Coffee Together

“Thank God you’re finally here,” Seri said.

She sat at a table next to the window. I had just gotten back from washing residual vomit off my hands and shirt. It took a while, since I zoned out at the sink after giving myself a pep talk five centimetres from the mirror.

“What’s up?” I asked.

“My bladder’s about to burst. Watch my stuff.”

Seri sprint-walked down the café’s cosy corridor towards the washroom. Orange lights illuminated the cream counters and brown wood, meshing seamlessly with the hazily warm outdoors. If you squinted a little, the café itself would’ve looked like a latté. Maybe that was the designer’s intentions. It was a soothing atmosphere for my unsettled stomach, unlike actual lattés.

It was surprisingly compact, compared to the hotpot place next door. Perhaps the lack of space came from the thick walls, because I could hardly hear what was happening on the other side — not that I was trying to.

I sat down and opened my laptop. My heart sank from just looking at the screen’s reflection. Was this what Seri’s been looking at all day? I widened my eyes a little and practised a couple smiles. Today was not my day.

Why don’t we stay away from mirrors for now?

I folded my laptop and started flipping through my textbook instead.

Integrals, derivatives, Kevin… sigh.

There was no getting them out of my mind. I tried focusing again.

Antiderivatives, all-you-can-eat, Vivian…

The intrusive thoughts kept pouring in.

They’re right next door. Why’s that a problem? My friends are having good natured fun, and they meant no ill intent. I shouldn’t be thinking this much about not being invited. It’s my fault for dropping out of nursing, right?

…right.

It’s my fault for dropping out.

They’re not in the wrong.

It’s my fault I don’t talk to them anymore.

……

“Are you okay?”

Seri’s concerned face was my first sight as I blinked the world back into focus.

“What are you zoning out for?” she asked.

“I’m grieving,” I said.

“Who died?”

“The forty-five dollars in my wallet.”

“I paid for your hotpot, you know.”

Her response flabbergasted me. “You what?”

“You looked really bad when you handed me your credit card, so I thought I’d pay for yours. Consider it thanks for yesterday! I was the one that made you come with me anyways.”

“You’re an angel.”

Seri theatrically flipped her hair. “What can I say?”

“I think I see a halo on your head.”

“Ahem,” Seri straightened her back. “Why weren’t you happy to see Vivian?”

“How did you know?”

Her eyes appeared solemn. “When I told you the nurses were there, you put on a really fake smile right away. It was actually a little gross to see how instinctive that was. Aren’t they your friends?”

“It doesn’t seem that way.” I pressed my lips together.

“Why?”

“I never feel like they want me there. I didn’t think our friendships would change that much after I quit nursing, but I guess it’s my fault for dropping out-”

“Here.”

Seri held out a crinkly yellow wrap.

“What…?”

“It’s a cheeseburger!” she declared.

“Why do you have this?”

“I picked it up this morning. It’s perfect timing, isn’t it? You just threw up your lunch too.”

“Couldn’t you have eaten this for your lunch?” I questioned. My forehead was hot. I pressed a hand against it to cool it down. “Wasn’t the whole reason we went to hotpot because we were hungry?”

“Cheeseburgers never go bad, you know? They have so many preservatives.”

“I- that’s not the point.”

Seri’s expression softened, and her earnest brown irises locked in mine. “I know. I just planned to save it for when you felt sad… as thanks for yesterday,” she paused. “You know, it’s not your fault for dropping out. We both had our reasons.”

“How am I supposed to know that they’d stop talking to me? I can’t study at all. All I can think about are my frie- my-” I stuttered and gave up on my sentence with a weighted sigh. “They’re next door and I can’t focus. Whatever my reasons were for quitting, I’m starting to regret them now.”

“Do you regret meeting me?”

“It’s not that, just…”

“Tomorrow, you’re gonna wake up at thirty years old regardless of your regrets,” Seri said quietly. “No matter how much you beat yourself up for quitting, it doesn’t change the fact that we dropped out already. There’s no turning back for either of us.”

“…I know.”

“Sorry if I’m coming off as harsh, but if you’re gonna be thirty anyways, you might as well be thirty and happy with a degree. Am I right?”

“I’m twenty-two…” I responded weakly. I knew what she meant, but couldn’t think of how to acknowledge it.

We sat in the café’s ambience. Customers typed and talked and sipped their drinks, each of them in their own worlds just as Seri and I were in ours. She was right. This was the reality I had before me, and it was meaningless to think about people in another room.

I breathed deeply. “Thanks Seri.” My current studies with her took priority — after all, the others were in the past. Best case scenario, I had at least six years of school left with this girl.

“Anytime,” she said happily.

Unwrapping the yellow package, I revealed a cold, delicious, chee- wait a minute.

“Seri?”

“Yes?”

“This is an English muffin.”

“I ordered from the morning menu. Besides, there’s cheese in it.”

She was right. It was a dense package of processed umami, complete with cheese, egg, and sliced ham. For some reason, the edges looked different than what I was used to. It was also much smaller than I remembered.

“Did they trim the burger?” I asked, perplexed.

She whistled.

“…Seri?”

“…I was hungry at lunch, remember?”

For once, my amazement actually overshadowed my annoyance. She had meticulously bitten the sides of the sandwich in a way that appeared perfectly circular. If this was my first time eating an English muffin, I wouldn’t have recognized the bite marks.

Seri avoided my gaze. “I didn’t think you’d notice.”

“Well, it’s not like I can complain,” I said.

“Really?!”

“Yeah, this makes the second meal you’ve treated me to today. In return, I’ll treat you to the next five coffees.”

“Five?!”

“I feel like we’ll be coming here alot this year.”

Seri beamed. “Now I’m excited! I wonder how much it’ll cost for us to come here everyday.”

“Whoa… we don’t have to come everyday.”

“I know, but where else would we go? I don’t like videocalling that much, and the park wasn’t that great.”

“I…”

Wait. She assumed that we would be studying together.

The girl in front of me, deep in thought, included me in her plans like it was the most natural thing to do. I had spent my entire day sulking about other people, when I had someone who’s repeatedly made an effort to be in my life.

Instead of arguing against her suggestion, I pulled out my phone.

Seri perked up. “Hmm?”

“Calculating how much it’d cost to come here everyday.”

“Hey- wait, I was joking! They have a cheaper café on campus for two dollars a cup.”

“Hmm…” I mused. “We could book a room in the library too, and bring our own drinks,”

“Yeah! Or just drink water,” she lowered her voice into a whisper. “Let’s not come here everyday, it’s six dollars per coffee. Respectfully, I am not that rich either.”

“Let’s plan our upcoming week then,” I said. “We can alternate between library and campus coffee, and then come here as a treat.”

“Don’t forget the gym. I slept through it this Monday.”

“Right! And…”

While we bantered about how we’d plan the rest of our summer semester, many strangers cycled through the shop. The evening rush began to bustle outside and my friends might’ve finished eating already, but neither was deserving of my attention. For the first day in a while, we got absolutely no work done, but my guilt kept being washed away by a certain girl’s laugh.

I smiled softly. “This is fun”

“Ah, there’s a real smile!” she said as she reciprocated mine. “You know, this is only possible because we dropped out.”

“You’re right,” I said.

In spite of my recuperating stomach, the moment refreshed my soul. Seri’s coffee-flavoured eyes, my warm black tea, and our cold English muffin more than made up for my afternoon of agony. I washed down the aftertaste of acid with an aromatic drink and a savoury sandwich.

For once, my gratitude for Seri overshadowed the loneliness I felt from being left behind. If the natural passage of time was what brought this girl into my life, then I was glad things turned out the way they did.