An open ending.

“I guess this is a bit too much for me,” with a light titter, Kiri backed away.

“Yeah, I guess me too.” Somewhat disappointed and also relieved, I scratched my head.

As the illuminating shade around us starts fading, and the clouds begin to form, we bid our farewell to the beautiful moment.

Once more, our backs were on the metal enclosure. And Kiri spoke.

“So, uh, you’re coming home today, right?”

With one sentence, I could feel the reality enclose me, and with it a realization that the end of this span of six days was about to end.

“Yeah, I’m not planning to see that brat again so send my regards to him.”

“Still not very good at saying goodbyes?”

“I guess you could say that.”

…

Hesitantly, I asked her.

“You’re not going back yet, are you.”

Imitating my dubiousness, she looked up at the sky.

“Yeah, not just yet.”

We shared a moment of silence, and it felt a tad bit awkward, so without knowing, my eyes were darting around to look for a distraction. Yet, the first thing they caught was Kiri’s gaze toward me.

“Aren’t you going to ask why?”

“No, I trust you, Kiri.“

Trying to fit my assurance tone, I curved my lips into a beam expressing my trust for her. But perhaps my grin didn’t look as I had intended, for Kiri answered with a bitter smile.

“Hm, thanks, Stan.” With a smaller tone than her usual energetic demeanor, and a slight regret glinted somewhere within, something gnawed at me to stay.

Which I shook off without trouble.

It’s been one heck of a week, so it was no surprise that there was an urge pulling me to linger here. All the drama, all the pain and memories, and as well as all the fun and shock that happened. But I knew that there was no longer any reason to remain, all our goals had been fulfilled, and all the left-over problems had been resolved. Therefore, I put motion into my feet, and I approached the door.

“Well, guess this is goodbye for now, Kiri.” Before I disappeared from her sight, I gave the girl one last farewell gesture, to which she did the same.

“Yeah, goodbye too. This week was very fun because of you, Stan. I might not ghost you after all.”

“That would be an honor. Perhaps I won’t have to make an alt and stalk you.”

“Oh, just fuck off already.”

Letting out one last smile and a wave, I faded from her view for good and energetically descended the stairs.

But just before I had faded completely from the school grounds, I took a moment to turn back and appreciate everything. Heck, I’ve only been here for not even a week and it’s already more memorable than the entirety of two years and a half of my high school. So, as I was left unable to do anything with that fact, and along with a mix of sentimentality and disappointment, I continued to walk.

Not long after was the apartment that I had slept in for merely six days. Despite the exterior reminding me of a haunted house, warmth was a clear abundance material in its structural. The small living room with a tea table and a TV. Two small bedrooms, though I hadn’t been inside either, and the bathroom, nothing to say really. It was a normal apartment, nonetheless, I guess it’s the people inside that I spent with that mattered.

As a gust of wind blew past me, my feet were again free of lead, and once more I brought motion to them.

With my ticket of getting out of here in my sight, I got on my motor and drove, albeit slowly and hesitant. Embracing my vision with the outskirts for the last time, numerous images from the past week flowed through my mind. As I passed by the never-ending changing of tones between identical two-story houses, I could only muster a breath of exhale to show appreciation, or perhaps as a farewell.

Sudden and yet enormous at the same time, the mall that I’d spent messing with Kiri appeared before me. And impulsively, I chuckled at the stupid shit we did inside the facility. I mean, winning anime figures, wearing horrible fashion the other person liked, playing tag, it was dumb and shouldn’t be remembered, still, I knew that I would treasure these memories onward.

It wasn’t long before the little buildings I was crossing had shifted into a more advanced and extensive mess of structural junk, causing even the Sun to be obstructed of its duty. And what came with them was a tender feeling.

It’s really over.

So much had happened this week that its short time span was completely eclipsed. Despite the fact that the area held no resemblance to where I had been, it was so vivid and nostalgic in my mind, so much so that I could call this place a second home.

…

But then, a doubt dawned on me.

“Wait, didn’t I forget something?”

A strong feeling gnawed at me to turn back. And even though it was quite fierce, my eyes were unmoving. My anxiety was concealed by another feeling of serenity, and as an act of relief, I let out a sigh.

“Who am I kidding, what’s the point of acting anymore?”

The muscles that were tensed up moments ago were now relaxed, and I laid my back straight, all to show the tranquility I was feeling. Yet, unknowingly, I could feel my lips shaking, and I struggle to keep my head straight. In spite of my nonchalant acceptance earlier, my insides were now assaulted by an avalanche of emotions and memories. My view turned hazy, my breath grew heavy, but as much as it hurts me, I tried to hold it all in. It was as if abandoning a toy, I knew it was pointless to show too much dejection.

And as a glimpse of her flickered in one of the windows, I could only smile bitterly and accelerated forward.

No more of those incessant needs, no more impulses, and no more doubtful thoughts that only existed to mentally strain me. What was left was only a calm, fulfilling air that I was encompassed by.

Was it all because of what I and Kiri did? Who knows, and who cares. What’s the point of questioning one’s own happiness anyway, just accept it willingly, who knows if it will last?

I finally turned my face to focus and look forward to the road in front of me. A sunset would have been perfect right now, though the giant fireball did not care and was floating at its highest, obeying the law of time. Still, I guess I could interpret this as the world telling me that this moment was the brightest of all.

Yeah, the metaphor’s not too bad.

…

Wait, what’s the point of me thinking like this anyway.

Now realizing that this whole thought process was completely meaningless, I shut my brain off and just drove.

“I guess it’s enough poetry for me today.”

I said to myself, as I drove into the endless horizon in front of me.

***

The azure hue of the sky has now been painted with a tawny shade, and the sun was nowhere as high as it was. As I was cherishing the natural beauty above me, my true home entered my view, deeming my week-long journey officially over.

After parking my motor beside the porch, I took haste to enter the house. Right as I opened the door, I inhaled the familiar cozy air that I haven’t breathed in a moment, and I embraced my vision with the surroundings.

.

Hm. Odd.

As I looked around, something nagged at me.

“Has it always been this empty?”

Despite having a considerable amount of furniture and housing tools, it still felt missing somehow.

Guess I just hadn’t been noticing my own home.

Deeming this problem insignificant, I brushed it off and strolled to my room. My vision was filled with a blank whiteness, though I had anticipated this fact.

“Hello again, my old boring room.”

Removing my backpack and the jacket that was on me, I jumped straight to my lovely bed. Even though it was a bit too hard to be comfortable, one’s own bed is always the best bed. I mean even if you offer me a five-star hotel I would still prefer to sleep here, it’s just how it is.

Even though I technically didn’t go on an adventure in my week-long away from home, my body and mind were nonetheless fatigued, and it whispered tears of gratitude for the decision of me lying down right now. With that in mind, I decided to treat myself by relaxing on my bed, shutting my brain off completely to just enjoy this content moment.

Until I got bored.

“And I told myself to relax as well. Damn.”

And yet, it was only late afternoon, and my mind was in no state to just doze off. And if that wasn’t annoying enough, a sense of unfulfillment gnawed at me and I could no longer lie on my bed with ease.

Still, I didn’t lay it to rest, since it seemed like I was telling myself to recover the times that I had wasted in the past two and a half year. I was no longer that boring and scared bastard.

Having solidified my resolve, I burst out of bed and wandered through the endless possibilities. I booted up my computer and scrolled through my contacts, looking at people’s various interests and hobbies.

Culinary.

As the idea entered my mind, I turned back to face the door of my room.

“I could try cooking for Mom and Dad for once.”

Though it wasn’t long before that idea was shot down by reality. I had never touched a pan in my life, and would probably end up burning the house down.

Art

Would suck at it

Music

Too complicated, could be cool though.

Charity

Too much of an asshole to do that.

Martial arts

Hmm, perhaps boxing would be more in line. Finally, my mind was excited by a plausible idea, and I focused on this possibility.

“I mean, the only thing I did was do brawls in schools, that doesn’t actually mean anything here.”

Once again, all the motivation that was surging through my body collapsed.

There were numerous choices, maybe too many. Every time I found one that piqued my interest, I shot it down with doubts and self-effacement, and I moved on to the next. Until I no longer held the mental capacity to consider any possibility anymore and laid back on my chair. Using my hands to cover my shameful face, my mouth gave out an involuntarily sigh, one that clearly states my fatigue.

Instinctively, I looked to my side and expected some form of consolation, but there was no one there.

“Stupid.”

I don’t need her anymore, I’ve turned into someone new now. If trouble or doubt comes my way, I will face them on my own, I can no longer escape from everything anymore. But then again, I’m still at a stalemate here, aren’t I? Have I really changed at all?

…

But as the depressing doubts entered my mind, a familiar air went up my nostrils, and images of the past week greeted me.

John, and Abigail, even those kids have goals. And Kiri too, even she has her own plans despite living such a care-free life. I guess I should learn a thing or two from them. And so, I got back the courage to sit up.

And not to mention Kae, if I no longer need her anymore, shouldn’t I at least prove that I could handle myself? As the thought wanders through my head, my view is again at my computer’s screen.

There’s no such thing as too many choices to choose from, and if I cower and hesitate at everything then I would just eventually lose my opportunity at all of them. I’m still in high school, a time of youth, I should be more fearless for god’s sake. As I declared so, my hand was in sync, and I delved back into the endless paths.

“Glad you finally learned something, Stan.”

Suddenly, my ear was caressed by a warm, caring voice that held familiarity. And I was met with the azure lane beyond the shore.

As everything that encompassed me had changed, so did the girl in the center. No longer a delusion or a replacement, her name was now visible for me to see. 

Kiri.

“Adda boy.”

She spoke a sentence so peculiar, and yet so compassionate.

An involuntary smile formed on my face. And I accepted with no sore.

So, I escaped once more. 

This time, into reality.

“Yeah, adda me.”