Chapter 30 Goblin Water Park

Curiosity piqued, I turned my attention toward the fountain, only to be greeted by a sight that could be described as both comically absurd and bafflingly chaotic. The same raucous group of goblins had seized the elegant structure, transforming it into something utterly unrecognizable. They splashed and frolicked in the water, engaging in watery sports that could only be the result of a twisted goblin imagination, and quite possibly a dash of insanity.

One goblin, clearly the self-proclaimed champion, attempted to balance atop the fountain's basin, arms flailing as he wobbled precariously before splashing back down into the water with a triumphant howl that sounded more like a battle cry.

"Whoa whoa, splashy-splash! Whoopsy! Big jump! Reeee!" the goblin shouted before he splashed into the water down below.

 Another goblin gleefully swung from the fountain's decorative sculpture, letting out a series of enthusiastic screeches that seemed to defy the laws of coherent communication.

 "High-high, swingy-swing, like birdy-fly, whee! Splash-splash, jump-jump, fun-fun, water-bath!"

"Oi, Squiggletoes! Watch this, I'm the splashiest splasher in all of Goblin-town!" one goblin bellowed, a silly grin on his face as he executed a cannonball-like jump into the fountain, sending water splashing in all directions.

"Ha! Do you call that a splash? Look at me, Pooknocker, the diving champion of the moldy realm!" another goblin boomed, his voice brimming with overconfidence.

 With a dramatic flourish, he hurled himself from the edge, his arms flailing wildly as he attempted to mimic the grace of a seasoned diver. In reality, it was a spectacular display of chaos as he spun and flipped with all the elegance of a wayward cabbage in the wind and culminated in a spectacular collision with the water that could only be described as a spectacular bellyflop of doom. The resulting impact resembled less a gentle dip and more a rendezvous with solid concrete.

With gleeful abandon, they treated the fountain as their own personal swimming pool, their antics causing quite the spectacle for onlookers.

Goblinworth got angry again and started to mumble to himself, "They're tarnishing the legacy of this monument! It's supposed to be a symbol of beauty and refinement, not... not a goblin spa!"

As water sprayed and splashed, the goblins showed off their peculiar swimming styles. One goblin attempted a sort of upside-down backstroke, flailing its limbs in every direction.

"Look at me, I'm a fish with legs!" one goblin shouted as he thrashed about, his limbs flapping wildly in an exaggerated parody of swimming.

 Another attempted a clumsy imitation of a frog's leap.

"Behold my grand froggy leap!" the goblin announced proudly before launching itself into the air with all the grace of a falling brick.

 Yet another goblin could be seen floating on his back, arms splayed out, and a wide grin plastered across his face.

"I've mastered the art of 'Upside-Down Sky Paddling'! Look at me, I'm a water cloud!" he cheered, his proud words met with a mix of laughter and giggle.

The town's residents walked by with amusement, their laughter filling the air as they watched the goblin's watery fun. Some cheered the goblins on, encouraging their outrageous antics, while others simply shook their heads with a smile.

Amidst the splashing and chaos, a group of humans exchanged skeptical glances. One woman turned to her friend and said, "Would you look at that? Those goblins sure know how to make a splash!"

Her friend chuckled in agreement. 

"Who would have thought that a simple fountain could turn into a goblin water park?"

Meanwhile, the goblins continued their aquatic fun, their antics reaching new heights of absurdity. One goblin attempted to launch itself off the edge of the fountain, arms flailing in an attempt at a cannonball dive. However, his aim was off, and he ended up back-flopping into the water with a resounding smack, provoking a chorus of cheers and laughter from both goblins and spectators alike.

"Glorp-dibbly doo!" the goblin yelled, as he surfaced from the water, his antics met with shameless glee.

In an uproarious display of goblin antics, the mischief escalated to absurd proportions. As if inspired by their own inventive madness, one goblin seized the opportunity to turn his ears into makeshift water buckets, using them to scoop up water.

"Hey, lookit me! Ears buckets, ears buckets!" he chortled gleefully, water sloshing about in his ear buckets as he splashed water onto his buddies.

Not to be outdone, another goblin joined in the wet revelry, copying his ear-bucket-wielding friend with all the grace of a slippery eel.

 "Oh, me too, me too!" he squealed, his ears now soaked with water and flapping wildly like damp flags in the wind.

A goblin of unparalleled creativity decided to take his water-wielding prowess to a whole new level. With a masterful scoop that rivaled the grace of a clumsy elephant, he collected a truly impressive amount of water.

"Watch this, gob-friends, I'm the Great Gushing Goblin Fountain!" he bellowed with the kind of pride usually reserved for kings. He stood tall and still, his face contorted in concentration as he opened his mouth wide, allowing a gushing torrent of water to escape his ears and cascade out of his open maw.

The other goblins stared in awe, or maybe just confusion, as water flowed through his ears, did a little loop-the-loop in his mouth, and splattered everywhere like an improvised waterfall. The self-proclaimed 'Fountain Goblin' grinned widely, water dribbling from his chin.

"Woah, it's like magic, me being a fountain and all!" he yelled as he marveled at his aquatic prowess.

Goblinworth couldn't resist intervening in their watery escapade any longer. With a wild expression, he scuttled towards the goblin group, his arms flailing.

 "Stop, stop, you dummies! What in the blazes do you think you're doing?" he yelled in his gravelly goblin voice.

The goblins, seemingly unphased by Goblinworth's authoritative tone, continued their watery antics, each trying to outdo the other with more ridiculous water displays.

"Lookit me, I'm a waterfall!" one goblin hollered, lifting his ear buckets above his head and letting the water cascade down his face.

"Nuh-uh, I'm a whirlpool!" another goblin chimed in, twirling around in a circle while water sprayed from his ears.

Goblinworth's frustration reached its peak as he struggled to reign in the goblins' fun. 

"You lot, have you all gone completely daft? This is not some puddle party! We're supposed to be civilized, not acting like a bunch of soggy dimwits!"

The goblin gang exchanged confused glances, their actions similar to a flock of utterly confused ducks trying to decipher a riddle. Their heads comically twitched, their goblin brains attempting to process the sudden presence of Goblinworth, the dampness, and the general nonsensical nature of their activities.

In a feeble attempt to reason, one goblin asked, "Hey, why stop? It's goblin bath time! What's the, uh, prob-lem here?" The goblin's eyes gleamed with a childlike innocence as if it were the most natural thing in the world to turn a serene fountain into a goblin-sized swimming pool.

Goblinworth's eye twitched a feat that seemed nearly impossible given his goblinoid features. He threw his hands up in the air, his frustration reaching its peak. 

"A goblin bath time? In a fountain? Do you all have any idea how ridiculous you look?"

The goblins exchanged uncertain glances, their brows furrowing in collective bewilderment.

 "But, Goblin," one of them began, "we're goblins. We like water. It's... uh... it's fun?"

Goblinworth let out a furious groan, "Graaah! Fun? Fun?! You're turning this beautiful fountain into a goblin bathhouse! Go back to your farms and bathe in a muddy puddle like you should! You are not fish, no need for good water! Mudd is good enough for the likes of you!"

The goblins blinked at him, their innocent eyes reflecting a lack of comprehension.

 "Fish and mud? But Goblin, this is our bath. The fish can swim with us, and we're drinking from it, no mud here, nuh-uh, not a glob. We're splashing in it too! Oh so fun!" The goblin's explanation held the logic of a toddler explaining why crayon drawings belong on walls.

Goblinworth's face contorted in disbelief. 

"You've got to be kidding me," he muttered under his breath, as he struggled to find words to counter such natural goblin logic. 

"Look, just get out of the water and find another way to enjoy yourselves that don't involve turning our surroundings into a goblin water park."

Sensing that their explanation had failed to quell the rising tide of Goblinworth's frustration, the goblins, with a synchronized sense of mischief, collectively decided to take matters into their own, undoubtedly odd, hands.

They swiftly surrounded Goblinworth, their mischievous grins akin to that of cats plotting their next chaotic lark. Like a whirlwind of whimsy, they stripped him of his clothes with enthusiasm.

Goblinworth, caught in the whirlwind of their eccentric antics, stared in incredulous disbelief. "What in the name of the Goblin king is happening here?"

"Goblin, no clothes for you!" one goblin chortled, a mischievous twinkle in his eyes.

"Ha! Now you're as naked as a snail in the rain!" another goblin chimed in, guffawing at their own wit.

One goblin with particularly nimble fingers snatched Goblinworth by his enormous, sail-like ears, his grip resembling that of an exceptionally soft vise. 

"Haha! Big ears! Big ears! Big ears like big mushrooms! We hold him!" the goblin chortled, tugging at Goblinworth's ears as if they were a set of peculiarly-shaped ropes.

Another, seemingly fueled by an uncontrollable desire to see him airborne, grabbed his sizeable toes and began to swing him back and forth with a passion matched only by goblin dance rituals.

"Swingy-swing, splashy-splash!"

In the midst of this absurd spectacle, the goblins erupted into a chorus of high-pitched giggles and a jumble of nonsensical phrases that barely resembled any form of coherent singing.

"Goblin in the air, here he goes,
water's nice, everyone knows!
Splash and swing, high and low,
goblin fun, to and fro!
Swing him, swing him, off he goes,
Goblin, dancing, to and fro,
Water splashes, laughter flows,
Goblin fun, everybody knows!" they chanted in their unintelligible goblin dialect, their words a symphony of nonsensical delight.

With the song's final note, the goblins suddenly released their grip on Goblinworth, sending him hurtling through the air toward the fountain's pool. Their aim, however, left much to be desired, and their intended trajectory went awry. Instead of landing with a splash, Goblinworth collided with the fountain's basin, his body smacking against the wall with a wet, resounding splat like some damp towel thrown at the wall.