A Boy With FOMO

“Uggghh…” I groaned at the boiling pot of meat in front of me.

Sluuurp!

The noise came from Seri, who sat across me. She inhaled the meat straight out of her own pot, then took a spoonful of sauce to chase it down like it was a sorority challenge. Questioning the life decisions that brought me here, I unbuttoned my pants and leaned back in my seat.

“Cobb on!” Seri egged with a mouthful of food. “Meaph ibn’t gomma eeb iffelf.”

“What?”

She gulped and simultaneously snatched a slice of lamb from my pot. “The meat isn’t gonna eat itself!”

I pinched the bridge of my nose.

During the remainder of our walk yesterday, we agreed to grab coffee and study after our maths lecture. Unfortunately, neither of us ate breakfast, and my lunch salad wasn’t enough for the two of us. It didn’t help that she spent half an hour talking to our prof afterwards. By the time we reached the café, Seri was almost crying from hunger. So here we were at the hotpot buffet next door, stuffing ourselves with sliced meat in the late afternoon.

“Are you done?” I asked. “There’s a two hour time limit, you know.”

“We have to eat our money’s worth!” she declared. “It’s forty-five dollars. Are you even there yet?”

“…I’m gonna throw up before I eat thirty-eight dollars worth.”

“I’ll just eat your fill then!”

“Is that how buffets work?” Something wasn’t mathing up, but I was too bloated to think straight. Taking a deep breath, I scanned the room. Artificial orange lights fought desperately against the bright sun shining through the windows. It was almost evening.

“This is so good!” Seri gushed. “I can’t believe there’s no one here.”

“It’s not that good,” I said. “There’s just a lot of it.”

“Quantity makes up for quality! Why aren’t you surprised? Have you had hotpot like this before?”

“I’ve been here before.”

“…?!” Seri halted mid-slurp to stare at me. “And you’ve never told me about this place? We almost sat at the café next door without coming here!”

“…it was four years ago, for my highschool grad.” I sipped my water. I could feel my throat grow slippery, like it was preparing to launch my stomach acid. “Don’t make me talk too much. I’m gonna throw up…”

“Ohh, high school. Do you still talk to your high school friends?”

”Not really,” I replied. “During nursing, I only talked to nursing kids.”

“Which nurses do you still talk to?”

“I guess Vivian. She was the one who invited me to grad.”

“Were you guys close?” she asked. I look at her. She felt unusually nosy today.

I hesitated. “What’s an example of someone close to you?”

“Good question,” Seri answered. “Like, I still grab brunch with my friends Jessica and Emily. I’d say we’re close, but definitely not as close as when we hung out at school everyday.”

“Does that make you sad?”

“Of course. What about you?”

“Well, I kind of fell out of my group.”

Seri raised her eyebrows. “Really? Even though you were so popular?”

“No,” I shook my head. “We just partied in big groups, and I was chill with everyone individually… but when I dropped out, I think they made a new groupchat and I stopped getting invites. I guess I was close with Vivian though.”

“Not anymore?” she asked.

“Probably not.” I wasn’t good at gauging how close I was to others, so these types of questions weren’t up my alley. “I guess it makes me a little sad.”

“Well when I’m sad, I like dessert. You want ice cream?”

Did she just say dessert? I closed my eyes and sank into the chair. My stomach was at maximum capacity, and my consciousness was ready for lift-off.

“Hey! Sunny! Are you alive? You still have a dessert stomach, right?”

I grumbled like an old man. “I’m not as young as I used to be…”

“Fine. I’ll grab some ice cream, then we can leave. Don’t be such a grouch.”

“Thank God,” I said, reclining into the chair.

Why was I in such a bad mood today?

I didn’t like being hungry, I didn’t like eating too much, and I didn’t like spending forty-five dollars, but none of those were enough to get me pissed like this. It was probably because…

My eyes drifted towards a poster on the wall that read Healthcare Worker Discount! I used to come here all the time with my friends, right after our practicums. Students could get the discount too as long as we showed our hospital badges. At some point, we grew out of all-you-can-eat and started going to higher-end bars or karaoke places instead.

I burped the warmth out of my core and shivered. For the first time today, the restaurant felt hollow. I didn’t notice since we usually came with such a big group — we were often rejected from smaller venues because of sheer size. One time, fifteen of us ran through hail to find a restaurant that would take us. I fractured my pinky, and Vivian got a neck bruise that looked like a hickey. They were all fun memories, so why was I pissed?

Footsteps walked towards me. I sluggishly lifted my eyelids. Her hands held an empty ice cream bowl and a dirty spoon. I sighed in relief and reached for my wallet.

“There’s a bunch of nurses here! I think I saw Vivian.” Seri announced energetically.

I did a mental double take. “Huh?”

Was it the group? No… nurses get the worker discount, so it was probably with her coworkers.

“Yeah, let’s-” she suddenly stopped and stared at me.

Did I look weird?

Confused, I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand. There was nothing there. “Is something on my face?”

“No… nothing. Let’s go pay.”

We walked through the restaurant. Early dinner diners were starting to come in, but I didn’t see anyone in nursing scrubs. After all, it was a little late for day shift nurses to be grabbing food. Work ended for them hours ago.

As we approached the front, a girl caught my eye. Amongst the plethora of people there was a familiar face: Vivian. I hadn’t seen her since graduation. Her smile faded as we waved at me. Unease rose in my stomach. She was there with the group that I used to come here with, all of them wearing casual clothes.

As Seri talked with one of the girls, I made some small talk.

“Hey! You guys here after work?” I asked Vivian.

She smiled. “Work? No, not today. Michelle came back from Europe to visit. What brings you here?”

“Oh, I didn’t know she was in town! We were just hungry after class.”

“Ah, I see. How’s school?”

“Good.”

One of the guys slapped me on the back. “Nice seeing you here, buddy! Round two??”

I laughed. “No thanks Kevin, I’m already aboutta throw up.”

“Let’s go pay!” Seri piped up.

“See ya,” I said to the group. But instead of going to the cash register with Seri, I handed her my credit card. She was probably puzzled, but I turned and beelined towards the exit before I could see her reaction.

Kevin was still talking loudly. “Let’s do karaoke for our next monthly!”

My eye twitched. I burst through the door, but the fresh air that opened my lungs didn’t make me feel any better. The unease in my core continued to rise, and for a moment, the world froze.

Shit.

Grabbing the nearby garbage can with both hands, I lurched and heaved up a bolus of spinach and sliced lamb.

“Bleeeugh.”

Two seconds of bliss. Like the world had been lifted off my shoulders. Then my stomach squeezed again.

“Uueegh!”

There was a cooked octopus tentacle in this one. The sight of that alone was enough to make me throw up a third time.

“God, Sunny.” I felt a warm palm rest on my shoulder. “Do you have water in your backpack?” she asked.

I turned to look at her. Before I made the full one-eighty, Seri had already snatched the bottle from my bag and handed it to me. I swished some water around in my mouth before spitting it in the trash.

“Thanks,” I said.

“You need any gravol? Tums? I think I got tums…” Seri panicked. Her earphones fell out as she pillaged her backpack.

“It’s okay. Do you have gum?” I asked, still trying to smack the sour taste out of my mouth.

“Gum?” she questioned. “Does that help with nausea?”

“It usually helps mine… I’ve gotten checked multiple times. The doctor thinks it’s psychological.”

“Is it anxiety?”

“I don’t know.”

“Would anything make you feel better?”

I took a swig of water. My mind and body were both fatigued, but my will remained unsatisfied. If I was going to suffer anyways, we might as well get some work done.

“Let’s go study already,” I said.