Just a drizzle

Woah, the couch is so soft. Even though I’ve laid on it numerous times, it still retained that level of comfort as when it first came. Nothing beats doing absolutely nothing on a Monday afternoon.

Even though my senses are telling me to continue, I just can’t force myself to work on something that won’t lead to anything. Seeing piles of drawings and writings on the floor made it even harder for me to find motivation.

“Ah.. the ceilings are wonderfully designed.”

Was it Dad who designed it, or Mom? It could well possibly be someone else. No, no. I’m sure as hell that Dad designed it. I can very much see his touches among the details. They all fit into a place; everyone has a purpose.

Everything is so silent here, fitting in with the gloomy clouds beyond the windows. Greyed to where it showed no hints of blue. Sigh “It’s definitely going to rain tonight…”

Within the darkened room, I remembered her words. “It just depends on who’s sitting on it, huh.” Maybe I’m looking at all of this wrong. If a change of perspective would help then I would’ve done it a long time ago.

“What does it mean to be someone else?”

How do actors do it? They’re able to play different roles so easily. To be someone other than yourself is a thought I don’t usually think about. Probably because it’s too complicated of an idea to understand.

Ideas…Ok. I think I know what might help. As I walk towards the stairs, the sky flashes multiple times, making the hall brim with white lights for but a second. “Ok, now I’m feeling a bit cold.”

“Excuse me, Dad. I’m coming in.”

Wow, this place is amazingly well-kept. Books are organized in their rightful place and the floor is shining up to the windows themselves.

“You should clean once in a while, Dad. Mom is busy enough.” Smiling ever so brightly.

Now then, where is it? He must’ve kept it somewhere around the boxes here. Salvaging through piles of journals and pictures, I landed on the book I was looking for. White spine and gold strip, that’s just like him.

The book titled ‘Eyes for Sculptures: Ryusei.’ I don’t exactly remember when he started writing it, but the book appeared to be a bit worn. Some pages have wrinkles and have yellowed along the corner yet the pictures from within are clear and well preserved.

“Alright Dad, give me a hand here.”

I realized along the chapters that the intention behind most of his works was vaguely described. The feelings and emotions that go into each of the pieces were so intense that I couldn’t keep up with my own.

Inspiration appeared random as well, yet it connects with his intention as if one day the idea just pops into his head that aligns with his goal.

But it isn’t that simple. Through the notes, he drafted out plans and his own ideas before the inspiration hits. “He knew what he wanted…”

What he wanted... I’ve seen his pieces up close before but seeing them aligned together like this hinted at a familiar pattern. They shared a common theme, almost as if they were all the same person with different masks.

“Ahh, this is frustrating! Can’t you just simply tell me the reason why you made them?”

That’s it. This is not the book I should be looking at. Even though it tells me the intention behind the pieces, it doesn’t tell me about the reason behind those intentions.

“Maybe a personal journal.. but where is it?”

I have no recollection of his personal journals. I mean, why would I? But someone like him definitely keeps one.

The wind pushing against the window sends chills down my spine. God, how’s the door even creaking when the windows are all shut... Even so, minutes passed by without a sign of the journal.

“…It’s alright, maybe he doesn’t keep things like that.”

After all the searching.. I’ll have to make do with what I have. The book itself taught me how to properly look for details, but the most important thing was that he had a reason for each specific piece…

“A reason for each piece...”

I remembered well why I started in the first place, but is that all there is? Wanting to create a perfect piece, isn’t that what I want? Yes…but there’s nothing, all of it doesn’t work, so is this all I want?

What is it that I truly want?  No, what is it that Ryusei Akio wants?

“I... don’t know.”

For a moment my body feels lighter, as if the weight had been lifted off. “I may not know what I truly want, but right now I want to thank someone.” That’s what I’m feeling now, that’s what I want to do.

This time it wasn’t the flashing sky that woke me up, but the sudden beating of my heart that did.

“Wow, I’m feeling a bit cold after all!”

“Now then, paper and, there!” “Hmm, what represents…Ah! Right.” For once I can see a road ahead as I scribble away at the paper. It should bring out my ideas and emotions perfectly!

My hands hurt from all the drawing, but I’m glad it did. For a moment I thought my brain had jumped out of my head when I closed my eyes, but woah, finally I’m finished.

“It’s 4:00 now…Okay, I’ve got time. I should have her take a look before I make it.”

“Damn, outside does not look good at all.” I think it’ll be alright if I hurry, I’ll bring an umbrella just in case.

The scent of fog lingering around the surrounding was the first thing that hit me. I don’t mind having to walk down since I needed this anyway. With this kind of weather, you could only hope that the phone works.

“No way... It’s like a festival down there.” From up here, only trees and a road that stretches. Maybe we should install more lights around here, it’s getting creepier by the day.

By the time I’m down, the clouds have already started dripping a bit. “It’s fine, just a light drizzle.”

“Gramps!”

The restaurant isn’t too busy, so it’s alright! I tried to minimize my volume anyways.

“Akio! Two days in a row…you must really want to see me.”

“Yes, Gramps. I do. But I-”

“I know why you’re here, Akio. Unfortunately, she’s not here today.”

“…..”

Oh god, my heart skipped a beat.

“Don’t worry, I’ll tell her you stopped by. So tell me, why do you want to see her?”

“Gramps, seems like your skill has dulled.”

“I’m a cook, not a mind reader, son. So tell me.”

“I wanted to thank her, so I made her something and I’d like her to have a look first.”

“Really now! That’s good to hear, Akio. I’m sure she’ll appreciate it.”

“I know, Gramps. I know she will. Thank you.”

“Don’t sweat it ago. Since you’re already here, stay till the rain stops. I’ll wipe something up for you.”

“Tempting, Gramps but not today. Thanks though.”

“Well then. Be careful on your way home.”

“I will. I’ll see you later!”

Leaving behind the warmly lit place, I could still see his smile inside my mind. “Haaa, it’s going to be a tiring walk."

Sigh. Let’s see. Today I’ve got exactly nothing that I wanted, such irony. It’s fine, I’ll just have to finish the piece and then give it to her. Even though I would like to have her look at it first to see whether she likes it but there’s nothing to be done about it.

Little by little, it starts to pour hard. Gramps was right. It’s earlier than expected but oh well. “Luckily I brought an umbrella, but god will it hold?” Shiver makes its way around my body as I dearly hope that it does...

“It’s going to be a long night.”