Chapter 36:

I can’t think straight.

Light of my darkest eve

It was a regular, miserable college day for me. The lecturers were just as boring as usual, I was just as alone at lunch as usual, and my motivation was just as low as usual.

Truly, a completely unexceptional day in every aspect. Until these fuckers reared their ugly heads.

“What does the dickhead quartet want with me today?”

“Is that any attitude to have towards your superiors, Taro boy?”

“Superiors? The dirt under my feet is superior to you scumfucks. I don’t wanna hear a word of what you have to say.”

“And yet you don’t have a choice.”

These four have been harassing me for months at this point. They took an ‘interest’ in me after me and the ugliest of the four both went after the same girl. She rejected us both, unsurprisingly, but the shithead never forgave me for not just stepping aside and letting him have her, as if she was just some damn trophy he had the right to.

Now they seek me out every now and then. Sometimes to steal from me, sometimes to keep others away from me, sometimes just to harass me for fun. They truly are the lowest scum I’ve ever met.

“Do you four bastards never get bored of the relentless harassment? Your boy got rejected anyway, my actions didn’t even change anything. Besides, considering how you treated her, you didn’t even deserve a rejection. You deserved a beating”

“It’s about the principle, Taro boy.”
“The principle.”
“The principle.”
“The principle.”

Fucking hivemind. Not an independent thought between them.

“Look, I am not in the mood for your shit today. Can you go bother someone else for once?”
“You saying you don’t wanna hang out with us, Taro boy?”
“That is exactly what I’m saying, you grotesque piece of sewer waste.”

Fat, ugly, stupid and cruel all sneered at me. Most people just let them get on with their bullshit, but I’m too stubborn, and they hate me for it.

Looking at my watch, there’s only ten minutes or so before I have to be at the bus stop, so I stand up to leave the three stooges and their fat cousin behind, but a hand stops me.

“Where do you think you’re going, Taro boy?” Asks the cruel one, pushing me back to my seat.

“Home, dickhead.” I replied, standing back up. Once again he pushed me down. This is gonna be more trouble than I can be fucked to deal with right now. “You shitheads have a problem?”

“Well you see, that there is our problem. You don’t treat us with the respect we deserve.

“I treat you with the same respect I treat a plague-carrying rat with, you really think you deserve any more than that?”
Cruel doesn’t respond with words. Instead, he grabs my shirt and pulls me up.

“Well, you see, me and the boys don’t like that one bit. Do we, boys?” Asked cruel
“We do not.” Said fat.
“Not at all.” Said ugly.
“Not one bit.” Said stupid

Fucks sake, I don’t need this right now.

“I’ll keep it in mind for the future.”

Apparently they don’t appreciate my snark. Cruel uses his free hand to punch me square in the gut, letting go with his other hand and letting me fall to the floor. His punch winds me completely, and I can’t get a single word out.

While I’m holding my stomach, I feel a sharp pain in my ribs. Ugly had kicked me in the chest while I was on the floor.

“You might learn a little something today.”
“Pain is a good teacher.”
“Pay attention, Taro boy.”
“This‘ll teach you to disrespect us.”

The four of them crowd around me and continue their assault. Kicks, knees, shoves, hurting me anyway they can.

I need to escape. I need to get up. I need to run. I need… I need to think straight. Why can’t I think straight? Need to think. Need to think. Need to run. Need to think. Why can’t I think? Who’s talking? What am I hearing?

Who's... voice is that?

You... I... I don’t want to run. Don’t want to run. Want to fight. Fight. Fight back. Defence. Self defence. Defend yourself. Defend myself. Hurt them. Beat them. Crush them. Break them. Punch them. Kick them. Grab them. Throw them. Break bones. Break skin. Bleed. Make them bleed. Make them hurt. Make them die. Make them feel pain. Pain. Make them feel pain. Kill the cruel one. Kill the fat one. Kill the ugly one. Kill the stupid one. Kill them. Beat them. They should die. They need to die. I want them to die. To die. To kill them. I’ll kill them. Fists. Fists hurt. My fists hurt. Doesn’t matter. Punch. Keep punching. I hurt. Everything hurts. Doesn’t matter. Have to beat them. Have to hurt them. Have to kill them. Have to kill. Protect myself. Kill them. Have to kill them. No choice. Not my choice. Have to kill them. They have to die. Have to die. They’re evil. They’re awful. They’re terrible. They hurt me. They hurt you. They hurt her. The girl. They hurt the girl. They hurt her. They hurt me. The hurt you. They hurt people. They should hurt. They should bleed. They should die. They have to die. They need to die. I’ll kill them. You'll kill them. They’re a plague. They’re a disease. They’ll die. They have to die. They have to die…

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