Ishimoto Rie (July 28th)

    We sat down at the restaurant. We sat in silence. A waitress came up. 

   "Hello, what can I get you today", said the waitress. She seemed to be in her early twenties. She was very pretty. 

    "I'll just take some rice", I said. I looked at the girl across from me. She had her head down. 

    "And you?", the waitress said looking at the girl. The girl stayed quiet. 

    "She'll just have rice to. And water please", I said.

    "Alright! We'll have your food ready as soon as possible", the waiter said cheerfully. She gave my companion a weird look and walked off. 

     "So", I said trying to start a conversation. The girl looked up.

     "You wanna know why I was up there?", the girl asked.

     "If you want to share", I said. I don't know if I mentioned this but I am a very forward person ussaully. Alot of men can come off creepy if their to forward, but I've never been told I'm being creepy. People often tell me I have a friendly voice and face. 

    "I was trying to kill myself", the girl said.

     "May I ask why?", I asked.

     "I don't know", she said. 

      "You don't know?", I asked curiously.

      "Well I do but I don't", the girl said.

     I wished I could understand but I couldn't. At the time I knew so much but so little about people's behavior.

      "Well do you still want to kill yourself?", I asked. She flinched at the words "kill yourself". 

     "I- I don't know", she said. 

      "I see", I said. "I promised I wouldn't stop you from killing yourself so I won't say anything to anyone"

     "Thank you", the girl said. She spoke quietly, but she had an elegant manner. 

     "Does anyone know you were trying to kill yourself", I asked. Once again she reacted to the words.

      "No one does", she said, "I uh ran away from my home yesterday"

      "I see", I say. "Do you not feel guilty leaving your family behind", I asked. I think the question sounded rude but at the time I didn't notice.

      "Well... I dunno", she said a tear rolled down her cheek. 

     As she said that the waitress approached again. I believe she read the situation because she silently sat our food down and walked away.

      As I began to eat my rice I noticed the girl didn't eat hers.

     "Aren't you gonna eat?", I asked. 

    "I c-can't pay you back", she said. 

     "You talking to me is plenty of payment", I said. And it was. I loved talking to her.

      "I can't accept that", she said pushing the bowl of rice away.

     "Alright then, tell me your name. In exchange you can have that bowl of rice", I said looking into her eyes. Her eyes were very pretty, though the rest of her face was probably slightly above average looks.

    "Ishimoto Rie", she said. "You can call me by my first name which is Rie." 

     "Okay Rie, it's nice to meet you", I say, "My name is [name is not important]"

       "It's uh nice to meet you, [name is not important]", she said.

       "Rice is yours now you payed for it", I said. 

       The girl took the rice. She started eating it quickly. She looked very skinny when we were walking, it's likely she hasn't eaten much in a while. 

     As we ate our rice lots of questions formed in my head. I had never interviewed someone who wants to kill themself before. She was unique in that aspect to me.

     "I uh wanted to y'know do it, cus I make the world a worse place", she said. 

    "Oh?", I said. My thoughts at the time were "Does she kill people", "does she pollute the ocean". Those were just two things that make the world worse.

    "Yeah a buncha kids at my school told me to just die, and I.. well I don't ussaully wanna kill myself often but I saw the bridge and thought-" she said before she stopped talking. 

     "I get it", I say, "you said you ran away from your family earlier. Where have you been staying?", I asked. 

     "I was in a nearby alley and on the bridge", she said. 

     "I see.", I say. At this point we've both finished our rice. 

      The waitress came over soon after and set the bill down. I paid for both "meals" and walked out the door with Rie. 

     "Are you going back to the bridge", I asked her. 

     "I d-dunno", she said, "I don't want to die, b- but I don't deserve to live." 

    "I get that.", I said. I never experienced that feeling before, but I can understand why she felt that way.

    "I'm going to go back to the bridge and decide", she said. She started to walk off. I felt an odd emotion all of a sudden. I felt like I would regret this interaction. I pulled a peice of paper outta my wallet and a pen.

     I ran to Rie. "Hey!" I hollered. It was dark by now.

      She turned around. She froze. When I got to her I handed her a piece of paper. 

   "H-here", I said out of breath. "If you decided not to kill yourself contact this number. And if you need a place to stay my address is there too", I said before walking off. 

    Rie stood there. I walked a bit more and looked back and she headed towards the bridge again. 

    "I wonder what will happen to her", I said thinking out loud.