Light of my darkest eve

What’s it like to be labelled crazy and shipped away? What does a mind feel like while deep in a psychosis? How does it feel to fall in love with someone who can’t love?

Sora Metarou is confronted with these questions when he’s moved to Yamaimura College For The Neurodivergent in the Japanese countryside. When the self-proclaimed Sociopath Hanji takes an interest in his condition, he finds himself thrust into an environment where he’s completely in over his head.

With Hanji and her friends for “support,” he slowly learns to navigate the harsh world he’s been thrust into, but how will he handle it when things between him and Hanji develop in an unexpected way?

[Present-Day - Teenage Love]
Will contain extremely heavy themes that some may find disturbing. Content warning for mental illness, psychosis and suicidal ideation

For the judges: everything with the "Do-over" tag in the chapter title has been rewritten from the ground up. The latter half, chapters 21-39, are mostly untouched, but everything else has been thoroughly revamped.

Cover by Fotor AI. Not 100% accurate, girl is supposed to be taller and guy doesn't have that tattoo

[Present-Day - Teenage Love]
Will contain extremely heavy themes that some may find disturbing. Content warning for mental illness, psychosis and suicidal ideation

For the judges: everything with the "Do-over" tag in the chapter title has been rewritten from th...

Total Likes:icon-reaction-1232
icon-views 2.5 K
Jul 17, 2023icon-views 107icon-reaction-113
Chapter 0: Foreword from author
Aug 13, 2023icon-views 61icon-reaction-15
Chapter 1: I'm alone. [Do-Over]
Aug 13, 2023icon-views 46icon-reaction-13
Chapter 2: I'm an invader. [Do-Over]
Aug 14, 2023icon-views 49icon-reaction-13
Chapter 3: I can't hear you. [Do-Over]
Aug 14, 2023icon-views 41icon-reaction-13
Chapter 4: I can't keep up (a). [Do-Over]
Aug 15, 2023icon-views 20icon-reaction-13
Chapter 5: I can't keep up (b). [Do-Over]
Aug 15, 2023icon-views 29icon-reaction-13
Chapter 6: I can't move. [Do-over]
Aug 17, 2023icon-views 30icon-reaction-13
Chapter 7: I'm scared of new faces. [Do-over]
Aug 17, 2023icon-views 36icon-reaction-13
Chapter 8: I'm being collected. [Do-Over]
Aug 17, 2023icon-views 26icon-reaction-12
Chapter 9: I'm being coerced. [Do-over]
Aug 17, 2023icon-views 27icon-reaction-12
Chapter 10: I’m not a person. [Do-over]
Aug 18, 2023icon-views 27icon-reaction-12
Chapter 11: I’m just a tool. [Do-over]
Aug 19, 2023icon-views 20icon-reaction-12
Chapter 12: I’m being seduced. [Do-Over]
Aug 20, 2023icon-views 23icon-reaction-12
Chapter 13: I’m juvenile. [Do-over]
Aug 21, 2023icon-views 23icon-reaction-12
Chapter 14: I'm baffled. [Do-over]
Jul 26, 2023icon-views 30icon-reaction-14
Chapter 15: He’s just as fucked up as me. [0.5 chapter]
Aug 22, 2023icon-views 21icon-reaction-12
Chapter 16: I can't focus. [Do-over]
Aug 22, 2023icon-views 19icon-reaction-12
Chapter 17: I’m on a date. [Do-over]
Jul 27, 2023icon-views 26icon-reaction-14
Chapter 18: He benefits too. [0.5 chapter]
Aug 23, 2023icon-views 22icon-reaction-12
Chapter 19: I'm not falling for her. [Do-over]
Aug 23, 2023icon-views 23icon-reaction-12
Chapter 20: I’m comfortable here. [Do-Over]
Aug 27, 2023icon-views 14icon-reaction-11
Chapter 21: Why Do I Lie? [bonus chapter]
Jul 29, 2023icon-views 34icon-reaction-14
Chapter 22: I’ll be careful.
Jul 30, 2023icon-views 32icon-reaction-14
Chapter 23: I’m being used.
Jul 31, 2023icon-views 35icon-reaction-14
Chapter 24: I said I’m not falling.
Aug 01, 2023icon-views 37icon-reaction-13
Chapter 25: I’ve already fallen.
Aug 01, 2023icon-views 26icon-reaction-13
Chapter 26: He fucking fell, didn’t he? [0.5 chapter]
Aug 02, 2023icon-views 43icon-reaction-14
Chapter 27: I’m a fucking idiot.
Aug 02, 2023icon-views 29icon-reaction-14
Chapter 28: He’s a fucking idiot. [0.5 chapter]
Aug 03, 2023icon-views 33icon-reaction-14
Chapter 29: I’m sick to my stomach.
Aug 04, 2023icon-views 36icon-reaction-13
Chapter 30: She deserves better.
Aug 04, 2023icon-views 22icon-reaction-13
Chapter 31: He deserves better. [0.5 chapter]
Aug 05, 2023icon-views 28icon-reaction-14
Chapter 32: I want to be there for her.
Aug 06, 2023icon-views 39icon-reaction-14
Chapter 33: I won’t let it out.
Aug 07, 2023icon-views 32icon-reaction-13
Chapter 34: I let it out.
Aug 08, 2023icon-views 33icon-reaction-14
Chapter 35: We’re on a real date.
Aug 09, 2023icon-views 25icon-reaction-13
Chapter 36: I can’t think straight.
Aug 10, 2023icon-views 30icon-reaction-14
Chapter 37: I can't forgive myself.
Aug 11, 2023icon-views 27icon-reaction-13
Chapter 38: We're all together.
Aug 11, 2023icon-views 19icon-reaction-13
Chapter 39: I have a question. [Taro's epilogue]
Aug 11, 2023icon-views 22icon-reaction-12
Chapter 40: I love you. [Hanji's epilogue]
Aug 25, 2023icon-views 28icon-reaction-11
Chapter 41: [On the subject of the rewrite]
Nov 20, 2023icon-views 49icon-reaction-13
Chapter 42: Notice of account abandonment
UpdatedNov 20, 2023
Writing StatusFinished
Word Count48,139
Featured fan art of this novel.