hover before him, the phone buzzing annoyingly all the same. If he accepts, Crystal’s loud voice will surely make obvious noise in the room even if he turns the volume to a minimum. If he declines, he’ll surely be treated as disrespectful scum. Both are… not good.

There’s not much time to think.

‘Urgh…’

Just then, he notices his earphones leisurely resting on his desk. Wired, plastic, not noise cancelling, cheap. Perfect.

Oh, thank god.

Still holding his phone, he quietly descends the bed and grabs the sudden gift from God before making his escape back inside the safety of his blanket. And carefully, as he puts the buds in his ears, he swipes the green button.

Here we go.