Her tears

Warning: Contains mature elements

Autumn: 2014

I spent the whole summer with Fuyuko-sensei. We told each other everything about ourselves."My brother abandoned me after our parents died when I was sixteen. He only took my younger sister who was seven at that time. I don't hate him. I don't know what to feel '', Fuyuko-sensei's words stayed with me all summer. She had been suffering a lot but she was still taking care of me. 
           

        She was the best person I was acquainted with. All summer vacation no one bothered her or me. Except Akira and Asahi who occasionally sent me on errands. I didn't mind it. 

    

            School resumed shortly after two months which felt like heaven. I was back to hell. Even so, on the first day of school, I left home with a smile. I wanted to think that this would end soon. I was positive that with Fuyuko-sensei by my side I would be alright. 

              Two weeks in and it was far from 'alright'. Akira didn't like me associating with any girl or anyone for that matter. He saw how close I was to Fuyuko-sensei and got irritated.        

           "We have broken up, Akira. Please refrain from claiming me", I said when I heard him tell me to stop associating with people. We were on the rooftop for lunch. There was a gentle breeze in the wind and it felt peaceful. Mom's lunch box was delicious.         

           Akira kissed me all of a sudden. I stopped pushing him away now. I know I can't avoid it. He held me closer and planted kisses on my neck. My shirt buttons were soon undone.     

          "Not here", I said, "we can do it at home". He stopped abruptly.      

"Are you and that bitch doing it?", He asked furiously.       

      "No! Are you nuts?", I shouted. I didn't like him badmouthing Fuyuko-sensei.       

  "Where did you get these from?", He pointed to a hickey on my chest.    

            "No one", I said shamefully. I didn't want him to know that Asahi was using me too. I didn't want to look weak in front of him and Asahi didn't want anyone to know about our affair. I feared Asahi.      

        "You sure? Cause I didn't do anything to you during the summer vacation. And this one looks fresh", Akira bit atop the hickey.                  

               "Leave me. We'll do it at home", I said pushing him. Akira bit so hard it started bleeding.         

            "Until you tell me who you're fucking I'm not letting you go", he said eerily into my ears. I had to give him a name. Not Asahi. But I didn't have any friends. He knew that well. They bullied me to the point where people stopped associating with me for fear of getting bullied.       "It's—no. I didn't – I don't know"     

              "There is one for sure. Spill it or….", He was angry.        

             What had I put myself into? It was the first day of school after summer vacation and I didn't want anything wrong to happen.         "One of the guys from your group", I said at last. I clenched my fists on his shirt and said, "Forgive me, Aki-senpai. I won't cheat on you again".          

          "His name?". I was silent. I didn't know or remember anyone's name.     

           "Ta–Taiyou", was the only name I could think of. Akira had a confused look on his face.        

            "What the fuck? Taiyou? No. No. He's head over heels in love with his girlfriend. He's dedicated to her. He wouldn't...", Akira gave me a doubtful look.       

           "I can't tell you who it is. It's a secret. But I promise I won't do it again", I said and immediately regretted my words. I didn't need to give an account to him, did I? Why am I like this?     

        He stormed out of the rooftop. At that moment, I wished he slipped down the stairs. I wish he died. I wished for all the worst things to happen to him. But nothing did. I lay down in silence. It was peaceful.           

          After school, Asahi sent me an address and ordered me to be there. I couldn't say no. On reaching I saw Fuyuko-sensei on the ground and ran towards her. Slightly embracing her I looked at all the faces of the bullies.     

             "Who did this to her?", I shouted. Her face was alright but her clothes were soiled. They had kicked her.       

            "Run a…way", she squirmed. I was angry. Damn, angry. I felt a sudden gush of anger run through me. I stood up and walked towards Asahi. I held his collar. 

         "Why the fuck did you do that to her?" My face was close to his.      

             "Calm down, gay boy. I didn't do it. It was the girls", said Asahi calmly. I had lost my senses and I couldn't stay calm.      

          "Why do you call me gay boy, Asahi? And not Akira? He's also gay. And don't you like kissing boys too?", I smirked. I shifted my gaze to Akira sternly.      

            "You asked me today who I was fucking behind your back, right? It is him. You're straight as a stick leader, Asahi. He insults me for liking men but—", before I could finish a blow landed on me. It was Asahi, I expected it. After all, he was in the closet and didn't want anyone to know. Did I do the right thing? I thought. Was I too harsh?    

           Everyone had a confused look. Asahi convinced everyone that what I was saying was all a lie. He kicked me to the ground.             

       "Fuck her, gay boy. Fuck your favorite teacher. Your darling teacher. I will stop calling you gay boy and let you two leave or do you want a taste of 'those women' again", Asahi declared. I was stricken with fear.    

           Last summer he had sold me off to some women for a night. I could still remember how scared I was when they climbed on top of me and did as they pleased. The bullies watched the whole scene. I screamed and shouted but no one helped me. 

     "I won't do it", I cried. "I don't want to do it".    "Okay. Ando-senpai, isn't she your type?" Asahi asked a man who wasn't wearing a high school uniform.         

              "I'll savor every part", said Ando with a villainous smile.       

           When he was about to touch Sensei. I blocked him.      

             "Do it to me instead. I'll even dance for you". He punched me out of the way.     

             I ran to save her again. Was she unconscious? She wasn't moving. Had she been beaten to a pulp? It didn't seem like it.          I held on to Sensei's limp body. "I'll do it. So please back off", I told Ando. Everyone watched me closely as I placed her on the ground. I was gentle with every touch.      

               "Take off her clothes fast", I heard someone shout. Tears were rolling down my face.      

                 "Kiss her", someone said from the crowd. "Use your tongue", another one said. How desensitized were these people? How were they enjoying this?     

             Fuyuko-sensei woke up when I nibbled on her neck. She was confused but in a matter of seconds, she understood what had occurred. She knew there was no way to leave the place. She gave up.      

           "Put on a show", Ando said as he tugged on Fuyuko-sensei's hair. We had to comply. There was no way out. Fuyuko-sensei was strong. She didn't shed a single tear.   

           I did everything the bullies told me to. They let us leave. Fuyuko-sensei was unable to walk. I carried her on my back and dropped her home. I was about to leave when he tugged on my shirt and burst out in tears. I decided to stay with her for the night.