Himeno's life

I’m Akari Himeno. I'm 26 years old, I’ve working on a technological enterprise, I help repair electronics and sometimes do base data sheets, there are more jobs in the enterprise, but that’s mine. Lately I’ve been working extra hours free due to the orders that we have, the data to full is really big alongside with the electronics. I’ve been working like this for the past 4 years since I graduated from college.

I got the job thanks to my dad when I turned 19, I only did basic tasks like attending clients or repairing simple stuff or doing basic sheets of base data, but on the condition that I will work there when I got my diploma. I had a degree in system engineering. This got complicated when I turned 20.

—Do I really need to work, Dad?

—Yes, no question asked.

—Come on, Dad, I want to do other stuff too, I have no time to do what I want.

—You need to, sweetie, I don’t wanna leave you with nothing to prepare.

—Left me? What are you talking about? You just want me to make more money. But for what?

My dad was biting his lips and he took me from the arms

—We need to talk, I think it’s time but you have to promise, you will be strong. Ok?

—Dad?

—Here, we’re going to the hospital

My dad took me to the hospital and we were both in front of the doctor desk.

—Are you ready for the surgery, Mr. Himeno.

—Dad? What surgery?

—Listen, Akari, I uhm… dammit

The doctor touches the arm of my dad and he walks a few steps in front of me.

—Your dad is in a grave situation, he has a thoracic aortic tumor, if we don’t do this surgery, we may be afraid that your dad is not going to make it.

—But he will be fine after, right?

—It’s a gamble, 50 percent…

—Dad… Why didn’t you tell me?

I started crying and I hugged my dad.

—I’m so sorry sweetheart, I wasn’t strong enough to tell you, I’m sorry that it had to be this way, but I will be fine, don’t worry, your dad is strong.

—I know dad, I know.

I give my dad a kiss on the check and sit down, I was really anxious, and a lot of thoughts were on my head, I didn’t have any real issue with my dad, I get along pretty well with him, I was more in shock that worried actually, I didn’t feel anything that was until the doctor came out of the surgery room, he looked at me and came walking, just to nod negatively and a stretcher with white blankets covering a body that was staining the blankets red was being moved out of the surgery room.

I hit the floor with my knees and started crying with both of my hands covering my mouth and looking at the floor, the doctor was just staring at me and make one of the nurse take care of me, to make sure I didn’t make anything crazy, I can’t lie and I really thought on doing it.

I arrive at home and I just lay on my bed, I barely eat anything and I didn’t attend school or work during a week, they call me after and all of them understand my situation, I took a break from school during that period, and at work, they had respect for my dad, so they keep paying like I was working.

By the time I turned 21 I was again attending school and working, I also left the house in charge of my aunt.

—Are you sure you want to move out?

—Yes, auntie, I will come visit you from time to time, don’t worry.

—Remember that this is your house.

—I know, well, mom, dad, your daughter will go to be a woman

I smiled at the butsudan and left the house with my things. I already had this place on my list, I already paid the rent, I had to struggle since I didn’t know how to cook, clean or organize myself, I learned a lot of things on my own.

And since I was so busy, I didn’t have time to go out or make deep relationships, but that was fine for me, I was making myself go through all this, I graduated from college at 22, and I had a party with my auntie. I thought this was going to be the next step of my life, a better chapter, but it turned out bad.

When I got my diploma to get a better position at work, everyone was retiring, they say goodbye to me and even left me presents, I was promoted, but now I was alone with a lot of strangers, I was friendly with them but even now we are just coworkers, I feel the motives behind some of them too, so I make myself more reserve to not have problems.

The new boss has a headache, we order us to receive more orders that we could repair and full a lot of database sheets, it was so much that I even need to bring it to my house and complete, but we were still having the same payment, a lot of them didn’t quit because they need it the money, and so I did, but I didn’t want to quit because my dad worked so hard to make sure I had something, and I was going to make it proud, so I took the challenge.

Bad nights, sometimes I didn’t even sleep, anxiousness, I feel weak a lot of times, I cry a lot of times, until one day, the boss left, and a new one came, he was more rightful, the work that he had us manage was almost like the first time I got in, the thing with him was just the schedule that changes a lot, this only was during this year, that is why I only could go to the coffee shop at night and sometimes in another hours, mostly because I had night shifts.

But now, the boss retires, he was just doing some work for experience and the boss that make the work a hell came back, that’s why I couldn’t even respond to you, I was very stress, my room is a mess, I haven't been able to clean my house, and I couldn’t eat good either.

Ryoma-kun was petting my head as I was crying, this guy really is a weirdo, most of the people I meet didn’t even bother to listen to me, they say awful things about me too when I didn’t hang out with them in college, and I didn’t care.

But I was so concentrated on my studies and my work, that at the end, I just had a few relatives that I don’t make contact with so often, until this guy came out. He was really weird but he didn’t have any bad intentions, he got nervous really quick, and tried to make moves that made his heart beat really fast, even now, I can hear it.

When I’m with him, I can let myself enjoy things, even now I tell him all this and even If I feel anxious, I feel like he’s not going to leave me.

—You don’t need to say anything, Ryoma-kun.

—No, I feel so sorry for all of this, you really had a tough life haven’t you? That boss makes me furious, but, Himeno-san.

Ryoma-kun was tearing up a little, but even so, he looked so confident.

—Leave that job, I’m sure your father doesn't want you to spend more time there if it is making you miserable.

—What are you saying?! I will explain it to you already!

—Yes! Your father leaves you the job knowing that you’ll be in good hands with his coworkers, but now that’s a different enterprise, that’s not the same place your father left you to be able to sustain yourself. Look at you!

Ryoma-kun took out his phone with the frontal camera and I saw myself, I was crying a lot, I had terrible eye bags, my eyes were all red, my hair was a mess, and I even lost color, I also had dry lips and had some wounds because I bite them due to stress.

—Is this really how your father wants to see you?

—No…

—Then leave the hellish job! You’re an amazing woman, you have a lot of experience, you will find a better job! I’ll be here for you if anything goes wrong, I’ll always support you.

I didn’t have anyone to open my eyes, I was so blind and it was so obvious, my dad didn’t want me to suffer this much, in fact I think he’s sad that I did what I did, I’m sorry dad.

I started to cry more after hearing that, I just hugged Ryoma-kun and left my emotions out, I screamed, I cried. I did say that I didn’t need anyone, I made sure that I was capable enough to do all on my own. But I needed someone, after all, I think I feel a bit lonely