Otherworld Isekai Service
Diesel strolled through the suburbs of Tokyo looking for his next target. This time, he had been given a different kind of assignment. Rather than provided with a specific target ahead of time, he had to choose an appropriate hero candidate to whisk off based on the prayers that came from another world.
Diesel choked on his fuel when he first heard that from Kami-sama.
"I thought you said that most of the people we send away were hellbound to begin with!" He argued, annoyed that Kami-sama had given him an assignment to send an innocent person away.
"MOST. I said most. There are worlds out there that really need the abilities of otherworlders, who are granted hero-like abilities due to their different compositions than its inhabitants. It's like Superman living on Earth instead of Krypton. That sort of thing."
Kami-sama spun off into a lecture, saying that the crossing of people into other worlds sometimes resulted in the natural appearance of new powers. Although, how great of an ability that they obtained upon arrival couldn't be predicted, so sometimes the heroes became overpowered, and sometimes, not much at all happens.
"It's a bit tricky and unpredictable, granted. But so far, we've minimized the collapse of entire worlds."
Uh-huh. That meant that they couldn't save all of them…
"In comparison, we do send many more bad people to other worlds. They just get a memory wipe and end up as fodder for the inhabitants or a summoned hero to overcome. Though occasionally, they do reform and become a good person, or they end up with even greater powers, ruling that world with an iron fist. Well, as long as the world doesn't fall apart, it can squeak by with a pass."
Oi, that's some heavy responsibility that he was passing off right there! Diesel knew that some people enjoyed settings where an evil MC got his way, but he certainly felt bad for the inhabitants there!
"In any case, please find a generic teenage boy to play the part of a hero, like one of those faceless ones you've seen in your so-called 'isekai' anime that you humans love so much." Kami-sama shooed Diesel into the portal.
Right…a faceless teenage boy…that sounded easy at first, but as Diesel traveled around the suburbs, he began to realize that he actually had a hard time applying that to real-life people.
Just by spending a bit of time watching prospective candidates, Diesel felt too much personality to call any random boy 'faceless.' Even the sullen, reserved ones who he thought of as the natural choice ended up showing more character in the first ten minutes than some entire novels did. Yet, he was required to spend a day getting to know each one. He was starting to wonder if it was ever going to end.
If Diesel was going to make any kind of decision, then he would have to lay out some ground rules. Out of the ones already examined, he would cross them out as a candidate if they didn't meet certain conditions.
Condition #1: Should not excel in anything.
The other world had purposefully requested for a faceless, uninteresting hero. The reason was that they didn't want to deal with any surprise abilities that they couldn't handle stemming from the hero's home world. It was better for the world's inhabitants to 'give' the hero something that he would be good at. The hero's appreciation and reliance of said ability would make him more predictable and easier to control.
Diesel inwardly gagged at how devious the architects of the hero summoning truly were.
Condition #2: An absence of important ties to friends or family
After all, the hero shouldn't be tied down constantly with the desire to go back. It was even better if they didn't click with their family or were loners in society. Establishing ties with the new world's inhabitants ensured the hero's loyalty to the cause.
Diesel wished that he had called his mother more. In fact, he wished everyone would call their parents more!
Condition #3: Easy to indulge and satisfy
For all intents and purposes, the generic hero should be one that wore his desires on his sleeve. Typically, that meant preparing nice gear or money for him ahead of time and having him conveniently 'discover' it. When all else failed, or if the other world's inhabitants were in dire financial issues, then there was a standard practice that they could always default on – the allure of a harem.
In fact, the other worlds often requested for Kami-sama to gather data of the summoned hero's personal preferences so that they could prepare willing maidens before his arrival. Women were, of course, more plentiful than riches and rare equipment. And a summoned hero with hardly any interaction with the other sex would easily accept whatever stereotype they threw at him. It would just be a matter of dropping them in the right location at periodic intervals to keep things going.
'So, that's why getting isekai-ed often equated to gaining a harem. They were just being lazy!' Diesel thought after reviewing each of these points, information that Kami-sama had passed onto him. Suddenly, the reason behind the prevalence of these faceless main characters started making sense to him.
"Wait…doesn't that make me a faceless generic hero!" He yelled at Kami-sama at this sudden realization. He had fit some of these conditions, sadly enough.
"W-What was that? Krrrr…I couldn't hear you over the static. Krrrrrrr…" The radio suddenly cut off at that point.
Diesel had a strong urge to throw the radio at the ground, despite it being inside of the driver's area, attached to the dashboard.
"Static, my ass! There is no such thing as spotty service when it comes to calling the Divine Realm!"
Though Diesel was a bit pissed that Kami-sama had pretty much confirmed that he was one of those types, he still had a job to do.
Given the three requirements outlined previously…one particular person came to mind.
A little while later, Diesel found the person in question again.
"There we go. Satou Kanda, age 17. Lives alone due to family being from the countryside. No childhood friends. Gamer. Loner. Would be lucky if he got anything more than barely passing in all subjects. Secretly plays mobile games for the sole purpose of collecting scantily clad girls. Has a sizable 'collection' stashed under his bed. Probably can't find anyone that would align better than him, so might as well go for it."
Diesel would rather that he didn't have to go through with it, but a job was a job. The other world needed their hero, and it was his task to find a suitable one, in exchange for karma. For now, he would tell himself that it was for the sake of balancing the worlds, just like how Tanaka had staked his pride in.
Perhaps, that was why this kind of person was chosen to be sent to another world. Objectively, their loss would have a minimal impact on this world. Though their life ended in this one, they were immediately reborn in another, or in some cases, sent as is – it really depended on the wishes of the other world. The gap in time as they traveled between worlds couldn't be felt.
"Okay, breathe Diesel. You can do this…Air in…Exhaust out…" Diesel psyched himself up as he slowly crept along the roadside, watching as the boy named Satou walked home from school.
Diesel needed to wait for the right moment when there was a clear path straight to Satou, and no one around, to make his move. Given that he had already seen his daily routine, Diesel knew the route he took and when he walked through an empty area.
To ensure that there would be less people around, Diesel had even dug up his contact info and sent his phone some spam that attracted his attention, potential new arrivals to add to his 'collection'. While Satou had gone to discreetly purchase them, rush hour had rolled by and the streets became empty.
Now, he just had to wait for him to cross the road. A few blocks later, that opportunity came.
"Alright. This should get him to hold still…" Diesel mentally arranged for some messages to be sent.
As Satou crossed the road, his phone suddenly vibrated from a message. He chose to ignore it. Immediately afterward, another message came and then another and another. A deluge of messages endlessly came, annoying him enough to force him to pull out his phone and turn it on to stop it.
"Argh…what the hell is going on?! And with this timing?!" Satou briefly glanced at the crosswalk signal. It hadn't started to blink yet. He had time for a quick look. He couldn't help but be distracted by the incessant messages that his phone kept pinging him about.
He tapped on the first one. "What is this? 'Sorry'? Sorry for what?" He moved on to the next, and then, the next.
A barrage of messages with that single word repeated over and over again. He started breaking out in a cold sweat. Then, he noticed the sound of a roaring engine down the block. A truck was racing down the road, not caring that Satou was still in the middle of crossing. The truck didn't seem to see that he was even there. Struck with fear, he couldn't move from his spot.
Satou closed his eyes, knowing that he couldn't dodge in time. The truck was going to hit him! He was going to die!
Just then, Satou felt a heavy object smash him in the head. He immediately blacked out, and his soul was whisked from this world.
Diesel couldn't believe what he was seeing. Just before he had run over his target, a brick had fallen from the sky and smacked Satou in the head. The boy fell limply to the ground. Diesel slammed his brakes and skidded to a stop, right before the intersection. Luckily, not a soul was around to hear the racket.
"What just happened?" Diesel examined the boy.
He was dead. The fallen brick had killed him. How could such a thing be possible? Who would randomly drop a brick in the middle of an intersection?
As he pondered, a white bird suddenly landed on his hood.
"HONK!" It yelled at him before flying off again.
"What the-…Kami-sama! Explanations, please!" Diesel yelled into his radio.
Moments later, Kami-sama's voice could be heard.
"Ah…it appears that your target has been sniped. By an Isekai Goose."