A Ding

Preparing chicken is quite easy, first you cut out the spine, lay it on its back, and then like doing CPR, press down on the chest and let those ribs crack till it’s flat, but unlike CPR, you don’t start blowing air in it. Now with the chicken the way I want it, I start to smother it in a piri-piri chicken marinade that consists of mushed up spices, chili peppers, shallots, all sorts of stuff, and believe me I was having a hard time breathing in all those strong ingredients. Sofía had a little smirk when she saw how much I was struggling to withstand this spicy heat. Cooking has never felt so painful and embarrassing.

“You need some help?” Asked Sofía, who was relaxing on the sofa with Imani, still watching episodes of that Private Polliwog anime.

“I’m fine.” My voice wheezes before a cough. This task was truly a struggle for my intolerant tastes.

“If you say so.”

I move on to preparing some potato bites, or baby roasted potatoes, which is pretty simple, take some baby potatoes, slice them in half, boil them, season them a bit, drizzle some olive oil, and place them on a tray face down, add some melted butter, and bake. It feels like I’m getting carried away with cooking, but really it’s my favorite thing to do since it makes Imani so happy, and who doesn’t love food? I love my daughter and I love food. It just makes sense!

The journey to prepping this meal was a pretty long one, but it was well worth it. Whilst I waited for the food to finish cooking in the oven, I sat down with Sofía and Imani to rest.

“Is it done yet?” Imani climbed over to me and patted my head, possibly praising my good work, or just messing with my hair for no reason.

“No, but it’s on its way. Once the oven goes ‘ding’ we’re good.”

“Ding!” Imani mimicked me.

“You’re not the oven Imani.”

“The food is ready!” Imani took me by the collar and started shaking back in forth.

“No it isn’t, calm down Imani.”

She laughed maniacally. “Sofía, help me! Ahhh!”

Imani continued to shake my collar vigorously like those interrogation scenes in shows, but she isn’t strong enough to make me budge, which is why Sofía was called upon to assist, but because of how things turned out earlier, she’s reluctant to do so, even pretending to not hear, and keeping her eyes on the show as she sat in fetal position on the couch. This defensive position irked me, as I knew what was on her mind, but even so, she’s a much livelier person, and she wouldn’t hesitate to join if it weren’t for our circumstance, so I wanted her to continue being herself.

“Sofía, come on!” Imani tugged harder at my collar. “Papa won’t give food!”

“I think you should wait Imani. You heard your father. Food is still cooking.”

“What?” Imani was betrayed, and began to slow down.

She really wanted to play around, but since Sofía wasn’t joining her, there wasn’t a point, and so she lost interest. I couldn’t stand Imani feeling down and out because of Sofia’s tiptoeing behavior, so to crack this shell, I felt it was necessary to invite her myself, since I’m the reason she’s so stiff.

“It’s fine Sofía.” I look to Sofia with a smile.

She looked back at me curiously, examining my expression to decipher whether or not it was truly safe.

“Are you sure?” She hugged her legs tighter.

“Of course! I never said we couldn’t have fun.”

I was a little shy to admit it, but I want to make it clear that I do enjoy the time we spend together and wish to continue. Neither of us can forget what happened, and we’ll need to address it later, but for now it’s a truce, and I crave a little fun.

Sofía hid her face again, but the reason wasn’t clear. She then took a deep breath and looked at me to exchange a teary smile. I take that as a sign things were alright, and she’d loosen up a little. Immediately she crawled over to me and dug her hand into my collar.

“Where's dinner you scum!" Sofia yanked at my collar, her mood now wildly different from before. "We're starving over here."

Imani didn’t understand what we were talking about, but when she saw Sofía start to move in for support, she became lively again.

"Scum!" Imani copied.

The constant pulling and pushing made me dizzy, and the two of them were having a blast.

"It's still in the ove-" I held my hands up to surrender.

"Excuses!" Sofia interrupted me, shoving me back.

I'm not sure what game this really is, but they're both really into it. I guess I'm being interrogated over some food, like the villains in the show did to Polulu over an ancient weapon. I think it's really cute seeing Imani reenact scenarios from that anime stuff. Although interrogation is a little on the mean side of things, so I hope she doesn't become too rough at school. Makes me wonder who's really the villain in their little school role-play game.

"Hold this for me sweetheart." Sofia took out her phone and turned on the light, then handed it to Imani.

"Bwah!" Imani shined the light into my face, making it hard for me to see.

"Aw come on! Is this really necessary?" I squinted back at the light.

"Yes!" Imani and Sofia both shouted simultaneously, making me wince.

"Everything is necessary for food!" Sofia clenched her fist and gave a face of relief, as if sending a divine message.

"Everything!" Imani turned the phone, under lighting her face as she spoke, then turned it back to me.

“Well you’ll have to do more than that to get food out of me!” I played along with their act, pretending to be a tough guy and fake spitting in their faces.

“Now you’ve said it!” Sofía stood up. “Imani. Keep an eye on him for a moment.”

“You got it!” Imani saluted.

Sofía left to retrieve something while Imani stayed put and watched over me. We were mostly silent, and Imani was struggling to keep her focus.

“Papa.” Imani was already exhausted from her duty, resting her head on my chest.

“What’s up?” I patted her head.

“I love you Papa. I'm sorry.” She hugged me.

I guess she was apologizing for the interrogation as if it were real. My heart can never get used to this.

“It’s fine Imani. I’m having fun, and I love you too.”

Sofía came back with a devious grin as she held two objects, a sleeping mask, and something she kept hidden behind her. "Good job keeping him still. Now we can commence part two."

"Part two?"

"That's right!" Sofía slipped the mask onto my face and blinded me.

Whatever design was on the mask made Imani burst with laughter.

"Now stand up!" Sofía commanded and I complied hastily. "Hands behind your back!"

"Am I being arrested?" I put my hands behind me.

"By the intergalactic food police. Yes!"

There was a pattering of the plastic chain to the dummy cuffs she held before I felt it wrap around my wrists and lock shut.

"Intergalactic?"

"Innergalapick!" Imani spoke in awe. "What is that?"

"Means we control the world!" Sofia locked her arm with mine.

"Za warudo!"

"Exactly."

"Who put you two in charge?" I scoffed.

"Shut your mouth. You're coming with us perp!"

"What'd I do? Where's my lawyer?"

"You don't get those in space!"

"We're in space now?"

Sofia lead me by the arm around the backside of the sofa, then turned me around and brought me to where we started. It was like some imaginary trip where we didn't actually go anywhere.

"We've arrived at the intergalactic food police station!" Sofía sat me back down on the sofa. "Now to really get some information out of you."

"Information? I've already told you all you need to know."

"That's what they all say, until we use our secret information getting method."

"Pft, and what could that be? Threats don't work on me."

"You'll see." Sofía chuckled menacingly.

"Whatever."

I was left sitting in silence while they plan their approach. The rising tension as I prepared myself for what was to come made it hard for me to stay still. Were they gonna put a cold water bottle against my neck? I shivered at the thought. Were they gonna stick something wet in my ear? I'll scream! No, I'm a tough nut to crack. There is nothing they can do. Coworkers have tried to scare me during Halloween, but could never make me flinch. Well that's probably because I was at work.

"I'm waiting." I yawned from boredom, which was entirely contradictory to how I felt inside.

Two sets of hands crept up on my waist, each finger tip pressing in, making me shudder. I could tell which ones were Imani's and Sofia's by the difference in size and the long nails of Sofia. They began to grab at my sides and I jumped in place, letting out a girlish yelp. This was one of my few weaknesses, I’m very ticklish, and they took full advantage of it.

“Stop!” I laughed hysterically, squirming around on the sofa as they tickled me. “I beg you!”

“That quick? You talked real big earlier. Thought you’d last a little longer.” Sofia condescendingly lambasted me as she continued the tickling frenzy.

"Give us food Papa!" Imani screamed.

Struggling to breath and tearing up, I hit my limit shortly after and fell off the sofa to the carpet floor. That was more than interrogation. That was torture! A new scar on my life that I'll forever hold against Sofia.

They stopped the tickling and presumably looked down at me in my ruined state.

"Is the carpet nice?" Said Sofia.

I whimper. "Very..."

“Now tell us where the food is at, or we’ll do it again.”

“It’s probably done soon.”

“Soon? We want it now!”

“Yea!” Imani jumped onto me.

“Please, not again!” I wailed. 

“Prepare yourself!” Sofia’s voice closed in.

“Nooo!”

Ding! The oven timer sounded off before I met my fate.