A Past That I'd Rather Forget

"Saku?" The guy's neat, parted hair and nice clothes contrast with the red glow on his cheeks.

My worst nightmare has come true, on the day where I could least afford it.

The guy's eyes open wide, and then he staggers back, nearly howling with laughter. "No way, dude, it IS you! What are you doing here?!"

"I...uh-" My voice disappears from my mouth before I can say anything. I don't know what to say. I don't know what I can say.

"Oiiiiiiii, Yusei, what are you- Huh?" I whirl my head to the right and instantly catch sight of another face, flushed red, that I didn't want to see. Oh no. Hiro's here too. And he's got his arms around the shoulder of a girl...It's Manago. Oh, hell no. "Holy shit, it's Inakou! We thought you died or something! You're all alone on Christmas?!"

Let me explain something. My first day I joined the photography circle, I (stupidly) told everyone that I was from a little hot-spring town in the boonies and then Hiroki Nonaka- he's the guy with the Geneva Duck jacket on, grabbing on Manago's shoulder- started calling me Inakou because I was a hick, and it caught on. The only exception was Yusei Iwatani. He's the guy right in front of me. He called me Saku.

"Uh..." The store around me is rotating so fast you could swear I was a planet. I can barely keep conscious, let alone speak.

"What happened?" Yusei shrugs. "Did your parents cut you off or something? Sucks, dude. I thought you had lost too many penalty games and become a hikikomori..." He staggers backwards again, barely stifling a giggle. "I get it. Sasahara-senpai was brutal. You remember the time you chugged the slowest and he made you drink toilet water? Or the time you got waterboarded with Ev*rclear? Because you-" He can't finish before he starts howling with laughter.

I do remember all of those nights. And I feel like I'm about to puke, just the same as I always did whenever I lost drinking games and got punished. I always ended up being the one to lose them.

"Seriously, we miss you," Hiro slurs, still hanging tightly onto Manago, who looks like she'd rather be anywhere else than here. "It was nice having you around. I didn't have to worry about getting things shoved up my butt after losing penalty games 'cause you always took 'em for the team. Semper fi." He gives a mock salute, while Manago turns away with a disgusted expression, trying hard to wiggle out of his grasp.

"Yeah, he was super funny!" Yusei howls. "I'd never met a farm kid who was also a nerd that wore rolled-up socks until I met you, dude. You were great at homework, too! Can you do mine again sometime? Dude, I need it! I’m straight-up failing English!"

Hiro smirks. "You should have seen Kaori when you didn't come back to school. She was so upset...she was crying!" He jerks back, this time laughing audibly, and Manago finally slaps his hand away and frees herself, giving him a death glare.

Sorry, Sakuta-kun, she mouths toward me, but it doesn't help. I'm about thirty seconds from passing out in the middle of the Kyoudai Mart on Christmas Eve.

"Dude, seriously, what's with this outfit?!" Yusei laughs, looming over me as I huddle down by the bottom shelf. "It's like three sizes too big! And did a beaver die on your head or something?" He reaches down, pulling at my hair as I crouch further into the fetal position. "I oughta take a pic and send it to the group chat...they'd love this..." he slurs.

My life is over. It's more over than it's ever been. Everything is going silent-

"Can I help you, sir?"

When I finally take my head out of its burial place in my arms and look up, there's another shadow looming overhead, blocking out all the light from the counter. In front of me, Yusei, still holding his phone in his hand, has had all the color drain from his face, and Hiro also shuffles back a couple steps, perturbed.

"Uh-" This time Yusei can't get any words out.

"Please kindly refrain from photography in the store, sir." The words are spoken with the most polite inflection, but there's venom in them. "Now, can I help you find what you were looking for?"

As I slowly pull myself back up to a squat, I make eye contact with Miyata, standing on the opposite side of me, staring down my former classmates. His lips are in a neutral smile, but the hostility radiating off of him is strong enough that it could clear a whole room.

I never realized it, because I always found him annoying, but he's actually pretty intimidating. He's a whole half a head taller than Yusei and Hiro and he's looking at them in the same way that a lion does to his prey. Yusei gulps as he takes a step back. There's fear in his eyes. Miyata was mad today, and when trashy DQNs are mad they tend to explode on the first poor bastard who pisses them off. That's what's happening.

Finally, Hiro mutters something. "W-w-w-we were looking for the...a-alcohol section..."

"That will be right this way," Miyata snaps, taking a heavy stride toward them. Instantly, Yusei and Hiro flee toward the refrigerators in the back corner like a couple of cockroaches, while Miyata continues to walk them down.

I slowly pull myself to my feet as my heart continues to thump in my chest, bringing me face-to-face with Manago, smack-dab in the middle of the snack aisle.

Don't get me wrong, she's cute, especially since she's in her puffy winter down jacket with a fur hood- but now, as I study her, she looks so depressingly ordinary. I can't imagine why I was so infatuated with her. I can find girls like her anywhere.

"Sorry, Sakuta-kun..." Manago looks down and clasps her mittened hands together, embarrassed. "Iwatani-kun's been drinking...he's not like that usually."

"I-I could tell...it's no big deal."

My hasty excuse seems to have made her more embarrassed, as she averts her eyes from mine. "Can I tell you a secret?"

She quickly glances over to the cooler section, where Yusei and Hiro are nervously grabbing something while Miyata stands over them like he's trying to catch them shoplifting.

"...Sure, I guess."

"I'm sorry you have it so rough right now-" She fidgets, nervously- "but I'm glad you're not at school anymore. Don't take this the wrong way. It's just- Iwatani and Nonaka and the senpai are nice guys, but they picked on you so much and it made me upset every time they went drinking and bullied you- you didn't deserve that..."

"It's okay. It was normal circle stuff-"

From the look she's giving me, I can tell she's not convinced. "Maybe it was just guy things...but I wanted to say..." She cuts off, breaking eye contact with me again. "When I saw you at the festival with that girl, you looked so happy. I never saw you act like that in school. Just-" Again, she breaks off.

"Kaori! Hurry up!" A nervous yell interrupts both of us. I turn to see Hiro waving, standing in the doorway as the two glass doors slide open, ready to bolt out of the Kyoudai Mart, with Yusei close behind.

Startled, Manago turns back to me. "Merry Christmas, Sakuta-kun."

"You too."

Hiro nervously calls for Manago again, and she dashes out into the snow with him and Yusei. I watch them disappear around the corner, then turn back to the shelves, exhaling. I have a long shift to get through tonight.