In-Game Roast

A fierce dragon had fallen, the most troublesome of the land. The victorious warrior that stood next to its carcass scoffed as he waved his sword around like he had barely broken a sweat. The warrior, known to others as SythLordDarkness, had just defeated the most powerful creature in existence like it was just a Sunday stroll.

"Yes…there we go. Now, to finish it off with a heroic pose…and done! Stop recording."

SythLordDarkness tapped a holographic screen as the dragon's body started to fade into dissolving polygons. The dragon had just been a pre-programmed boss that periodically respawned. The warrior continued by checking his drop items, a randomly generated cache of materials that typically spawned from defeating monsters in the game that he was playing, World Quest Online.

Being a full immersion online game, one's consciousness was placed fully within this fantasy world-like game setting. As a result, the current avatar known as SythLordDarkness was just a player character posing as a great adventurer in a game.

However, SythLordDarkness wasn't just any player. He was the best of the best in this game, or so he claimed. He had started at the release of the game. Gotten farther than anyone did. And boasted the best items and equipment of anyone.

"Oh! Lucky! I got the rare drop finally!" The warrior excitedly shouted as he brought up another screen, one that showed off his primary weapon, the sword 'ExcaliMasaRandal Mark V'. Swiping the appropriate materials over to the weapon screen, he dropped the items needed for one final weapon enhancement.

With a bright flash, the weapon had finally been fully complete, a '+10' next to the name signifying the 10 boosts that were bestowed upon it.

Taking the blade in his hands, the warrior stroked the beautiful, intricate surface and kissed it lightly on the guard. Now, he had cemented his standing as the top player.

Taking a swipe at the holographic control, he located the button to 'Log Out' and pressed it.

The scenery around him faded to black, and the sound of something in the distance powering down echoed. Reflexively, his hand reached up to his head and removed the headset that was used to send him to that game world.

In reality, he was a man named Raymond Sweets, an average man with average capabilities. But online, he was a force to be reckoned with. He was the top player for WQO, the game he had exited from. Online, his renown and presence were known to many.

Ray sat up from his bed and made his way over to his computer. There, he confirmed the recording that he had made of his latest conquest. He would post it up for everyone to see – a video showing a player soloing the strongest boss in the game. In his view, it was quite the achievement. The first of its kind.

Not long after uploading it, the comments started to roll in.

"Dude! That was awesome!"

"Another achievement unlocked for the Syth Lord!"

"We bow to your might!"

This was the moment that Ray had been hoping for – the endless cheers of praise, the recognition, the fame. Each line of text feeding his ego of being the best player out there.

Though occasionally, there would be a comment that he just couldn't agree on.

"Couldn't you have done it this way? You just had to use xxxx and then fortified yourself with yyyy."

Ray zoned in on that comment and fiercely clicked the 'Reply' button.

"No, that would fall short. Have you tried it for yourself? No? Then, shut up. Who are you to give advice to the top player when you can't do it yourself? It's not your place to. Until you fight it off by yourself, please KINDLY excuse yourself from making idiotic suggestions. I doubt anyone else would see it any other way."

Slamming the 'Enter' button with his finger, Ray sneered at the commenter.

'Who was this guy that he thought to question the best player in existence?' Ray scoffed at the very thought.

Wiping that insignificant comment from his mind, he looked at other postings from his group of online friends. He opened a few threads that caught his eye.

"A new full immersion MMORPG? Mystical Gaea Summoners – open for beta testing, I see. Looks like some of my friends want me to join and have another race for the top."

Briefly scanning the details, Ray smirked and sighed in amusement.

"Nah, I'll just dominate it again just like WQO. The conditions of succeeding seem to be simple, hardly worth the trouble. The others won't stand a chance with my game sense and abilities. Don't even need to try it. I just know that'll happen."

Ray disregarded his friends' invitations, replying that it would just be a waste of time grinding his way to the top again. He wasn't being conceited. He just didn't think this new game would gain any foothold.

A week later.

Ray scanned through the gaming news sites. It had been flooded with information about MGS, the beta test for the new game. Hesitantly, he clicked on the topics, seeing the light-hearted and fun comments that posters made about it. They were reaping the profits by taking advantage of a new system of rewards. No one cared about WQO at this point. Even the naysayers were starting to embrace the new game and hopping on board. His achievements and videos had been buried among all of the 'garbage' news that had sprouted.

In an effort to remain relevant, Ray tried to grasp what players were talking about in MGS, despite not really playing it yet. It was just the same kind of stuff as other MMORPGs, wasn't it?

If he looked up some guides and grasped the terms and mechanics, then it would be just like any other game, wouldn't it?

Therefore, SythLordDarkness posted answers to the many questions that sprang up about MGS.

"In MY HUMBLE OPINION, if you can't manage to grind 1500 materials per day, then you aren't fit for the commitment it requires. Don't bother. You'll just fall behind."

"Based on MY EXPERIENCE, if you don't go after the popular quests right away, then no one's going to care enough to even look at your efforts."

MY EXPERT ADVICE is, if you can't stay in the top 200 players, then you're better off playing a different game."

As he finished typing his latest comments, he started getting replies.

"What kind of advice are you trying to give, you noob?"

"Lol, as if. >.>"

"Why are you trying to look all high and mighty? No one cares about what YOU think."

Their replies of indignity made him mad! Now, he would prove it to them that he knew what he was talking about!

Pulling up various articles that he used for reference, he proceeded to type out long-winded paragraphs highlighting EVERY point he made and countering EVERY argument that was made against him.

He wouldn't be happy until they saw the reasoning behind his statements. He just couldn't see how they could be so blind to his logic. Those hypocritical posters were just ganging up on him to make him look bad!

Just then a reply popped up.

"Yeah, sure. Whatever dude."

That simple statement infuriated Ray to no end. All that effort he made to convince them of his correctness, and they just simply waved it off like it was nothing. How dare they! What did they know?! Their accounts were made not that long ago. They didn't have the experience and longevity to know what was good for them!

Ray was absolutely seething. Looking over to his headset, he knew just the way to calm down. He would play some WQO - slay some monsters, do some quests, post some bragging rights. Yeah, that would make him feel better. Those wannabes can just piss off for the moment.

Slipping his head into the gear, he laid on the bed and resumed his game playing.

As his vision adjusted to that of a fantasy town, SythLordDarkness noticed a notification pop up in his vision. Clicking on it, a notice of a new event had appeared.

"Huh? Brand new boss raid monster? Has been undefeated so far? This is my chance!"

If he was the first one to complete it, there was no doubt that he would regain the attention of the masses. The game company must've seen the shift in activity to MGS, so they had likely designed something to counteract it. A new boss raid was just the ticket!

Getting his best supplies ready, the greatest warrior stepped into the portal to where the new event would be held.

An open field stretched out as far as he could see. Where was he? The Plains of Kansasis? The Fields of the Lonely Whachamawear? The Valley of Whatsitsnow? And where was the boss? Had it not spawned yet?

Suddenly, a notification popped into his view.

[A wild Truck-kun has appeared!]

A what? Did he just see that it said, 'a truck'?

The sound of a roaring engine started getting closer. He turned toward the noise, surprised to see an actual vehicle driving towards him.

"What the ****?!... The hell, system?! At least, let me curse when I want to!"

[Please refrain from derogatory or inappropriate language during gameplay. Thank you and have a good day!]

"Oh, shove it, you stupid AI! What the hell is a truck doing in a fantasy game?!" SythLordDarkness eyed the vehicle again, convincing himself that he wasn't seeing things. A truck shouldn't be programmed into this game. There was no lore to support it! What were the developers thinking?

Regardless, he readied his sword and waited for the truck to pass him by. If it was the raid boss, then he would just have to fight it!

As the truck came by, he swiftly dodged it and swung his ExcaliMasaRandal Mark V +10 at the metal body. There was no way the most powerful sword in the game could not do any damage.

At least, that was what he thought, until the blade snapped cleanly off the handle. He watched in horror as his brand-new weapon had been reduced to nothing more than the hilt. Given that his stats were essentially topped out at 999 for every parameter, there was no way that he should've been overpowered so easily. Plus…

"No freaking way!!! Weapons don't break in this game?! Why now?!"

He didn't have time to contemplate as the truck turned around to take another charge at him. Quickly, he fired off some analysis magic to see the monster's stats.

Enemy: Truck-kun [Diesel-type]

Attack: 9999

Defense: 9999

Speed: 9999

Magic: 9999

Spirit: 9999

Accuracy: 9999

!!!

His jaw dropped. They were stats that he didn't think were possible. Immediately, his feet broke out into a run. It was hopeless! What sick developer had dropped this monster in as a raid boss?! Even as a joke, this was going way, way too far!

He had to run! He had to escape and figure out a different strategy! Maybe they had sent a boss so difficult that it would be impossible for a solo player to fight. He would have to gather all of the top players and try again.

He grimaced at the thought. He had just rejected their invitation to play MGS with them, so why would they return the favor by helping him out again in WQO?

He would have to suck it up and beg them, but that came later. He had to find a way out first.

He leapt out of the way as the truck nearly clipped his body as it sped by. The resulting wind as it whizzed by knocked him over, sending him rolling uncontrollably forward. His body tossed and tumbled along the ground as he tried to right himself onto his feet before the next charge came. Just before he regained control, his back slammed into something solid and metallic.

"Owww! Did I just collide into a wall?" SythLordDarkness rubbed his back and then froze. There were no walls! This was an open field! Unfortunately, he did not see the notification that had popped up while he was rolling until just now.

[A wild Truck-kun has appeared!]

His teeth started chattering as he looked behind him. Another truck was there, different than the other. This one said, [Truck-kun – Insidious-Type].

"Hey there, top player. You know. I really hate it when someone boasts everywhere like they think they are better than others. How about we test how worthy your skills are in the next world?"

The truck spoke to him, but he was too frightened to realize the strangeness of it.

After the truck's initial words, the last thing he saw was a giant burst of flame coming out of its grill, engulfing him and his surroundings into a raging inferno. He watched as his HP quickly shaved to nothing, and the screen turned black.

[YOU HAVE DIED!]

Jerking awake, Ray flung his gaming headset off his head and jumped out of bed. He was back in his room. He was safe. The nightmare was over.

Slowly, he laid back down onto his bed and closed his eyes to let his furiously beating heart calm down. That was the worse experience that he ever had. There was no way that he was going to fight that raid boss again. It must've been someone's idea of a joke.

Just then, he felt something fall onto his head. Opening his eyes, he saw a faint crack in the ceiling. Reaching up and feeling around with his hand, he found a small bit of plaster next to his head that had apparently fallen down.

"What? Why would it-"

The ceiling caved in at that moment, and a large truck fell through, crushing Ray who had been on the bed into a flattened mess. He barely had time to scream before it was muffled out by the weight of several tons of metal.

Outside the bedroom window, another truck rolled right up to it.

"Hey, Sid. That was a bizarre way to roast someone."

The two trucks had just left the online game, which Kami-sama set up for them to infiltrate. That was the easiest way for them to spy on their target. He had even hacked the game to set up the fake raid boss event that only Ray could see.

Of course, they couldn't actually kill the guy by killing him in-game. However, Insidious had the bright idea to roast him, literally, by giving herself the in-game ability to spit out fire of the highest-order.

"Meh, I had my fun. But then, I had the strange craving for some pancakes."

"Well, the poor guy certainly ended up as one." Diesel smacked his front against the wall. He was content with just hitting them. It would be quite some time before he would be creative enough to concoct a service of his own design.

At least, that was what he hoped.