"Self-Care"

My first couple of English classes are a fumbled mess.

I don’t have a background in education, so excessively over prepare.

I’m a tutor. Not a teacher.

All my students expected was for me to help correct their work, guide revision, and point out areas of improvement. Not design a whole curriculum.

I only do one session an evening while Kaori is at work. Leaving me plenty of time for the usual chores. I’ve even been preparing for our next big outing… Halloween!

Still need to find the right event, but the unofficial Shibuya Scramble Halloween Party is a must.

…

“Soo…” Fuyumi leans in gratuitously, “…you owe me a coffee!”

I didn’t expect her to be so carnivorous!

She’d always just come across as normal, maybe a little extroverted, but since finding me some customers…

“When would you like to go?”

…she’s become positively incorrigible. Intent on getting her reward.

I promised Kaori I wouldn’t go on a date with her, and things between us have been… well, there’s definitely a spark, and I don’t want to jeopardise it.

I also don’t want to upset someone who’s done me a huge favour.

I owe Kaori too, probably more, but this is different, right?!.

Anyway, I need to stall Fuyumi a little longer. At least until I can work out a better way to pay her back, that won’t upset her, or mean breaking my promise. If that’s even possible!

“Err, well… unfortunately, I haven’t earned anything yet. I agreed to let everyone pay me when they get paid, so it looks like I have to wait til the end of the week.”

Quick thinking! That should buy me some time!

“Ohh…”

She actually looks disappointed.

“OK!”

The whiplash and her beaming smile give me sympathy pains.

God, I hate lying…

I’ve been paid by a couple of people, but the rest need to wait on their own work. I’ve already spent what I’d gotten, ordering tickets for You In Grey in November and Brabanter Griffin in January. So, technically it’s true, I can’t currently afford to go out for coffee yet.

“I’ll have a word with everyone for you!”

Nononononono!

Never lie, kids… you always get found out in the end!

“Please don’t do that. I don’t want anyone feeling pressured over money. They might cancel future lessons, then I’d be in more trouble. Let’s just wait til next week and make plans then, yeah?”

Pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease!

“Hmm…” she bends in closer, obviously on purpose, “…alright!”

Free from Fuyumi’s immediate scrutiny, I fail to capitalise and depart before…

“Tai…”

…Kaori neglects to greet her not even a rival and - without missing a step - nips the back of my collar, lightly tugging me down the corridor.

I gesture farewells and apologies to my befuddled benefactor as I am towed away. Fuyumi limply waves her goodbye.

“…you owe me one.”

“I owe you more than that!”

Kaori smirks and I can tell something is coming my way, but she just lets it linger.

Sometimes the less said the bettern’t.

***

Nothing happens over the weekend. Midterms have really stepped up and the group project we were warned about at the beginning of the year has finally been assigned. It’s all hands on deck.

It’s Monday when Kaori finally ambushes me with her revenge.

“You are taking me out tonight.”

“I’m doing what?”

She grins ruthlessly.

“You have been paid and did not go out at the weekend.”

“Yeah, so?”

She tuts… “Fuyumi will want her date, and you currently have the money for it. If you take me out, you will no longer be able to afford even a single cup of coffee.”

Her logic is terrifying!

How much does she expect me to spend?

“I promise you will not be disappointed.”

“Mhmm… and how do you guarantee that?”

Checkmate!

“That would be telling, but there are two incentives. First, you get to wear your cybergoth outfit that has been hanging up on display. Second…”

She checks the coast is clear, and the lizard part of my brain screams that I’m in danger.

“…you should be thinking about what I might, or might not, be wearing.”

Y’know, I never understood the whole spontaneous nosebleed thing in the pervy comedy anime my brother watched. I was probably too young at the time, but… I just got it!

I could actually feel the capillary pop in my nose, accompanied by a whine of tinnitus.

“Ok…” a meek whisper, as my soul leaves my body.

…

I manage to avoid Fuyumi for the remains of the day, only one missed text I in evidence.

I feel bad, but I’d feel worse letting down Kaori.

A man has to have his priorities straight, but can I say the same about my thinking?!.

Putting on the denshi-kei club-kid outfit feels weird.

It’s something I loved designing, but never expected to actually wear. I’m not that into EDM, though I do have some BAM Syrup and SchwartzStone CDs, and I still love Metro-Gnome…

I just didn’t really make much of it.

It’s mostly scavenged Cyber Cat, a few retro items like the Power Gauntlet, and a bunch of programmable LED strips I sewed in…

“Watch it!”

Kaori sprays some neon streaks into my hair, frowning at my protestations.

“Then hold still.”

She gets inches from my face.

“Close your eyes.”

I flinch involuntarily as something tickles my cheek… she isn’t?!.

Sneaking a look, expecting to see… not Kaori’s expression of concentration, as a brush glides past.

She gives us matching makeup. A black band with a glow in the dark line through the middle across our eyes.

I guess we’re going to a rave on a Monday night?!.

What a way to start the week!

Kaori is more modestly dressed than I expected. A black PVC macintosh covers everything to her mid-thigh, with only the slightest gap before her knee-high platform boots take over.

Somehow, it feels more like a Kaoru outfit; putting me more at ease.

When we arrive at Hedo Bar Z, the cogs start ticking...

“Is Tokyo Hedonism on tonight?!.”

Kaori scoffs, “The next one will probably be Halloween. No, tonight is…”

…I get it as soon as we enter the venue.

“SASAN!!! THAT’S DJ SASAN!!!1!”

“She does a weekly set. Now… I would like a drink. Something other than coffee.”

She’s really being territorial about Fuyumi. It’s endearing, in a way, but I wish she would actually help work out a more permanent solution. I get it’s my problem, I have to solve it, but…

Kaori takes off her coat.

I look away to avoid another nosebleed. That and the risk of my intense gaze burning holes through the basically… nothing she’s wearing.

Red sakura on black silk hot pants, leather body harness, and a bondage tape sarashi wrap.

That’s it.

Just some fishnet arm warmers to match her legs.

She pulls something out of her coat pocket.

“Could you put this on for me?”

She turns away and holds up her hair.

It’s a collar.

The cacophonous pounding of my heart drowns out all sound. Time stops as I stare at the piece of leather in my hand.

“Tai?”

Kaori looks back over her shoulder. The slight twist and extension accentuates her slight frame.

Yeah… this is too much for me.

“Please?”

Fuuuuuuuuuuuu...

I face my terror and delicately place the collar around her neck. Tightening the clasps at the back. This is the real deal. Not some pop on thing like the cuff that started it all.

I could swoon.

She bounces round to face me, openly ecstatic.

“Drinks?”

“Yes.”

I need one… or many.

The night goes by in a blur.

What money I have won’t stretch far, and it’s only Monday, so we don’t get too drunk. Just a couple to take the edge off.

For a regular slot on a Monday, SaSaN still draws a fair crowd. Once things get going, it takes on that hot, humid, cocoon like aspect any writhing mass of bodies generates.

It’s a blast!

I only recognize a few tracks, her set having evolved since the early days when my brother would listen on YourSpace.

At closing, Kaori drags me up to meet her.

It’s awkward to talk to someone I’ve admired for over a decade, but seeing DJ SaSaN in the flesh is remarkable. She’s still fabulous!

I shyly request a photo and Kaori obliges, then gets someone else to take another with her in as well. Pressing up between us like a barrier, like she’s done to me all night.

Things feel like they’re turning intimate, and I don’t really know how to handle it, but I also don’t want it to stop… I just want to enjoy whatever happens.

I want to enjoy my time with Kaori.

Arm in arm, we stumble home, still buzzed from the energy of the rave. The music of the night reverberating in our ears, as we smile through mounting tension.

I think I’m falling…