wasted years

How to have s

How to have good se

Wait, no, that'd be like trying to reach the moon without building a rocket.

How to get your partner in the mood:

Partner?

Was that what we were, partners? Co-workers, sure... friends?  He'd probably say yes because he was nice nice. Maybe I should ask. Bad idea, but now the thought had surfaced, it'd consume my innards until I did.

"Hi hi, Kiryuuin!"

I almost dropped my phone. Even though it was Ootsuki Rima's day off, she showed up anyway—as a worker, no less. When had she even walked in? "Hi, Ootsuki Rima. Um. Did Mr. Clarence approve this overtime for you?"

She shrugged, taking a seat at the table behind the counter. "Just consider it volunteering."

Why did Ootsuki Rima and Youji like to work? It was weird. People here were all weird. Mr. Clarence showed up once a week at best, and whenever he did, he brought some antique or weird post-modernist sculpture to allegedly decorate the shop, as though it being called FRIED TACO SUSHI (GUITARS!!!) yet having no fried taco sushi (thankfully) in the menu or enough guitars to warrant the exclamation points wasn't enough. 

Anyway, with her looming behind me, I could no longer do research. Unusually, somebody had made a huge order earlier by phone, so Youji was busy at the kitchen. I wasn't. He didn't let me help. "Is it okay if I change the music, then?" Asked Ootsuki Rima.

"Go ahead."

Ootsuki Rima's playlist had slightly less guitars, but it was still mostly in English. Youji sang along often. We'd grown used to it already. "Is it okay if I study unless it gets busy?" 

"Go ahead. I do the same, so."

I heard paper shuffle behind me, but didn't turn around. "By the way, why did you choose biology?"

"W-what?"

"For college?"

"Oh." People often got those majors wrong. As in, my family. Because seldom anyone else asked. Youji had asked, and I'd told him the truth, but he didn't seem to like it: I'd meant to lean towards game development, but some of my high school classmates had chosen that department, too, and I didn't want to see them. Nobody chose botany. So I did. I couldn't have cared less about plants back then. I couldn't tell this to Ootsuki Rima, of course, or she'd think even worse than she did of me already. "I uh. I like it?"

"But why?"

"B-because... um... uhhh..."

"Is it something you could see yourself doing for the rest of your life?" She asked. "Can you see yourself waking up every day for forty years to work on that without it becoming depressing?"

I turned to look at her from the corners of my eyes. "Are you trying to choose a career right now, or what?"

Ootsuki Rima leered at me. She'd let her hair down instead of tying it into braids for once. It barely reached below her shoulders anyway. "Answer me," she rudely said.

I shrugged.

This made the leer vanish. "Huh? Seriously?"

I nodded. 

Now she just looked sad. "I'll just ask Natsume-san later."

Speaking of which—he sounded like he was done with the giant order already. More like a lack of sound. Good, because a woman showed up to pick it up. I offered to help take the order to her car, but she declined. Weird. Best not to interfere. Maybe she had hostages tied up in there but didn't want them to starve to death so she—

Shh, brain, shut up. 

—got all this food so she could keep them alive, and from a very strategic place too, since it was often emptier than my inbox unless some company spammed offers like I'd—

Stop. Shut up. 

She left. I pretended my thoughts left, too. "What if you stayed a coffee shop barista all your life?" Asked Ootsuki Rima. "Would you like that?"

"Um. I guess I wouldn't mind."

"So you wouldn't mind not working as a biologist? Then why did you choose that?"

Yeah, she was definitely trying to choose something for herself. She looked too young to be about to graduate, though. Perhaps she was one of those people who liked to plan ahead. This was a Conversation I hadn't ruined yet, and she looked for Guidance. From an Adult. I had to choose my words carefully. "Because I, um. To be honest, I didn't really care that much about plants at first, and thought I'd just choose that because, um. Reasons. But I ended up liking them a lot. Getting paid to see them every day would be nice. Like a dream I didn't know I had before, kind of."

"I see."

That was the end of Ootsuki Rima's interrogation. She scribbled and scribbled and scribbled. I still couldn't research what I wanted to research, with her sitting behind me and all.

Should I just ask him about it? Would that be hasty? Then again, he did have two hundred and ninety nine boyfriends. I'd be one of many. 

When Youji walked out of the kitchen, I jumped. "Hey, Isao," he began, "I brought some... wait, Rima-chan? Isn't it your day off?"

...some snacks. Mr. Clarence often gave us some when he showed up, and he'd told us before that we could make some for ourselves if we wanted to. Ootsuki Rima visibly shrunk at the question for some reason. "Yeah... I'm just here to, you know. Just in case."

"You should rest," Youji told her. 

"I'm fine. It's not like I'm getting paid, so."

I couldn't put my finger on why, exactly, that seemed like a weird response, but Youji thought the same based on the way he tried to hide the frown. Sometimes he did that when I said something stupid. If I hadn't known him, I wouldn't have noticed, though. "...all right. You can have some of these, if you want. Isao? Can you get her something to drink?"

So I did. If it weren't for Ootsuki Rima then he probably would've come to talk to me for a bit. Pardon me—Rima-CHAN. While I was just Isao. Anyway, I brewed her some tea. She'd already scarfed half the mini sandwiches by the time I got to her. Youji had gone back to doing nothing at the kitchen. "Thank you," said Ootsuki Rima. 

It's not like I wanted to get called Isao-chan. It'd feel patronizing. Still. "Welcome. Can you, uh. Take care of the counter for some time?"

"Sure." She stood up. That was easy. I forgot she was nice with how often she harassed me lately. "Please clean after yourselves if you—"

I fled. 

As though expecting this, Youji said, the moment I walked in, "I'm worried about Rima-chan. If she's here so she can avoid her house, that's already bad enough, but... why here? Why not the house of one of her friends? Or a relative?"

I stood next to him. Around anyone else, it'd make me feel stupider than usual, but Youji seemed used to it already. Also, whenever he wasn't busy, he'd give me a side hug, such as now. Gravity stopped existing whenever he did that. Also, my thoughts. I had to. Think. Answer. "Yes. It's. Weird. I've, um. Asked her before, but she gets mad. When I ask."

Youji let me go.

"W-why did you..."

"I'm sorry. I was making you uncomfortable, right?"

NO? NO YOU idiot. I was the idiot.

He grinned. "You're just too cute."

Oh, shut up. Don't hug me. Whatever. "Anyway," I said, "She also told me not to tell Mr. Clarence about it, so I haven't, but... yeah."

"They could both get into trouble."

"That's what I told her, but she said it'd be fine, since she wasn't getting paid. Maybe she's homeless?"

"Doubtful."

"I think I'll ask anyway."

"Ask away."

Speaking of which, Mr. Natsume Youji, I had another question. A very important one. Which I couldn't ask. But I had to. But not? Because he still thought he made me uncomfortable. "Um. So. Before I go. Um. Have you. How many. Bye."

"Bye."

"P-partners."

Youji took a moment to answer. "Not sure."

...of course... because he'd had so many... how could I forget... two hundred and ninety-nine...

"Technically, one."

"What."

He smiled, though it didn't reach his eyes. "How about you?"

Since we both knew the answer to that, I said, instead, "You liar," before leaving. 

One, he said. 

As if.